AITA for telling my kids that if they don’t go to my wedding I will not be attending theres?
Picture a family dinner turned battlefield, where a mother’s joyful engagement announcement meets her adult children’s icy glares. For this mom, the scars of a messy divorce linger, not in her heart but in her kids’ loyalty to their spiraling ex-father. At 25, 23, and 21, they’ve declared a boycott of her wedding, siding with their dad’s fragile emotions over her new chapter. Exhausted by years of tiptoeing around his feelings, she fired back: skip my wedding, and I’ll skip yours. Harsh? Maybe. But after a decade of being painted as the villain, who wouldn’t snap?
This Reddit tale from the AITA forum is a raw glimpse into family loyalty gone awry. It’s not just about a wedding—it’s about a mother reclaiming her happiness against the weight of her kids’ blame. Let’s unpack her story, hear from experts, and see what Reddit’s got to say.
‘AITA for telling my kids that if they don’t go to my wedding I will not be attending theres?’
Weddings should spark joy, not family feuds, but this mom’s caught in a tug-of-war with her kids’ misplaced loyalty. The core issue? Parental alienation, where one parent—here, the ex-husband—subtly or overtly turns kids against the other. A 2022 study from the Journal of Family Issues (source) notes that 13.4% of divorced parents report alienation tactics, often burdening children with emotional manipulation.
Her ex’s spirals, triggered by her dating, have cast her as the family’s bad guy, despite her efforts to shield the kids. Dr. Amy Baker, a parental alienation expert, says, “Children caught in loyalty conflicts may reject a parent to protect the other, often unaware of the manipulation” (soure). Here, the kids’ refusal to attend the wedding screams allegiance to their dad, not reason. Her ultimatum, while fiery, stems from years of suppressed frustration—though it risks widening the rift.
This taps into a broader issue: post-divorce family dynamics. Kids, even adults, can cling to idealized views of a parent, especially if one paints themselves as a victim. Her choice to reveal the ex’s past via screenshots was a desperate bid for truth, but disbelief shows how deep the alienation runs.
Advice: A mediated family therapy session, as Dr. Baker suggests, could untangle this mess. She should keep lines open—invite them to the wedding without pressure—and model moving forward. If they don’t come, setting boundaries while leaving room for reconciliation is key. Therapy for herself could also help process this pain.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Reddit’s never shy, and this thread’s a wildfire of support and shade. From calling out the kids’ “ridiculous” loyalty to slamming the ex’s manipulation, the comments are a spicy mix.
These takes are bold, but do they miss the deeper family fracture? Or are they spot-on?
This mom’s fight isn’t just about wedding RSVPs—it’s about breaking free from a decade of blame for her ex’s struggles. Her ultimatum was a cry for respect, but the kids’ loyalty to their dad shows how tangled family ties can get. Reddit cheers her on, but healing this rift will take more than texts or screenshots. Have you ever faced a family divide where moving on felt like betrayal? What would you do in her place? Share below!
