AITA For refusing to get my cousin into a top university because of a “prank?”

In the dead of a snowy night, a frantic phone call sent one person skidding through a blizzard, fearing for their grandparents’ lives—only to discover it was a cruel prank by their 14-year-old cousin. Fast forward three years, and that same cousin’s mother is begging for a golden ticket into a top university, leveraging family ties. But the sting of that icy drive lingers, and the answer is a firm no, sparking a family firestorm that’s left holiday invites on ice.

The cousin’s unpunished prank and lack of apology fuel the refusal, but the family’s insistence—and their shunning—raises the stakes. When the OP went further, flagging the cousin’s application, accusations of pettiness flew. It’s a tangled tale of grudges, ethics, and family loyalty. Was this a justified stand or a step too far? Reddit’s ready to shovel through this snowy drama.

‘AITA For refusing to get my cousin into a top university because of a “prank?”‘

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Refusing to pull strings for a cousin’s college admission after a reckless prank feels personal, but it’s layered with ethical weight. The OP’s anger over the dangerous drive—prompted by a fake emergency call—clashes with the family’s dismissal of the incident as a “boys will be boys” moment.

The prank, at 14, was immature but risky, endangering the OP and damaging their car. Dr. David Swanson, a child psychologist, notes, “Teen pranks can stem from poor judgment, but lack of accountability can deepen relational rifts” (David Swanson). A 2018 study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that unaddressed conflicts in families persist, with 60% of grudges tied to perceived injustice (APA Journals). The family’s failure to enforce consequences or apologize fuels the OP’s resentment.

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The OP’s refusal to help is fair—using connections for an unqualified candidate is unethical, as admissions should be merit-based. However, flagging the application was a spiteful overstep. Dr. Swanson suggests, “Resolving grudges requires dialogue, not retaliation.” The OP could address the family’s dismissal of the prank directly, seeking closure while letting the cousin’s application stand or fall on its own. Their stand is understandable, but vengeance clouds the moral high ground.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit squad plowed into this family snowstorm with a mix of cheers and shade. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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Redditors mostly backed the OP’s refusal to help but called out the application flagging as petty. Some saw the family’s pressure as entitled, while others urged letting go of a teen’s mistake. Do these takes clear the air, or just kick up more snow?

This icy family saga shows how a teen’s reckless prank can snowball into lasting grudges. The OP’s refusal to pull strings for their cousin is justified, but flagging his application tipped into revenge. It’s a reminder that family wounds need airing, not escalating. Have you ever held a grudge over a family prank gone wrong? How would you balance forgiveness with fairness in this situation?

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One Comment

  1. You are not ruining his future.

    You are refusing to use connections to get someone into a school that they don’t have the academic standing to enter otherwise. Ask them if it would be a favor to the kid if he then dropped out because he couldn’t handle the pressure and had THAT mark on his record?

    Forget the prank, if you know or strongly suspect that he’s too immature to do the actual work to stay in school in good standing, why let him take a place he didn’t earn and probably won’t keep?