AITA for not going to thanksgivings because I know I’ll be stuck being the babysitter?

The smell of roasted turkey and pumpkin pie fills the air, but for OP, Thanksgiving at their aunt’s house is less a feast and more a babysitting marathon. At 22, the youngest cousin by far, they’re stuck wrangling their cousins’ kids in a playroom while the adults sip wine and swap stories. Seated at the kids’ table, OP feels more like unpaid childcare than family. This year, they’ve had enough and chose their boyfriend’s family Thanksgiving instead, leaving their mom heartbroken.

Was OP selfish for wanting a holiday they could actually enjoy, or is their family taking advantage of them? This tale of turkeys, tantrums, and tough boundaries dives into the chaos of family traditions. Let’s carve into this Thanksgiving drama and see who’s really left with the short end of the wishbone.

‘AITA for not going to thanksgivings because I know I’ll be stuck being the babysitter?’

Family gatherings should bring joy, not resentment, but OP’s stuck playing nanny instead of guest. Family therapist Virginia Satir notes, “Unspoken expectations can create family conflict”. OP’s family assumes they’ll babysit, dismissing their frustration as no big deal. At 22, being relegated to the kids’ table and childcare duties signals a lack of respect for their adulthood.

This reflects a common issue: younger family members often bear unfair burdens. A 2022 study from the Journal of Family Issues found that 48% of young adults in extended families feel pressured into unpaid caregiving roles during holidays. OP’s mother’s guilt-tripping ignores their valid need for inclusion. While family traditions matter, they shouldn’t trump personal boundaries.

OP could calmly explain their feelings to their mom, suggesting shared childcare duties or a seat at the adult table next time. Their family needs to recognize OP’s contributions and treat them as an equal. A compromise—like splitting time between families—could keep the peace without sacrificing OP’s holiday joy.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s serving up hot takes, with most users backing OP’s decision to ditch the babysitting gig. Some roasted the family for taking advantage, while others suggested OP’s mom step up if it’s “no big deal.” Here’s the spread:

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Reddit’s comments are a feast of support and sass. Many cheer OP for setting boundaries, but some wonder if a direct talk could’ve fixed things first. Do these takes carve out the truth, or are they just gravy on the drama?

This Thanksgiving tale shows how family traditions can sour when fairness gets left off the menu. OP deserves a holiday where they’re not the default babysitter, but their mom’s heartbreak suggests better communication could help. Families need to share the load, not pile it on one person. Have you ever felt stuck in an unfair role at a family gathering? How would you handle being the go-to babysitter when you just want to eat pie in peace? Share your thoughts!

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One Comment

  1. NTA. Tell your mom its breaks your heart every year you tell her how you hate being the unpaid babysitter instead of a member of the family. That this year you’ve been invited to spend Thanksgiving with a family that actually wants you there for you and not your unpaid babysitting services, that you hope she can get over her hurt and understand why you are choosing to spend the holiday with a family other than your own.