I (23F) think my boyfriend (24M) is controlling after he called me over 200 times during a family birthday dinner… any advice if I should run?
Imagine a chill day planned: a 23-year-old woman gearing up to celebrate her little brother’s 18th birthday with family. She’s got a boyfriend, 24, who’s been cool with it—until he skips work and suddenly expects her to ditch the party for him. She sticks to her guns, because family matters, right? But what starts as a simple “no” spirals into a nightmare of control, threats, and over 200 phone calls in five hours. Buckle up—this one’s a wild ride.
The evening rolls around, and her boyfriend’s vague “hmm” about joining for dinner sets off a fight. He threatens self-harm, spam-calls her, and she shuts her phone off to save the night. When she gets home, he dumps her—then backtracks, orders an Uber she doesn’t want, and even grabs his mom’s car to “rescue” her. Now, her family’s done with him, and she’s suffocating. Is this love or a trap?
‘ I (23F) think my boyfriend (24M) is controlling after he called me over 200 times during a family birthday dinner… any advice if I should run?’
This guy’s behavior? It’s textbook red flags on steroids. Dr. Lundy Bancroft, an expert on abusive relationships, writes, “Control escalates when partners resist—it’s about power, not love” (Why Does He Do That?, source). Here, her standing firm on family time flipped his switch. Threatening self-harm? That’s manipulation 101. The 200 calls? Obsession with a side of creepy.
He’s not just clingy—he’s isolating her. Skipping work to derail her plans, guilting her for boundaries—it’s a playbook move. A 2023 National Domestic Violence Hotline report says 1 in 4 women face controlling tactics early in relationships (link). Her family’s alarm bells are spot-on; they see what she’s wrestling with.
Exit strategy? End it, block him, and lean on family. Dr. Bancroft advises, “Safety first—distance stops the cycle.” If he pulls the self-harm card again, call 911—let pros handle it. Readers, what’s your take on escaping this mess?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Reddit’s dropping truth bombs—“run,” “block,” “he’s unhinged.” Here’s the raw, unfiltered scoop from the crew.
Are these folks nailing it, or is there more to unpack?
So, she’s stuck between a boyfriend’s meltdown and her own sanity. He’s drowning her in control; she’s gasping for air. Family’s out, Reddit’s screaming “flee”—but what’s next? If your partner turned a birthday into a 200-call circus, would you stay or bolt? Drop your wisdom below—we’re all ears for this one!
