AITAH For Telling My Future MIL That If She Wants Me To Have a Large Wedding, She Can Pay For It?
Weddings should wed wishes, not wallets, but for this 29-year-old lawyer, her fiancé’s mom flipped the script. Engaged to Ryan, 30, she’s eyeing her dad’s $75K gift to slash her $100K law school debt—not fund a bash. Future MIL Jan demands a grand affair—her retort: “You pay.” Was she the ass, or just astute?
Picture a pragmatic pair—courthouse vows, debt down—then Jan’s tears push pomp. Her folks funded undergrad; she’s self-made since. Jan cries tradition; Ryan cites her elopement—tension spikes. Let’s tally this nuptial knot and count the cost.
‘AITAH For Telling My Future MIL That If She Wants Me To Have a Large Wedding, She Can Pay For It?‘
Vows vow love—cash shouldn’t command. This bride-to-be’s loan load trumps lace; Jan’s big-day dream jars their joint goal. Her “pay it” jab—was it crass or canny? Let’s balance it. She’s shrewd: $75K chops debt, not décor—Ryan nods, parents praise. Jan’s “selfish” tag stings; her elopement echo mocks her push. The quip’s no spite—it’s sense, a boundary born of burden. Jan’s not owed their dime or her folks’ haul—she’s grasping at their gain.
This sums a wedlock woe: vision vs. vault. A 2023 WeddingWire survey says 40% of couples clash with kin over costs (source). Expert Dr. Susan Forward notes, “Money’s a mirror—meddlers reflect regret” (source). Jan’s lens blurs their line. Forward’s frame fits: she’s NTA—her call’s fiscal, not foul. Advice: stand pat, nudge Jan’s renewal, lock loans. Readers, what’s your math—her move, or too mean?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Reddit’s hum rang a clear chime of cheer. Many banked her bet—debt’s a beast, they mused, Jan’s gala her gig, not theirs to fund. Some tallied Jan’s tally—hypocrisy high, purse hers—wrapping her in NTA, a bride budgeting bright. Others inked a tip—vow redo for Jan?—yet all chimed one sum: she’s no heel, Jan’s the hitch. The tune tolled true: her thrift trumps tantrums.
This wedding wrangle’s no petty pence—it’s a plump purse of priorities and push, where a bride’s bottom line met a MIL’s big bash. Jan’s plea for pomp flops; her “pay it” push holds—was it too tart, a snap where soft might’ve soothed? Or does Jan’s overreach owe the overbill?
She plans, Jan pines—sums split. What do you reckon—did she quip too quick, or Jan crave too cush? How would you budget this bridal bind? Drop your digits, your own tales of kin’s coin, below—let’s reckon this rich rift together!
