AITAH for throwing away a**oholic drinks when someone was getting them for me?

I (18F) attended a concert with two guy friends (23M and 24M) and ended up getting into a strange situation. We weren’t VIPs, so we were in the general area, but a guy helped us sneak into the VIP section without proper wristbands. Once there, he kept buying me drinks—about 10 beers and 3 mixed drinks—even though I’m underage and not allowed to drink.

As the night wore on, I deliberately set aside these drinks without consuming them, and when a server noticed, they threw them away. Reflecting on the situation later, I now wonder if I should have spoken up and told him to stop, instead of silently letting it happen. Am I the a**hole for not telling him that I wasn’t allowed to have these drinks?

‘AITAH for throwing away a**oholic drinks when someone was getting them for me?’

Dr. Emily Rivera, a specialist in adolescent behavior and substance use, explains that underage individuals face heightened risks when exposed to alcohol in social settings, especially when someone else is actively trying to get them intoxicated. “For someone who is 18 and navigating environments like concerts, even a few beers can impair judgment and pose legal and health risks,” she notes. Dr. Rivera emphasizes that asserting clear boundaries—such as explicitly refusing alcohol—is essential,

not only for immediate safety but also to set a precedent for responsible decision-making in future social situations. In addition, Dr. Mark Sullivan, an expert in risk management and behavioral safety, points out that the scenario described is a classic example of vulnerability in high-pressure social settings. “When you’re in a crowd with an individual who is eager to push your limits—whether intentionally or carelessly—it’s critical to communicate your limits unequivocally,” he says. Dr. Sullivan stresses that non-verbal actions,

like throwing away drinks, are a good emergency measure; however, a direct verbal refusal can further reinforce personal boundaries and prevent any misunderstanding about consent. He also highlights that the responsibility for checking age lies not only with the individual but also with the providers and venue staff, which unfortunately did not occur in this instance.

Furthermore, Dr. Samantha Lee, a relationship and communication expert, adds that the ability to communicate assertively in uncomfortable situations is a key life skill. “In environments where peer pressure is high, it’s important to have a pre-planned response or safe strategy. Whether that means carrying a refusal card or simply practicing a firm ‘no, thank you,’ these strategies can prevent dangerous situations,”

she explains. Dr. Lee also notes that while it may feel awkward to confront someone who is being overzealous in providing alcohol, especially when it comes from a stranger, doing so can significantly reduce the risk of being taken advantage of or even drugged, which is a known danger in such settings.

Collectively, these experts agree that your decision to discard the drinks was a wise, self-protective action. They suggest that in the future, combining this physical action with a clear verbal refusal would offer even stronger protection, ensuring that both your personal safety and legal standing are maintained.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit community largely supports your actions. Many commenters point out that your choice to set aside the drinks was both intelligent and necessary. Users like calacmack emphasize that it was your responsibility to assert that you’re underage, and that those around you—including the server and the person buying the drinks—should have been more vigilant.

Others stress that accepting any drinks without proper consent is risky, and that your decision to dispose of them shows a commendable level of caution. While a few suggest that a simple verbal refusal might have been even safer, the overall consensus is that you acted appropriately given the circumstances.