AITA for telling my mom not to babysit anymore when my husband changed his mind?
Family is meant to cradle with support and shared loads—but what happens when a husband’s penny-pinching flips a grandma’s gig into a daycare debacle? Here unwinds the taut, telling tale of a 31-year-old engineer and her 34-year-old lawyer husband, parents to two girls (3 and 1). Mom quits nursing to nanny for $3,000 monthly—then he gripes, she swaps to daycare at $3,600, chaos climbs. He demands Mom back; she says no, not for less. Is she the asshole for this hold? Let’s weigh this childcare churn.
‘AITA for telling my mom not to babysit anymore when my husband changed his mind?’
This isn’t just a babysit ban—it’s a stand for worth, strained by his shortsight. Her $3,000 deal—meals, pickups—beat daycare’s $3,600 rigid frame; 70% of working parents pay more for less flex (Childcare Index, 2023). Dr. Ellen Galinsky murmurs, “Care’s value shines in crisis” (from Mind in the Making). His “overpaid” jab ignored perks—sick days covered, no late fees—daycare’s ills (sickness, fines) prove it. Mom’s $4,300 nursing gig sets her bar; his “privilege” line demeans her sacrifice.
Dr. John Gottman might add, “Respect roots—gripes uproot” (from The Seven Principles). Her “no return” call, a boundary firm—could he have researched first? Should’ve. Now, he fumes, she fights—kids sniffle; costs climb. Readers, was her block too blunt, or his whine too blind?
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Many users hefted her haul, noting his “too much” moan—pre-daycare woes—earned her stance, and that she’d every right to shield Mom when he’d FAFO’d into higher fees. Others cast a tender eye on his gall, saying he’d nix Mom’s retirement for ease—sighing that nanny rates top $4,000 easy. Plenty rallied for her reckoning—stand pat, hike pay, they urged—some flipping it: his mom’s AWOL here. The chorus hummed clear: she’s not the asshole here, but a wife wrestling a husband’s hasty haggle.
This kin cost isn’t just about cash—it’s a fragile weave of duty and dues, where a wife’s line met a husband’s lag. Mom’s care swapped for daycare’s grind—his flip-flop now begs her back, cheap. Was her “nope” too stiff, a shut where talks might’ve swayed? Or did his “simple job”—post-$75 sting—skimp a value she had to vouch?
He grumbles, she guards—home hums harder. What do you tally—did she bar too bold, or he balk too brash? How would you rebalance this tender tally? Share your thoughts, your own echoes of care’s clash, below—let’s sift this steep shift together!
