AITA for hanging up on my family when my sister just had her baby?

Family celebrations are supposed to be moments of joy and togetherness, yet sometimes the sting of exclusion can turn what should be a cherished occasion into a painful reminder of being left out.

In this story, our OP—a 34-year-old who once believed she was close to her sisters—finds herself hurt once again when important family milestones pass her by. Despite years of shared memories and celebrations, repeated instances of exclusion have left her feeling unwanted and isolated, especially during one of the most emotional moments: the birth of her niece or nephew.

On what should have been a day filled with pride and love for her sister’s long-awaited baby, the OP’s joy was quickly overshadowed by a sense of abandonment. When a simple call to share in the family’s joy turned into a painful revelation that she had not been invited to the hospital, the cumulative weight of past exclusions became too much to bear. Unable to hold back her tears and anger, she hung up on her family, marking another painful chapter in a long history of feeling sidelined.

‘AITA for hanging up on my family when my sister just had her baby?’

Family therapist Dr. Danielle Sheypuk explains, “When family members are consistently excluded without explanation, it can cause deep emotional wounds and foster feelings of abandonment.” In situations like this, the repeated omission sends a strong message that your presence is not valued, which can be particularly damaging when it comes from those closest to you. Consistent exclusion not only erodes self-esteem but also undermines trust in the family unit.

Dr. Sheypuk further notes that “open communication is critical. Instead of assuming that you don’t want to be included, it is important for families to explicitly invite all members, acknowledging their importance.”

Lack of communication can make the excluded feel isolated and unappreciated. By addressing these omissions directly—perhaps through a family meeting or mediation—the underlying issues can be acknowledged and potentially resolved. Relationship expert Dr. Emily Waters adds, “Repeatedly being left out can lead to a cycle of emotional withdrawal, where the hurt individual begins to expect neglect, even when it isn’t intentional.”

This emotional distancing can become a protective mechanism, although it ultimately prevents genuine family connection. It’s essential to understand that while external factors like work might sometimes be a valid reason, they should never serve as a blanket excuse to exclude someone consistently.

Experts advise that when your feelings are dismissed with statements like “I’m sorry you feel that way,” it can be a form of gaslighting that minimizes your legitimate hurt. It’s important to assert your emotional needs and consider seeking professional guidance—whether through individual or family therapy—to rebuild trust and improve communication, rather than internalizing the exclusion as your fault.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit community’s overall sentiment is strongly supportive of my feelings. Many commenters pointed out that the repeated exclusions were not isolated incidents, but part of a persistent pattern. They condemned the dismissive “I’m sorry you feel that way” response as classic gaslighting.

A consensus emerged: when you’re repeatedly left out without being asked if you’d like to be involved, your feelings are valid, and it’s reasonable to take steps to protect your emotional well-being. Some advised going low or no contact until your voice is heard.

Ultimately, feeling left out by family is deeply painful and invalidating. While I understand that practical reasons like work might sometimes limit attendance, the consistent pattern of exclusion has taken its toll. My decision to remove myself from the family group chat wasn’t an overreaction—it was a protective measure.

How do you handle situations where you feel systematically excluded by those closest to you? Have you ever felt similarly undervalued, and what steps did you take to address it? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s discuss how to reclaim our sense of belonging without sacrificing our self-worth.