AITA for being rude to my dad after he excluded me from a family vacation?

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In a quiet teenage bedroom, a 15-year-old girl scrolls through social media, her heart sinking as photos of her dad, his girlfriend, and her kids at a festival flash by. Excluded again, she learns he’s now jetting off to Egypt with them, while she’s never shared a vacation with him. His vague excuses—“just tagging along”—sting like sand in the wind, leaving her feeling invisible in his new family.

This poignant tale of a daughter’s hurt captures the ache of being sidelined by a parent’s choices. Her icy silence toward her dad sparks a question: is her anger justified, or should she swallow her pain for peace? It’s a story that resonates with anyone who’s felt pushed aside by family shifts, pulling readers into a debate about loyalty and love.

‘AITA for being rude to my dad after he excluded me from a family vacation?’

I (15F) live with my mum however have always maintained a close relationship with my dad (49M). Three years go he began dating a woman (38F) who has two kids (11M and 7M). I have never liked this woman or her children but have always tried to be civil with them for the sake of my dad's happiness.

Since they began dating they have split up about three or four times and each time they break up my dad insists he hates her and that he won't get back together with her but time and time again I discover that they are back together. The most recent time they split was due to the fact that she doesn't try to include me in anything

and has never in three years tried to make an effort with me but a little over a month ago my dad reveals to me that they are going to a festival together just the two of them as they had won the tickets when they were still together and they were non-refundable; fine whatever, cool.

I come to find from social media that her two children have also gone on the trip so I call my dad and am upset that he didn't tell me that they were going too and he continues to tell me that he didn't not tell me they were coming but he realises that he didn't tell me they were either. The next week he accidentally lets slip that they are in fact back together and it was in fact a family holiday.. ​

Last week my dad told me that he would be joining his girlfriend, her kids, and a few other families they know on a vacation to Egypt. I asked him how this came to be and he told me that the trip was already booked and now that he and his girlfriend were back together they told him that he could join them as there was enough space in the room they had booked.

This seems like yet another lie as he would have to book a plane ticket, get a larger room and tell the hotel that he was coming too among other things and he can't just be 'tagging along', it doesn't work like that. I feel as though him telling me he was just tagging along as there was one extra space is just an excuse as to why he won't bring me with them.

I have been visibly upset and icing him out for the past week but despite a few side eyes from him he hasn't mentioned it.. ​ I feel justified in being angry at my dad but my nan thinks I am being a brat by being rude when he's 'done nothing wrong'. Am I the a**hole?. ​ For context I have never been on vacation with my dad anywhere and I am just upset that he is taking someone else's children on this experience before he has me.. ​

Edit: I don't make a big issue of not liking his girlfriend or the kids but it's just known that they aren't my favourite people in the world, the last time I saw the kids we actually got on quite well.

This vacation snub cuts deeper than a missed trip—it’s about belonging. Family transitions, like a parent’s new relationship, can strain bonds, especially when children feel excluded. A 2021 study in Journal of Family Psychology shows that perceived favoritism or neglect by a parent increases adolescent emotional distress. Here, the dad’s failure to include his daughter, while prioritizing his girlfriend’s kids, signals a shift that leaves her feeling devalued.

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The teen’s anger is valid. Her dad’s lies—claiming he’s “tagging along” when planning was clearly involved—erode trust. His girlfriend’s lack of effort to bond with her, despite three years, compounds the rejection. The grandmother’s dismissal of her feelings as “bratty” ignores the real hurt, a common oversight in blended families, per Family Relations.

Dr. John Gottman, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Trust is built in small moments of connection, not grand gestures” (Gottman Institute). The dad’s secrecy and excuses miss those moments. He should have advocated for his daughter’s inclusion or planned a separate trip with her, especially since they’ve never vacationed together.

A solution starts with honest talk. The teen could express her hurt calmly, asking for a dedicated trip or regular bonding time. The dad must prioritize her, setting boundaries with his girlfriend to ensure inclusion. Family therapy could align their goals, rebuilding trust. For now, the teen’s distance protects her heart, but open dialogue could pave a path back to closeness.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit gang rolled in hot, dishing out support with a side of shade for this family drama. Here’s the unfiltered scoop, brimming with cheers and zingers:

agizzy23 − NTA- people often get “new families” and forget they can’t treat their first kids like crap

stacity − NTA Sorry that he’s excluding you. Please understand that he has this condition where he doesn’t have a spine. Symptoms can include weakness, cowardice and no resolve. That’s why he fails to firmly to include you

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and/or defend you from his malignant mass that’s called girlfriend. In all seriousness, you have so much ahead of you and he will regret not being a father to you especially when you start hitting life’s milestones. He’s taking you for granted when you matter.

GrandpaJoeSloth − NTA- Your father is lying to you, and not even lying well. I'm sorry that he has capitulated to his gf and basically evades you being in his life in a meaningful way. This will likely result in you growing your resentment and eventually going NC with him. In any case, I feel sad for your situation, all the more so because your dad is gutless and cannot even bother to tell you the truth. What a s**tty way to find out that some adults suck.. NTA

Comprehensive_Fly350 − NTA, i'd be way more rude to him actually. I'd go low contact or no contact and kindly invite him to f**k off. One day, when you are older, you'll probably resent him and he will wonder what he did wrong. I don't know if he needs some sense slapped into his face and if it's the case, show him this thread, or if he realise he is a bad father and just doesn't care. Good luck op

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jammy913 − NTA. Tell your nan that it's rude for your dad to go on a family vacation and exclude his child while including children that aren't his, and that you're responding appropriately to his rudeness. I don't blame you for icing him out. He's ruining his relationship with you for a woman he has claimed he hates. How are you SUPPOSED to take it?

FinnMcCoo − NTA - Your father says one thing and does another. Breaks up with his gf because she doesn't include you then takes her back while she still leaves you out. You're his child he should be more concerned with your wellbeing and relationship with each other. I'd say be petty and if you can cut contact for a while so he can either get his head out of his ass or show you he's not worth the time or effort.

Pinkish_Cate − NTA. Since your father always ends up disappointing you, I suggest you go no contact indefinitely. I hope that he can read the sign.

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Givingadvice1256 − NTA: Your father needs to open his eyes. This woman is clearly manipulating him to push away his daughter. If they just broke up for her not including you in things and the first thing they do when they get back together is take a vacation without you then he is part of the issue as well.

If he is playing stepdad with this woman’s children on vacation and not wanting his own daughter to experience Egypt as well then that is on him. He could have advocated for you going, but to save face with a girlfriend he didn’t invite you.

The fact they have also broken up a few times tells all, they should probably STAY broken up. Your dad should look for someone who understands that his child comes before all. Someone who looks out for you as well as your dad. You have every right to be angry.

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little_owl211 − NTA But you do need to talk to him about it and make a decision. Maybe going LC if things get worse, don't keep a relationship (of any kind) if its hurting you.

wb22860 − NTA - I would recommend you telling you dad that you are upset. I also recommend going no contact with him. Some parents, not all of them, can read the clues their children are upset and disappointed in them.

These Redditors rallied behind the teen, blasting the dad’s spinelessness and the girlfriend’s exclusionary vibe. Some urged no contact, others a blunt talk to wake him up. But do these fiery takes capture the whole saga, or are they just fanning the flames?

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This teen’s story of being left out of her dad’s vacation shines a light on the pain of feeling replaced. Her cold shoulder isn’t rudeness—it’s a shield for a broken heart. Families blend best when every kid feels valued, and her dad’s choices missed that mark. As Reddit cheers her on, it’s a reminder to speak up when love feels lopsided. What would you do if a parent’s new family left you on the sidelines? Share your thoughts below!

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