AITA for laughing at my boyfriend’s voice?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a cozy apartment, the glow of a laptop screen once bridged a long-distance romance, but now a startling revelation has left a couple reeling. For two years, a woman thought she knew her boyfriend’s deep, raspy voice—until a three-hour call with his mom unveiled a high-pitched surprise that sounded straight out of a cartoon. Her instinctive laugh turned joy into a cringe-worthy clash.

This isn’t just about a voice; it’s about trust, vulnerability, and the masks we wear in love. The boyfriend’s deception, born from insecurity, collided with her honest reaction, leaving them both questioning their bond. Readers, you’ll feel the sting of this awkward moment and wonder: was her laughter a betrayal, or was his secret the real misstep?

‘AITA for laughing at my boyfriend’s voice?’

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years [23F and 26M] after we met online. We were long distance but he only texted me, and at a point I told him I couldn't continue without a video call to ensure he is who he says. He said he was insecure about his voice on the phone, kept putting it off, until I gave him an ultimatum.

We had our video call, I told him I loved his voice, and we haven't had a problem with calling since. His voice was raspy, like strained vocal cords, so I figured that was why he was self conscious. When I met him it was the same thing. Deep, but raspy and hoarse. It was kinda sexy to me and I made sure he knew so he didn't feel insecure.

After we met, we saw each other every other weekend alternating drives, until we got a place together in my town 6 months ago. He's met my family and friends, I've only met one of his friends because he was his roommate. He says his other friends aren't really close, and he has a strained relationship with his family

His mom has been calling him since he moved, but he always ignores them. I don't want to go into detail why he didn't want to talk with her, but I eventually talked him into giving it a try. Earlier this week he actually took the phone outside and called her back, but asked me for some privacy. They talked for almost 3 hours.

When he finally came in, he looked happy. I asked him how it went, and immediately he answered 'really well!' But... I swear he sounded like a Muppet character. It was NOT my boyfriend's voice by a long shot. He went from a deep, raspy voice to Mickey mouse. I sincerely thought he was joking. So I laughed.

He started a coughing fit, but I thought he was laughing too. Nope. He asked what I was laughing at, and I told him 'whatever that impression was' legitimately thinking he was making some weird joke. The absolute difference in voices made it sound like it was out of a cartoon.

He got pissed at me, went back to his 'regular' gravelly voice I guess and told me his voice cracked from talking too much. Well, today when he was ignoring his mom's phone calls again and when I asked why, he got quiet.

After trying to figure out what was wrong with him, he finally opened up that he's been faking his voice our ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP to the point he believed it. And when he talked to his mom his natural voice just came out, and I embarrassed him.

I...[.] don't know what to think. I both feel like an a**hole for laughing at him, and like it's not my fault that *he* lied about his voice and then randomly went from the Witcher to Sesame Street.

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EDIT: I've been up all night talking with him about this. He keeps going in and out of voices. He admitted to me that all the problems he said about his mom were exaggerated so I wouldn't meet her. Because she'd know it's not his voice and call him out on it.

This voice-swap saga is a quirky yet poignant lesson in authenticity. The boyfriend’s two-year charade of faking a deeper voice stems from deep insecurity, but his secrecy risks trust. Dr. Brene Brown, a vulnerability expert, says, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are” (Brene Brown). His fear of judgment led to a lie that hurt more when exposed.

The girlfriend’s laugh, though unintended, hit a raw nerve. A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association found that 68% of young adults hide aspects of themselves in relationships due to fear of rejection (APA). The boyfriend’s exaggerated stories about his mom to avoid her meeting his family show how far he went to protect his facade. Meanwhile, the girlfriend’s shock was natural—she had no warning of his true voice.

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Her response, while honest, could’ve been softer. Brown’s work suggests vulnerability fosters connection; she could validate his insecurity while addressing the deception. Moving forward, they should discuss why he felt the need to hide and rebuild trust through open talks.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit lit up with a mix of gasps and giggles, from calling the situation “wild” to debating if anyone’s truly at fault. The crowd dished out empathy and a few roasts for the boyfriend’s Muppet moment. Here’s the raw scoop:

stormscaper − NTA, boy’s been faking his voice for 2 years and expects you to know when he brings out his “real” voice. How were you supposed to know that?!

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clbrownn − NTA. This is WILD!. While what he did was absurd, I feel bad for the guy. He walked himself into the worst confirming evidence he could have asked for. He told you he was self conscious, which made you extra complimentary about how much you liked his fake voice,

and then revealed his true voice accidentally after two years in a way that made you laugh. He couldn’t have set this up better to make himself self more self conscious about his voice if he tried. What a boondoggle.

lilykittie − I'm just imaging Geralt making a guest appearance on sesame street. NTA but you should try to find out if he's been lying about anything else

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heatherhobbit − NTA. He’s been purposely lying to you about something so dumb for two years. Is this a guy you really want to be with?. *Edit for typo

Mister_Crowly − This is amazing. NAH I think as long as he's not being a d**k to you about it? You obviously have done nothing wrong at the very least. I think he's probably not an a**hole for faking his own voice. People reinvent themselves to conform to an ideal all the time right?

You can be absolutist about the truth and the masks we all wear if you want, but I think it would result in weird opinions about a lot of things, from fashion to plastic surgery to, hell, going to the gym. I think this is along those kinds of lines rather than intentional and malicious untruthfulness.

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And to be honest, I can sort of see where's he's coming from. I know of a onetime minor internet celebrity who's voice was tragicomically a cartoon character voice. I'd fuckin' hate sounding like that and might honestly try doing a judge dredd impersonation all the time like this dude, lol.

justforthemobile − NTA but s**t man 2 years of faking your voice? Like uncool but the fact that he was THAT insecure I feel like maybe NAH but then I'm like well he could've told you some time during those 2 years...... Which brings us back to NTA

cranky_throw_away − NTA how were you supposed to know he was doing a different voice when he talked to you? You assumed that his natural voice was him trying to make you laugh

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the805daddy − NTA.. how were you supposed to know!? I want to say No A’s Here because he obviously has some DEEP DEE issues with insecurity.. but he also lied and managed to fake a voice for two whole years... But.... wait... if he really believes that’s his voice now, is it his voice? I’m stumped... you should try to make him feel more comfortable about it though.

iBeFloe − NTA. My friend couldn’t date a dude because when she met him (they were talking on tinder for a whole), he sounded like a h**k & very similar to her step-brother. She couldn’t handle his accent despite the guy being very sweet & decided to just be friends.  S**t like that matters sometimes.

People have to get used to it & he didn’t let you get used to it. He let you get shocked. Anyways, this dude is clearly very insecure but starting a relationship & going through it for 2 years lying isn’t how you deal with your insecurities. It makes them worse because your lie blows up in your face... *because you lied*

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biinjo − NTA. He should have shared that eventually with you. What was he expecting? To fake a voice for the rest of his life?

These Redditors cheered the girlfriend’s innocence but raised eyebrows at the boyfriend’s long con. Are their takes spot-on, or just adding fuel to the awkward fire? This voice reveal has everyone talking.

This tale of a voice switch gone wrong shows how insecurity can twist even the smallest truths into big misunderstandings. The girlfriend’s laugh was a reflex, not malice, but the boyfriend’s hidden truth stung deeper. It’s a reminder that love thrives on honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable. Have you ever faced a surprising reveal in a relationship? How would you handle this quirky betrayal? Share your stories below.

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