AITAH for laughing at my crying ex husband and calling his suffering karma?

Sometimes, the consequences of our choices come back around in the most unexpected—and sometimes humorous—ways. In this update, a woman shares the story of when her ex-husband, who divorced her over the issue of having children, showed up at her door in tears. Once a man who vowed not to pursue parenthood, he quickly remarried, got kids, and now finds himself overwhelmed by the challenges of his new life.

When he begged for reconciliation, she couldn’t help but laugh at his misfortune and even call his suffering “karma.” While many might find this reaction harsh, her experience raises deeper questions about accountability, emotional boundaries, and the lasting impact of our decisions.

‘AITAH for laughing at my crying ex husband and calling his suffering karma?’

According to family psychologists, when family conflicts escalate and lead to strong emotional reactions, it is often because personal boundaries have been repeatedly violated. Dr. Brené Brown, an expert on vulnerability and shame, says that “vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but rather the source of courage and change.” In this story, the ex-husband’s response—with tears and pleas to be taken back—reflected a series of unresolved issues and repeated disrespect. Rather than succumb to the situation, the woman in the story chose to laugh and say that what he was going through was “karma” for her poor decisions.

Experts recommend that when a person’s boundaries are repeatedly violated—such as by not taking responsibility for their children or not handling financial matters properly—it is time to set clear and consistent limits to protect themselves and those around them. While the ex-husband’s actions may have been excessive in that he acknowledged his mistakes and asked for forgiveness, the woman’s response was rooted in long-term hurt and frustration at the consequences of his decisions.

In complex family relationships, open and frank dialogue after tense moments can help people acknowledge their mistakes and rebuild trust together. While laughing at someone else’s misfortune is not always a positive way to handle it, in this case it also indirectly reflects that the consequences of poor decisions are “payback” that they must bear. This can be a reminder that every action has consequences, and it is each person’s responsibility to face and accept those results.

With such family conflicts, experts say that while losing your temper is not ideal, it is a natural response when someone has been pushed to their limit. The lesson here is that it is necessary to learn how to set clear boundaries, as well as seek support from family counselors to resolve conflicts constructively and limit long-term emotional damage.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s response to this update was swift and unequivocal. One commenter observed, “He does realize that divorcing his wife doesn’t erase his responsibility for his kids, right?” while another added, “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” Many Redditors felt that her ex-husband’s actions—ranging from his selfish decision to leave a stable marriage to his neglect of his responsibilities—are exactly what led to his current predicament. Several users supported the idea that his suffering is a natural consequence, with comments like, “Karma is a bitch, and you’re not obligated to fix what you helped break.”

Conversely, a few voices raised concerns about laughing at someone’s pain, arguing that while his decisions were undoubtedly misguided, responding with ridicule might not foster the empathy needed for real change. However, the overwhelming sentiment was that he is to blame for his own downfall, and the ex-wife’s reaction, though blunt, was understandable given her long history of being hurt by his choices.

Ultimately, this story isn’t just about one man’s breakdown—it’s about the long-lasting effects of decisions made without regard for others. While laughing at an ex-husband’s suffering might seem callous, it also serves as a stark reminder that our actions have consequences.

What do you think? Are there moments when “karma” is a justifiable response, or should we always strive for empathy even when facing hurtful behavior? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. How do you balance accountability with compassion when someone’s decisions have hurt you?

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One Comment

  1. IMO you are both TA. Peoples wants and needs change in relationships especially something as big as wanting to have children i.e. starting a family. Imagine dying with no family around you spouse is already dead and you didn’t have kids might seem like a selfish idea but at the end of the day no one wants to go out to alone. Regardless of what happens he needs to realise that no matter what he has to take care of his children, I would suggest a divorce from the new wife as I don’t think there’s any respect there. A fresh start is what’s needed and he would have to seek part time custody of his children through the courts. I understand how hard it would’ve been on the first wife to have a marriage fall apart over something she never would’ve thought come up again but like I already said needs and wants change in relationships it’s just unfortunate in this case it was something so big like having children. That said the way she treated him at his lowest when everything had fallen apart was playing vindictive and spiteful. Honestly, in this case, there are no winners and I hope the best for the kids.