AITA for not sharing what I wrote in my family therapy journal with my dad and stepmom and for what I wrote in there?

In a cozy therapist’s office, a teenager pours their heart into a journal, grappling with the ache of a mother lost too soon. Family therapy was meant to bridge gaps between the teen, their dad, and stepmom, but instead, it’s become a battleground. The teen’s private words—raw thoughts of missing their mom and imagining her in life’s big moments—were never meant for others’ eyes. Yet, a breach of trust turned those pages into a family feud.

When the dad and stepmom snooped through the journal, they didn’t find rebellion—just a child’s grief. Their anger and accusations of cruelty only deepened the rift, leaving the teen as “public enemy number one.” This story dives into the messy clash of loss, privacy, and forced bonds, pulling readers into a drama where love and pain collide. Can a family heal when trust is shattered?

‘AITA for not sharing what I wrote in my family therapy journal with my dad and stepmom and for what I wrote in there?’

Started family therapy with my dad and stepmom almost a year ago. The therapist is great. She does individual with me once a week and we see her as a group once a week as well. Session one she gave us a diary each to write in every week and for us to discuss with her/the group if we want after. I never share what I write with them.

I do share with the therapist. We talk about it a lot. A couple of weeks back I had filled the original diary she gave me so she found another one for me. My dad and stepmom wanted to hear what I wrote but I said I didn't want to share it with them.

For context: I lost my mom when I was 8. Parents were divorced. Dad was dating her at the time but I met her like 5 weeks after I lost my mom. Dad moved the relationship along really fast so I would have another mom. I told him I wouldn't accept another mom. He told me I would see, that it would be so easy.

A little over a year later they had a baby together and then another and another and another. From the time the first baby was born they have mentioned adopting me, when I wouldn't go along with that and they were told it was a no go without my being on board by some lawyers,

they had her become my legal guardian and set it up so she would get me if dad died, and they have enforced that I must spend at least 6 hours of my week doing some bonding time with her, as a way to push past the distance I keep from her as a mother figure.

So in my diary I have wrote how I wish my mom was there for stuff instead of her. How sometimes I close my eyes when something special is happening in my life and in my head I swap my stepmom out for my mom, and I imagine the conversation mom and I would have had or what she would say to me in the moment.

I write about that a lot. And how growing up without a mom sucks. How not having a mom as a teenager is rough as hell. Then we discuss it. The therapist was mostly concerned with the upset I feel when I swap them out in my head and then have to face reality, so we're working on that.

Anyway, my dad and stepmom, saying they were 'concerned they were left in the dark about something important' rooted through my stuff, found the therapy diary and read the whole thing. Then they got so mad. They asked how I could be so cruel. How I could dismiss her so easily.

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To say I grew up without a mom when my stepmom is right there, doing all the mother things. Then it became how that was important to share with them in therapy so we could fix it. They ended up lashing out at the therapist and they are now refusing to use her services again. They are looking for someone new. While I am public enemy number one.. AITA?

This teen’s journal saga is a stark reminder that grief doesn’t follow a family’s script. The OP’s private writings—yearning for their late mother and rejecting a forced maternal role for their stepmom—are a natural response to loss at a young age. The dad and stepmom’s invasion of the journal and subsequent outrage reveal their own failure to respect the teen’s emotional boundaries.

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Grief in blended families can be a minefield. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found 60% of stepfamilies face challenges integrating new parental roles, often due to unmet expectations (source). The dad’s push to replace the OP’s mom with their stepmom, ignoring the teen’s protests, set the stage for resentment. Reading the journal was a gross violation of trust.

Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, says, “Forcing a stepparent-child bond often backfires. Kids need space to grieve and define relationships on their terms” (source). The OP’s fantasy of swapping their stepmom for their mom is a coping mechanism, not cruelty. The parents’ reaction—firing the therapist—shows they’re dodging accountability.

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The OP should seek support from a trusted adult, like a school counselor, to continue therapy independently. They can calmly tell their parents the journal was private and their feelings are valid. Setting firm boundaries, like securing personal items, is key.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit gang showed up with virtual hugs and fiery clapbacks, ready to defend the OP’s right to grieve. It’s like a group therapy session where everyone’s got the teen’s back. Here’s the unfiltered pulse from the crowd:

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TheExaltedNoob − NTA, but i think your therapist could confirm that way better than strangers on aita. Seems like they are not actually taking the therapy seriously, just seeking peace of mind for their bad behaviour.

ghostofumich2005 − iscuss with her/the group ***if we want*** after. Sharing was not a requirement and never should have been. You are entitled to have private thoughts.. how that was important to share with them in therapy so we could fix it.. By fit it they mean learn how to make you fall in line, and faster than it is happening.. They are looking for someone new. By someone new they mean someone who will do what they want, not what is needed.. NTA

navoor − NTA- I am sorry about everything. You didn't mention your age? Your parents have no right to read your personal stuff. And they can't impose a 'Mom' on you when you are not ready to replace your real mom. Your step mom can have her own place in your life,

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you can still love her without replacing your mom. I just don't understand step parents' obsession to replace the bio parents. You are entitled to have your feelings and emotions and your parents have absolutely no right to blame you for that.

panzer8time − NTA. Therapy is an extremely private thing. Your parents have no business with it whatsoever. The backlash was totally justified, and if they can't cope with that, not your problem in the slightest. I strongly suggest you to consider removing toxic individuals from your relationship sphere, being parents or whatnot.

NUT-me-SHELL − NTA. Your mother isn’t replaceable no matter how much your dad and his wife want to pretend she is. You are entitled to your feelings, to your privacy, and to receiving professional help to navigate your feelings. Period.

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ResponseMountain6580 − Your dad and stepmom are really clueless. If they hadn't pushed and pushed all this time and tried to force a relationship, you'd have one now. Not a replacement for your mom, but your stepmom could have been important to you.

Instead they pushed it to the point where you have no relationship with your stepmom and ruined the relationship with your dad.. People may disagree with me, but I am not convinced you need therapy.. Your parents are the ones who need to change, not you. They won't.

Its normal for you to miss your mom. There is nothing wrong with you. Your parents must don't like it that you won't do what they want.. Maybe you can find someone to talk to at school without your parents involved.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your dad and step mom had no busy going through your stuff, reading your diary. Shame on them. You did nothing wrong with not sharing that information with them. Let them continue to be mad. It doesn’t matter what therapist they get, it won’t change how you feel. They’re only making you shut down and not feel comfortable writing in a diary again.

Snoo_7492 − NYA. They violated trust, and are in the wrong. It seems you do harbor quite a bit of resentment, but it is understandable, due to the way they are forcing the relationship. All their efforts will fail, you cannot and should not be forced to replace your mom in this way.

I hope there is some way that you are able to retain your therapist. I am in the dark about your options, but hopefully you can make a petition to continue your therapy. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I'll give them the benefit of doubt as to having good intentions,

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but they have massively failed you. I hope there is an adult you can reach out to because it sounds like this will ramp up into truly unpleasant territory for your home life.. Please reach out to someone- the therapist, another relative or maybe a teacher for assistance. Good luck.

pinkie18 − NTA - they screwed up from the very beginning and set a bad tone for any positive relationship to form naturally. They didn’t respect the therapy process or your boundaries. I hope the next therapist is able to get through to them and give you coping skills for this situation.

Ok_Knee1216 − While you are dealing with all this, take some time and see if:. You can get a counselor at school.. Questions to ask them:. 1. Can they help you source a free therapist?. 2. Can they help with Mentoring? If not,. 3. Can they find programs that have mentors available for careers?. 4. Can they find a good peer counseling group for you?. Start with anyone of these, and keep searching.

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When I was 26, my nextdoor neighbor was 72. She said she would be there for me, and we spent as much time together as possible.. My family was toxic and I had to leave them behind for my sanity.She didn't replace them, she added to my life. She was very different from my family,

and some lessons I learned took decades for me to understand. (My family was wealthy and never shared. She was on a fixed income and constantly gave money to organizations, leaving her barely enough to live on. She was happy. My family were not.) If you feel like you can and want to make it on your own, you could look into emancipation, however Please, please continue your education! You will need that to support you.

These Redditors slammed the parents’ overreach, cheering the OP’s resilience while urging them to seek new support. Some see the dad and stepmom as clueless, others as controlling. But do these takes capture the full weight of grief, or just fuel the fire?

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This story of a teen’s private grief exposed and weaponized is a gut-punch to anyone who’s ever guarded their heart. The OP’s courage in writing their truth, despite family pressure, shines through. It’s a stark lesson in respecting boundaries and the messy reality of blended families. What would you do if your private thoughts were invaded by family? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo alive.

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