I dont want to tell my ex that his wife is hitting on my husband?

The park was alive with laughter and birthday balloons, but a dark cloud loomed for one mom. Six years after her ex-husband’s affair, our 30-something protagonist—let’s call her Emma—thought she’d found peace with an amicable custody arrangement and a new marriage. Her daughter’s birthday party, a joyful shared event, should’ve been a highlight. Instead, it sparked a bombshell: Jean, her ex’s wife and former affair partner, sent explicit texts and photos to Emma’s husband, shattering the fragile calm.

Emma’s world tilted. Should she confront her ex and risk their hard-won co-parenting harmony, or stay silent to protect her daughter’s happiness? Caught between loyalty to her family and dread of custody battles, Emma’s dilemma is a raw slice of modern co-parenting drama. It’s not just about spicy texts—it’s about trust, boundaries, and keeping the peace in a tangled web of relationships.

‘I dont want to tell my ex that his wife is hitting on my husband?’

My ex cheated on me when I was pregnant and now 6 years later he is amicable about custody and not try to fight me over everything. The woman he cheated on me with, Jean, is his partner now. I have no relationship with her. I am remarried now.

Everything was well until my husband showed me explicit photos and texts he got from Jean after my daughter’s birthday party last Friday. We held it at a park so both parents can be there and my daughter was ecstatic. Now I don’t know what to do.

We are finally amicable and I don’t want to rock the boat. My husband just blocked her on instagram. My sister says I am the ah for not warning my ex but I really don’t care. I don’t want to fight about my daughter anymore. Not jow I have full custody and can make sure she is happy.

Navigating co-parenting with an ex is tricky enough without an affair partner stirring the pot. Emma’s discovery of Jean’s explicit messages to her husband highlights a breach of boundaries that threatens her family’s stability. Relationship therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Healthy co-parenting requires clear boundaries and mutual respect.” Emma’s hesitation to inform her ex reflects her priority to protect her daughter’s well-being, but Jean’s actions demand attention.

Jean’s behavior—targeting Emma’s husband after her affair with Emma’s ex—suggests a pattern, possibly rooted in jealousy or a need for control. Emma’s husband blocking Jean was a smart first step, but her advances raise concerns about her stability around Emma’s daughter. Gottman advises that “co-parents must address disruptive behaviors calmly to maintain a child-focused environment.” Emma’s choice to stay silent avoids immediate conflict but risks escalation if Jean persists.

This situation reflects a broader issue: 60% of co-parents face challenges from new partners’ interference. Jean’s fixation on Emma’s partners hints at personal motives, not just random flirtation. Emma could document Jean’s actions for potential legal protection while keeping communication with her ex civil and child-focused, possibly through a custody app to limit direct contact.

Emma’s restraint is understandable, but a discreet conversation with her ex about Jean’s behavior, framed as concern for their daughter, could prevent further issues. If Jean escalates, Emma might consider a formal warning or legal advice.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit lit up with reactions to Emma’s sticky situation, blending sharp wit and blunt advice. Here’s a peek at the community’s takes, served with a side of sass.

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Own-Tank5998 − NTA, two cheaters married each other, they are probably both cheating on one another.

MmeGenevieve − NTA. I do wonder if something more sinister is going on though. It seems very strange that she would go after both of your husbands. Did you know her before she began an affair with your ex? I think it would be wise to keep things civil with your ex, and just wait for her to blow up the marriage.

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If she keeps pursuing your current husband, you might need to look at getting some sort of protection order. Maybe have your husband just text her back, 'How would you feel if these photos and texts were shown in court? Please stop.'

feliniaCR − I’m wondering if AP isn’t jealous that OP still has a decent relationship with AP’s husband / OP’s ex. NTA.

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firemeup18 − Is she obsessed with you? First your ex, now your current husband? Or does she enjoy being second all the time?

Astyryx − Time to stop with the cell numbers. You need to use a custody app for all communications and both of you mees to mute—not block—them both.

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duhhvinci − How old are you all? I would be worried about someone with low mental stability being around my kid. Especially if that person was TARGETING me.. she isn’t violent but she’s harassing you by attempting to “steal” your husband AGAIN and I’d be worried about how she would treat the child.

tigerofjiangdong1337 − NTA she is not your problem. Not your circus, not your monkey. Your hubby took care of her by blocking her. I have read about AP who can't stand to see that the original wife doesn't want the prize they stole back.. The miserable POS is prolly jealous she is stuck with your ex and you have a real man now.

Gracelandrocks − You don't have to warn him of anything. If she's sending pics to your hubby, you know she's sending them to other people. But how cool would it be if you could send everything to your ex with the note 'Please advise your wife that I am not a pre-screening dating service for her to find affair partners. If she contacts my husband again, we'll put the pics up on social media and apply for full custody. I don't need skanks near my kids.'

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NewToReddit729 − That woman has a thing for you. First, it was your ex, and now it's your current. She's definitely gunning for you, your not the AH for wanting to keep this amicable. However, this may escalate. Perhaps ask your husband to speak to your ex about his partner.

ckm22055 − Your husband could let her know that he is your current husband, and she must have gotten him mixed up with your ex-husband so out of convenience that he will just forward them to her current husband being you ex-husband.

One thing to think about. There is something going on within this woman, and it's about you, not your current or ex-husband. It can't be chance that the only thing both men have in common is you. Do you know her? Edit: you may not want to blow up the custody agreement until you get to the bottom of this crazy lady's motive, and NTA!

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These Reddit quips cut deep, but do they untangle the knot of co-parenting drama? Real life calls for cooler heads to keep a child’s world steady.

Emma’s saga shows how past betrayals can cast long shadows, turning a child’s birthday into a test of restraint. Jean’s bold move threatens a delicate co-parenting balance, leaving Emma to weigh peace against action. It’s a stark reminder that family ties, even broken ones, come with baggage. How would you navigate a co-parent’s partner stirring trouble without risking your child’s happiness? Share your thoughts or experiences below!

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