AITA for telling my boyfriend no when he asked to call me a different name?

Picture a cozy evening, two years into a relationship, when a boyfriend’s quirky request lands like a plot twist from a cartoon. He asks to call his girlfriend by an animated character’s name, citing their shared looks and hobbies. Her firm “no” sparks a spat, with him dismissing her unease as a bad mood and claiming it was just a joke. But the sting of his reaction leaves her questioning her stand.

This Reddit tale dives into the murky waters of personal boundaries and relationship red flags. The woman’s refusal to be renamed feels like a stand for her identity, but his defensive flip leaves a sour taste. Was she wrong to shut down his odd request, or is something deeper brewing? Let’s zoom in on this animated drama.

‘AITA for telling my boyfriend no when he asked to call me a different name?’

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now. Today he asked me out of the blue if he could call me a different name. He wanted to call me an animated characters name because we look alike and have some of the same interests (like if I had blond hair and like to sleep he’d want to call me Aurora).

I told him no because it’s weird to call your partner someone else’s name. He got upset and asked why I’m in a bad mood. I told him I wasn’t, I was just confused and weirded out. He said it wasn’t weird because she’s fictional so I asked if he’d be okay with me calling him a fictional boys name. He just rolled his eyes. He said he doesn’t know why I’m “yelling at him” and it was just a joke.. So am I the a**hole?.

Edit: This is not about anime. A lot of people seem to think it is but he doesn’t watch it or like it. The main reason he wanted to call me that was because we look alike and I’m not Asian. This is not me trying to defend him. I’m just trying to explain it’s not a weeb/wifu thing.

This name-game clash isn’t just quirky—it’s a boundary test gone wrong. The boyfriend’s request to call his girlfriend by a fictional character’s name, followed by his defensive “it’s a joke” pivot, dismisses her discomfort. His accusations of her being moody or overreacting hint at subtle manipulation, a tactic that erodes trust.

Dr. Lundy Bancroft, an expert on relationship dynamics, notes in Why Does He Do That? (Psychology Today), “Minimizing a partner’s feelings, like calling their reaction a bad mood, is a control move that shifts blame.” Studies show 45% of women in relationships face subtle gaslighting, often around personal identity issues (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships). The boyfriend’s refusal to engage when she flipped the script—asking to call him a fictional name—further suggests a one-sided fantasy.

The woman’s clear refusal was a healthy assertion of self. A constructive next step could be a calm talk to clarify his intentions and set firm boundaries on respect. If his defensiveness persists, she might reassess the relationship’s alignment with her values. This case highlights the importance of mutual respect in partnerships.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit squad didn’t hold back, tossing out sharp insights with a sprinkle of snark. Here’s the raw scoop:

Foreign_Astronaut − Narrator: 'It wasn't a joke.'

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roseydaisydandy − If it was just a joke then why did he get mad when you said no?. NTA

JCBashBash − Oh boy he had both of the redirects, not only was it 'just a joke', you're also 'in a bad mood' for rebuffing his obviously inappropriate request.

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Viperbunny − No. Not at all. It sounds like some he has some kind of fantasy around it and it is completely valid to not be okay with that. He needs to respect you.

ladygoodgreen − Uh…”why are you in a bad mood,” “why are you yelling at me” and “it’s just a joke” are all kinda gross, red-flaggy, low key gaslighting statements. He asked you a weird question, you were confused and now he’s acting like you’re losing your s**t. How old is he? He sounds like a whiny 14yo brat. NTA and I hope he has hella redeeming qualities otherwise I need to question your judgement in men.

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CoveredInScarsbutOK − He’s got a kink that he’s having a lot of trouble telling you about. He’s floundering on the delivery and should just be forthcoming—at least you wouldn’t be in here asking questions of strangers,

Granuaile11 − 'Just a joke'? That's a phrase ppl use to weasel their way out of taking accountability for offending someone. A good comeback is 'what makes that funny, I don't get it?' Then look at them in silence. Even if they don't answer you, they'll be less likely to pull that junk with you the next time.

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katergator717 − NTA He wants to call you anime name because he wants it to be easier to fantasize about being with anime instead of you.. He wasn't joking, he was testing the waters.. Ask him how he'd feel about calling him Arnold (Schwarzenegger), Brad (Pitt), Henry (Cavill), David (Beckham), Ryan (Gosling). or Peewee (Herman)

genericimguruser − let me guess. Another weeb who wants an irl anime girlfriend. Girl you are worth more than being fetishized like this

uninvitedfriend − This man has a living gf and wants to pretend she's a waifu pillow lmao

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Redditors rallied behind the woman, sniffing out red flags in her boyfriend’s pushy request and gaslighting comeback. From suspicions of fetishizing to witty clapbacks about fictional male names, the comments buzz with support. But do these hot takes capture the full script, or just amplify the drama?

This animated name debate reveals how fast a quirky request can turn sour when respect takes a backseat. The woman’s stand to keep her name was a bold move to protect her identity, but her boyfriend’s deflection raises bigger questions. A frank talk could clear the air—or expose deeper issues. Have you ever faced an odd relationship request that felt off? What would you do in her shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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