AITA for ignoring someone after they ghosted me on my wedding day?

The morning of her February wedding, a 23-year-old bride buzzed with nerves and excitement, expecting her friend Mary to arrive with makeup brushes in tow. Their rekindled high school friendship, strengthened by shared post-grad struggles, felt like the perfect foundation for Mary’s offer to glam her up for the big day. But as the clock ticked past the promised hour, Mary’s silence left the bride scrambling, her special moment tinged with confusion and hurt.

That silence stretched for months until Mary popped back up with casual snaps and memes, acting as if she hadn’t vanished on the bride’s most important day. The bride’s choice to ignore her sparked a Reddit storm, with updates revealing Mary’s personal struggles. This tale of broken promises and unspoken apologies dives into the messy heart of friendship, trust, and wedding-day chaos.

‘AITA for ignoring someone after they ghosted me on my wedding day?’

This girl, we'll call her Mary (23ish?) has been a good friend of mine(23F) since high school. We lost touch for a few years but have reconnected over the last year. It was one of those friendships where it picked up where it left off and even got stronger! We've been through so many similar situations since graduating and it made our bond so much stronger.

She called when I announced my engagement and she congratulated me and offered to do my make-up. I never really do my make-up but I did want it for my wedding day and she's pretty great at it so I accepted her offer and told her the wedding was in 3 weeks. She texted me the day of the wedding saying she was going to be at my house in an hour.

wesome. 2 hours later she's not there, she's not texting or calling back. I texted her saying that I hoped she was ok but I was gonna have to leave or I was gonna be late and I never heard anything. I got married in February. Just last week she send me a snap talking about her day and whatnot and I just closed it without responding.

She's still reaching out on different platforms but she hasn't mentioned ghosting me or apologized, it's always just a funny meme or commenting on my posts. I have heard from a friend her grandfather passed away but I'm not sure if it correlated with my wedding day or not.

I don't want to be the one to initiate this conversation. I feel like she should know what she did and should bring it up first.. AITA for ignoring her until I receive an explanation/apology? 

Mary’s no-show on her friend’s wedding day, followed by casual re-engagement, is a masterclass in friendship missteps. Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, host of The Modern Etiquette podcast, stresses, “If you commit to a role in someone’s milestone event, follow through or communicate immediately if you can’t”. Mary’s failure to text even a brief explanation left the bride in a lurch, understandably wounding their bond.

This drama taps into a broader issue: the fragility of rekindled friendships under pressure. A 2022 YouGov poll found 61% of Americans have lost touch with a close friend, often due to miscommunication or unmet expectations. Mary’s ghosting, later tied to her grandfather’s death and mental health struggles, reflects how personal crises can derail commitments. Yet, her delay in apologizing amplified the bride’s hurt, making her silence feel dismissive.

Gottsman’s advice highlights the need for prompt, honest communication, especially in high-stakes moments like weddings. The bride’s initial instinct to ignore Mary was a natural response to betrayal, but her later outreach showed maturity. Mary’s eventual explanation crippling anxiety and embarrassment—offers context but doesn’t erase the need for accountability. Both women’s hesitation to confront the issue prolonged their pain, a common trap in friendships.

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To mend such rifts, Gottsman suggests a direct but kind conversation to clear the air. The bride’s openness to closure, even if the friendship fades, is a healthy step. For readers in similar situations, addressing hurt head-on can prevent lingering resentment. This story reminds us that friendships, like weddings, thrive on trust and tough talks.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s take on this wedding-day ghosting was nearly unanimous: the bride isn’t the jerk. Commenters slammed Mary’s disappearance as inconsiderate, noting that even a family emergency warranted a quick text. Her casual reappearance without an apology struck many as tone-deaf, with users urging the bride to prioritize her own peace.

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Some suggested a direct confrontation for closure, while others backed the bride’s choice to ignore Mary entirely. The consensus? Mary’s actions, intentional or not, breached friendship basics, leaving the bride justified in her silence until an explanation surfaced.

karrroo - NTA-like at all, even if something happened to her on the day of the wedding she should have let you know, that’s just really inconciderate of her. I would just keep ignoring her, she doesn’t seem like a great friend if she still hasn’t reached out and explained herself

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SpawnRushed - NTA: She could have told you she had a family emergency if that were the case. You don't tell someone you'll be there in an hour ON THEIR WEDDING DAY, and go ghost, then proceed to play it off like nothing happened.. If her grandparent did die, she could have told you and I'm sure you'd understand.

All_Alone_Ali - Um NTA. wtf leaving a bride stranded without a makeup artist on her wedding day?? It sounds like she’s not a professional MUA but she committed to you. Even if my grandpa was actively dying, I’d take three seconds to send a text saying I can’t make it and why.. Also how tone deaf that she thinks she can tag you and comment on things without an apology.

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Lentilfairy - NTA. But for your own mental health, i would consider just asking her and express your hurt if she keeps sending you memes and funny quotes.

[Reddit User] - NTA! Such a s**tty thing of her to do.

skeletonbadge - NTA. She made a commitment that she failed to go through with. If she didn't want to do your makeup in the first place, she should have just said so.

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SeemsOddAnyway - NTA. What she did is a pretty big a**hole move. Even if her grandfather literally died on your wedding day, all she had to do was tell you that and you would have understood.

[Reddit User] - NTA, it’s weird that she said she’d be there in an hour to do your makeup on your wedding day and just never show up or say anything about it. It’s not normal, i’d just ignore her. That’s not how a friend acts.

henchwench89 - NTA she stood you up on your wedding day. Her doing your makeup makes it so much worse Even if her grandfather literally died and she was told as she left the house it would have taken a minute to call and let you know

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Cloud9cali - NTA, she offered. That was a very important day for you. If her grandfather did pass in that hour after you confirmed she was coming, I might excuse her. I'm doubting that is the case and she could have called.

This wedding-day debacle weaves a poignant tale of friendship tested by silence and misunderstanding. The bride’s journey from hurt to outreach, met with Mary’s belated remorse, underscores the power of communication to heal or end bonds. Have you ever been let down by a friend on a big day? Share your experiences below and let’s unpack this emotional rollercoaster!

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