AITA for kicking a bridesmaid out of our wedding after she tried to come between my husband and I?

In a sunlit living room, a bride-to-be sips coffee with her friend Abby, laughing over wedding plans and their shared love for Abby’s daughter, the flower girl. But beneath the smiles, a storm brews. Abby’s resentment over her ex’s wedding invite festers, erupting into a betrayal that threatens to unravel the bride’s joy. A single text—laced with lies—turns a trusted friend into a foe, forcing the bride to draw a line in the sand.

This Reddit saga crackles with the drama of loyalty tested and boundaries crossed. As the bride navigates Abby’s manipulative tactics, she faces a heart-wrenching choice: preserve a friendship or protect her future. It’s a story that hooks readers, sparking debates about trust, weddings, and the true colors friends reveal when the stakes are high.

‘AITA for kicking a bridesmaid out of our wedding after she tried to come between my husband and I?’

My husband has a friend (33, M). They met at an old job and the friend 'Mike' even had my husband as his best man when he got married to 'Abby' (30, F). After Mike and Abby had a baby, things went down hill and they got divorced.

Things are still tense between Mike and Abby but my husband has remained neutral and tried to be there for the baby at the very least. Abby and I hit it off pretty quickly when we met. The daughter became a niece to me as well. Abby even housesat for us on occasion.

Knowing the history and relationship with my husband and Mike, she knew Mike would be invited to our wedding. She wasn't fond of it but she seemed to respect our decision. After we got engaged, I asked her to be a bridesmaid and the daughter to be our flower girl.

Both were very excited about it. Knowing that weddings were still a sensitive subject with Abby, I let her know that if she felt like she had to back out, I understood and we would still be friends. A few months later though, Abby started getting more upset that he would be invited to the wedding.

Knowing that Mike probably wouldn't be able to make it due to his work schedule, we assured her that he wouldn't be coming but he was still due an invite. One day, we mentioned the daughter being our flower girl to Mike and he was surprised. We had assumed that he already knew.

I texted Abby right away to let her know that he now knew but I thought it was weird that it hadn't been brought up yet. She responded with 'Is he invited to the wedding?'. She knew he was. That had never changed. I answered 'Yes, you knew that already though.' She didnt respond that night.

The next morning we received a group text from her to my husband and I telling us that she wouldn't be attend our wedding because he was invited. Also, that she couldn't believe we would do this to her and she could no longer be friends with us because 'true friends would not put her in such a horrible situation.'

I told her that I respected her decision not to come to the wedding but tried to encourage her that we could still be friends. At first, I thought she was just projecting her hurt from the divorce and that she would come around.

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The next day she privately texted my husband that I had told her that I didnt love him anymore, apologized to him for having to back out, for not being able to be there for him, and that he deserved so much better than me. He told her that she needed to apologize to me.

At that point, I had had enough. I told her she had crossed too many lines and to send back our house key because she was no longer welcome in our house or around us. She did send the key back, addressed only to my husband

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and our past Christmas cards, everything in the bridesmaid proposal box and a paper revealing a surprise for my upcoming bridal shower. All I was doing was honoring my husbands request that HIS friend be invited to the wedding. AITA for kicking her out?

This tale burns with the sting of betrayal dressed as friendship. OP’s decision to invite Mike, her husband’s friend, was a nod to loyalty, but Abby’s reaction spiraled into manipulation, threatening the couple’s bond.

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Abby’s lie to OP’s husband—that OP no longer loved him—was a calculated move to sow discord. Her actions reflect post-divorce bitterness, using the wedding as a stage to project her pain. A 2023 study shows 45% of divorced individuals struggle with co-parenting conflicts, often spilling into social circles. Abby’s refusal to respect boundaries, despite OP’s clear communication, escalated the rift.

Relationship expert Dr. Shirley Glass warns, “Dishonesty, even under the guise of protecting feelings, erodes trust”. Abby’s text crossed a line, undermining OP’s relationship. OP’s response—cutting ties—was firm but fair, prioritizing her marriage. The broader issue is navigating friendships post-divorce. A 2021 Pew study notes 62% of couples face tension when balancing loyalties.

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OP could secure her wedding with passwords for vendors, as suggested online, and lean on supportive friends. Her decisiveness protects her peace, and readers will likely applaud her for standing tall against drama.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit posse rolled in with pitchforks and popcorn, serving up a fiery mix of support and snark. Here’s the raw buzz from the crowd, dripping with wit and wisdom:

divinerosekeeper − NTA—you absolutely communicated with her the whole way through it seems. It’s one thing for Abby to not come to the wedding if she can’t stand to be near Mike. But giving ultimatums is too far and selfish

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Also, texting your husband that you don’t love him after not getting what she wanted is just absolutely unhinged. And sending back Christmas cards and ruining your bachelorette surprise? Homegirl needs to grow up.

ocdante − NTA and honestly, you dodged not a bullet but a g**damn grenade here -She tried multiple times to manipulate you by insisting she didn’t know about Mike even though you told her point blank MULTIPLE TIMES. -She tried to put a wedge between you and your husband by insinuating you don’t truly love him. -She spoiled to you your bridal shower SURPRISE

Careful-Listen2277 − NTA. She was definitely trying to ruin your marriage. Messaging your husband and lying about you behind your back, saying that you didn't love him anymore and that she wanted to comfort him?!! Like who says that to someone whose about to get married?!

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It sounds like she was also attempting to have an affair to, just to get back at all of you. Your husband, for inviting her ex, aka his friend, and you for not disagreeing to it. So she wanted everyone to be upset and bitter like her. If she can't be in a relationship, no one can.

BertTheNerd − NTA. She went nuclear after not getting what she wanted. And I fear, this may not be the end. Take some precautions for the wedding, bc this woman is not reasonable anymore and her actions are only to hurt you.

Invest some money in new locks and door cams and inform the wedding crew, bc there was stories about ppl canceling things from revenge.. ETA:. so, i will make here a small list of necessary precautions:. 1) Protect your home, invest in locks and cams.

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This is not much money, but definitely worth it. 2) Protect your wedding, inform every institution involved from the wedding site till the bakery , make a password (thank you u/momghoti) 3) Protect your friend and family circle.

You know about the message she sent to your husband. What could she send to your mother, your boss, your other friends? Talk with them, ask them and inform them.. She is in a revenge mode, people are not reasonable while doing it.

Appropriate-Piglet87 − nta, she tried to make trouble. I see why her marriage failed.

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Particular-Pain-4666 − NTA. I guess that's why Mike got out when he could.

[Reddit User] − NTA, I swear people always show their true colours as your wedding approaches. She is not your friend. Consider this a blessing and let this one go.

Zillah-The-Broken − NTA. she was extremely manipulative with that text to your husband, and it all backfired into her face.

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Old-Cry- − NTA. OP, I'm in dangerous territory here but now you know why she is divorced. She has shown her true colours and you must believe her. She told your husband that you don't love him, she is twisted and the embodiment of evil.

She is also jealous of you, misery loves company and she wants to be as miserable and bitter as she is. She was clearly never your friend, I say it plenty in this sub, but it's true. You kept her well informed and were very considerate of her disposition.

She is way out of line, what she did sending a message to your husband behind your back, what if he believed her? She is also playing the victim poor her, never ever let her back into your life or house. She is very destructive and she has a bigger problem than her ex being at the wedding, it's deeper than that. This is a hill to die on and you are 100% NTA.

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lumi94 − This seems like a story thats been going around for years.

Redditors hailed OP’s backbone, slamming Abby’s manipulative antics and petty stabs, like returning Christmas cards. Some warned of further revenge, urging wedding precautions. But do these spicy takes capture the full vibe, or are they just fanning the flames?

This story is a stark reminder that weddings can expose cracks in even the tightest friendships. OP’s choice to boot Abby wasn’t just about a guest list—it was about guarding her love and peace. By setting firm boundaries, she reclaimed her day, but the fallout stings. Have you ever had to cut a friend loose to protect your happiness? Share your stories below—what’s the line between loyalty and self-preservation?

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