AITA for telling my ex-girlfriend I won’t help her until we do a DNA test?

A 25-year-old man is now facing harsh judgment and internal conflict after telling his ex-girlfriend, Emma, that he will not help her with her pregnancy until they perform a DNA test to confirm paternity. The couple had been together for two years before breaking up amicably four months ago.

Despite their friendly parting and promise to remain friends, Emma recently reached out, claiming she is three months pregnant—with the baby supposedly being his—based on the timing of their breakup. Unsure and suspicious due to their consistent use of protection and the timing of events, he insisted on a DNA test before he commits to any further involvement.

This decision has drawn criticism from some of Emma’s friends and family, sparking debate over whether his demand was a justified precaution or an insensitive rejection of her emotional appeal.

Family and relationship experts emphasize that post-breakup situations—especially when unexpected pregnancies are involved—require clear communication and a balance between emotional support and practical caution. Dr. Laura Jennings, a family psychologist, explains, “When an ex-partner comes forward with a claim of pregnancy after a breakup, it can trigger a complex mix of emotions. The natural instinct to support the other person is understandable, but so is the need to verify important details when the stakes are so high.”

Dr. Jennings continues, “In relationships where protection was consistently used, the sudden claim of a pregnancy aligning perfectly with the breakup timeline raises valid concerns. Requesting a DNA test is a pragmatic approach designed to ensure that decisions—especially those involving long-term financial and emotional commitments—are based on verified facts rather than assumptions.”

She adds, “This situation is not merely about trust; it’s about protecting oneself from potential future regrets. While emotional appeals can be powerful, they should not override the need for certainty when life-changing decisions are at stake. That said, the process should be handled with sensitivity, ensuring that both parties have access to support and counseling as they navigate this challenging transition.”

Dr. Jennings concludes, “Ultimately, the decision to require a DNA test is about safeguarding personal and financial well-being, and in cases like this, it is both a reasonable and necessary step.”

The Reddit community has largely sided with the man’s decision. Many users have commented that his request for a DNA test is standard procedure in situations where paternity is in question, particularly when the breakup was amicable and they were careful about protection. One commenter stated, “NTA – if your ex wants to pressure you into supporting a baby that might not even be yours, you’re well within your rights to ask for confirmation.”

Others agreed that trust is important in any relationship, but that when significant life decisions are involved, facts must be established first. Some users also pointed out that his insistence on a DNA test is a way to prevent future financial and emotional complications. A few voices warned, however, that his approach might seem cold or overly pragmatic to those expecting unconditional support. Still, the overwhelming sentiment remains that his actions are justified given the circumstances.