AITA for “allowing” my friend to fall asleep in just a towel?

The soft glow of a hotel chandelier flickered over a room strewn with wedding favors and empty champagne flutes. A night of celebration had left two friends, a 26-year-old man and his best friend Kayla, sharing a hotel room—separate beds, of course. But when Kayla, tipsy and towel-clad, curled up under the blankets after a shower, a seemingly innocent moment spiraled into a morning of confusion and hurt feelings.

What started as a kind gesture—grabbing breakfast for a sleeping friend—turned into a heated debate about responsibility, boundaries, and a surprising revelation. Was he wrong to let her sleep in just a towel, or was Kayla’s reaction a cover for deeper emotions? This Reddit tale unravels a mix of awkwardness and unexpected heart.

‘AITA for “allowing” my friend to fall asleep in just a towel?’

I (26M) and my best friend Kayla (26F) were at a wedding this past weekend and sharing a hotel room (separate beds btw) and after the wedding, Kayla was pretty drunk and went to take a shower. Came back in just her towel and just curled up under the blankets in her bed and said she was going to sleep.

I thought it was a little strange but I didn’t think anything was wrong with it so I just said okay and went to sleep soon after. The next morning I wake up before her. See she’s still deep asleep so I go down to the breakfast buffet and grab food for her and I because I just think it’s a nice thing to do for her.

Get back to the room. Put her food on the table and start eating mine while quietly watching YouTube with my breakfast. After a while she starts to wake up. She says “hey” and I tell her I got her breakfast. She says thanks and sits up in bed. Sits there for a sec and then gets up and goes to the bathroom.

She’s comes back out in a robe and starts eating breakfast and asks why she wasn’t wearing any clothes. I tell her what happened and she looks confused and a little upset. She asks why I didn’t just help her into pajamas or something. I tell her she didn’t ask me to. And she’s still upset she tells me I should have anyway. It’s November and she’s n**ed and probably soaking wet.

She could have gotten hypothermia or something. I told her I didn’t think of that and I was sorry. But she just hopped in bed and said she was going to sleep. Didn’t tell me she was cold or needed help or anything so I didn’t think of it. We’ve been talking about it since then and she’s not mad at me or anything but she does think I should have done something so we agreed that we should put this here for judgement.

EDIT: To clarify. She didn’t want me to dress her while she was asleep. She wanted me to keep her awake and just help her get into pajamas. EDIT2: Kayla has been reading the comments and asked if she could come over tonight to talk about things and clear the air. So maybe update tonight or tomorrow.

UPDATE: okay so Kayla came over tonight and apologized right away. She said she shouldn’t have expected me to dress her. Conscious or unconscious. And getting upset with me was s**tty to do. I accepted her apology. Then she told me what happened on her side.

Turns out a good chunk of you were right. Kayla has had feelings for me for a while and wanted to make a move on me that night. But she got too drunk and the night was so hazy that she only vaguely remembered anything. And when she woke up n**ed she remembered wanting to make a move and thought maybe we did do something.

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So when she asked me and I told her what happened, she was disappointed and upset so she threw out the hypothermia line and stuck with it out of embarrassment. She expected to get called dumb a few times on Reddit and laugh about it later but this post blew up and she knew she had to clear the air.

She apologized a bunch again and said that she understands if I don’t even want to talk about her having feelings right now because what she did was wrong on every level. I told her that I loved and cared about her deeply and that we can talk about those feelings another time when I’m ready and she accepted that.

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Also she wants to say that she’s even more embarrassed about how many comments called her crazy/dumb for thinking she could get hypothermia when that was just the first thing that came to mind to deflect her disappointment. And she appreciates the string of comments about the titanic.

Navigating boundaries in friendships can feel like walking a tightrope, especially when alcohol blurs the lines. In this case, OP faced a dilemma: respect Kayla’s autonomy or intervene in her vulnerable state. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments” (source: Gottman Institute). OP’s choice to avoid undressing Kayla preserved that trust, prioritizing consent over assumptions.

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Kayla’s upset, however, highlights a clash of expectations. Her hypothermia claim seems exaggerated—indoor hotel rooms rarely dip below 60°F, per standard HVAC guidelines. Yet, her reaction likely stemmed from embarrassment and unspoken feelings, not just the towel. This scenario reflects a broader issue: miscommunication in friendships. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social Psychology found 68% of close friends experience at least one significant misunderstanding annually, often due to unvoiced assumptions.

Dr. Gottman’s advice on addressing bids for connection applies here—Kayla’s towel moment might’ve been an unconscious bid for closeness. OP’s non-action, while respectful, missed her signal. For future clarity, open communication is key. OP could’ve gently checked in, saying, “Hey, you okay to sleep like that?” Such small gestures prevent escalation. Moving forward, both should discuss boundaries explicitly, especially with Kayla’s revealed feelings, to avoid similar mix-ups.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s peanut gallery didn’t hold back, tossing out quips and hot takes with equal gusto. From calling Kayla’s hypothermia fears “Titanic-level drama” to praising OP’s restraint, the comments lit up with humor and insight. Here’s what the community had to say:

DinoSnuggler − NTA. Hypothermia? In a hotel room under the covers? No. If you fall asleep drunk in a towel, you're gonna be in that towel til morning, thems the breaks.

EndHawkeyeErasure − NTA - Frankly, I would have found it creepy if I woke up in my pj's and damp hair, because that means my friend saw me n**ed and I don't remember a thing? Idk if there's a 'win' here, but imo you did the right thing.

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hotironskillet24 − NTA She's not going to get hypothermia sleeping under blankets.

Samael13 − NTA - She's an adult, old enough to dress herself, and she was \*in a bed with covers\*. The idea that she'd get hypothermia *in a hotel room under the covers* is ridiculous. It's a hotel, not the arctic circle.

IamAustinCG − NTA- Hypothermia while sleeping under a blanket in a towel? Were you in a tent or in a hotel that has room controlled heat and AC? She REALLY would have been ok for you to take her towel off, see her fully n**ed, and put clothes on her? While she was drunk??

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Help her get dressed into pjs when’s she completely n**ed and that drunk? Nope nope nope nope. Bad idea. You did it exactly right. You know how much worse “did you dress me when I was drunk…?” Is than “why didn’t you help me into PJs”

Legitimate-Tower-523 − NTA You did the right thing by not touching her. She was too drunk to put herself to bed in the proper way (by her own logic), which means she was not able to give consent. If you had helped her put clothes on, you would have been crossing into dangerous territory when it comes to s**ual a**ault. It’s better for her to be upset that you didn’t help her dress than it would have been if you’d made the assumption and she felt violated.

Educational_Cup9850 − NTA. You are her friend, not her babysitter, keeper, boyfriend, fiance, or husband. Would it have been nice? Yes. Are you obligated? No. More to the point, would she have even been comfortable or okay with you basically stripping off her towel, searching for her clothes (which means going through closest and dresser), and then clothing her??

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Transquisitor − NTA. She wasn't going to get hypothermia in a hotel room with controlled climate, under a towel and blanket. She is being dramatic. If it wasn't this it would be her possibly yelling at you for violating her privacy for seeing her n**ed while drunk. You made the correct call.

jodajodes − NTA. Sleeping in a towel after a shower is amazing. Her drunk self was warm and comfortable and slept good.

These Reddit takes are spicy, but do they cut to the core of the issue, or just fan the flames of drama?

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This towel-clad tale reminds us how quickly a small moment can unravel into a tangle of emotions. OP’s respect for boundaries clashed with Kayla’s unspoken hopes, leaving both to navigate a tricky friendship crossroads. With her confession out, their story is far from over. What would you do if your friend’s drunken nap sparked such a saga? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a friendship fumble like this?

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