AITA for telling my mom I’m not paying $100 dollars for thanksgiving dinner?

A crisp autumn breeze carries the scent of roasted turkey, but in one household, the warmth of Thanksgiving is overshadowed by a tense standoff. A 16-year-old, juggling a Taco Bell job and dreams of studying abroad, faces a tough choice: fork over $100 for the family’s holiday feast or stand his ground for his future. His single mom’s request feels like a heavy weight on his young shoulders, stirring a whirlwind of emotions—guilt, frustration, and determination. Readers can’t help but wonder: is he right to prioritize his savings, or is family duty calling louder?

The situation unfolds like a relatable family drama, pulling us into the teen’s world. His struggle to balance personal goals with familial expectations resonates deeply, sparking questions about boundaries and responsibility. With Thanksgiving’s glow dimmed by this conflict, the story invites us to explore the delicate dance of giving and self-preservation in a cash-strapped household.

‘AITA for telling my mom I’m not paying $100 dollars for thanksgiving dinner?’

I (16m) got a job at Taco Bell. I got the job because I wanted to save up some money to go to college overseas and help my single mother out with somethings. Pretty soon tho, I found a big chunk of my payments going towards helping my mother out with somethings, it was here where I said I was gonna cut back on somethings and continue saving my money for my own desires.

This thanksgiving, my mom is asking me for $100 dollars to pay for part of thanksgiving dinner. I said no, stating my personal desires. She got angry at me and told me I shouldn’t have a job if I wasn’t going to help for thanksgiving dinner. I got angry and left the room.

I don’t really know if I was being an a**hole or not. I had already spent a lot of money helping out with some things and I realized that if I continued, I’d have nothing left for my personal desires. Was I being petty here? AITA?

This teen’s clash with his mom over a $100 Thanksgiving contribution reveals a classic tension: familial obligation versus personal ambition. At 16, he’s caught in a tricky spot, expected to chip in while chasing his own dreams. The pressure to contribute financially can feel like a betrayal of youth, especially when his earnings are meant for college abroad.

Dr. Brad Reedy, a family therapist, notes, “When parents rely on children for financial support, it can invert family roles, creating resentment and stifling independence” (Psychology Today). Here, the teen’s mom may see his job as a resource, while he views it as a ticket to his future. Her $100 demand, steep for a single meal (the average Thanksgiving dinner for 10 costs $53.31, per the American Farm Bureau), suggests blurred boundaries, possibly driven by her own financial stress.

This situation reflects a broader issue: the rising trend of teens contributing to household expenses. A 2023 study found 20% of U.S. teens work to support their families, often at the expense of personal goals (Pew Research Center). The teen’s refusal isn’t just rebellion—it’s a stand for self-preservation. Setting boundaries now can prevent a cycle of over-dependence.

Advice: The teen could propose a compromise, like contributing a smaller amount or helping with meal prep, to show support without derailing his savings. Open communication, perhaps with a trusted adult mediator, could help clarify expectations and ease tensions.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s hot takes are as spicy as cranberry sauce! Here’s what the community had to say about this family showdown.

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Historical-Care-5394 − NTA. Not the a**hole. You are a child. Your mother shouldn't be putting these kinds of pressure on you. If she can't afford the meal there are plenty of organizations that will help. No child should be paying to help support their family.

Lola_M1224 − $100???? How many people is she feeding?

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Bartok_and_croutons − NTA. Your future comes first. Also who tf needs more than $100 for a Thanksgiving dinner? If y'all have a huge family I guess that's feasible but that's just excessive to me, and I've bought and cooked dinner for a family of four for less than that.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your mom is scamming you. A hundred bucks isn't a part of Thanksgiving dinner. It's the whole dinner and then some. The estimate of preparing Thanksgiving dinner for a 10 person family is $53.31. But also, feeding you is one of the things parents are supposed to do.

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BeepBlipBlapBloop − NTA - You're 16. Feeding your family is not your responsibility.

PhillyCyn − NTA she’s still required to feed clothe and house you until you are an adult. $100 more than covers thanksgiving dinner which you should not be supplying at 16yo. Save your money for your dreams and goals otherwise she’ll bleed you dry.

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DelightfulAbsurdity − NTA. I didn’t stop giving my money to my parents until after college, and it left me unprepared for a lot of things. I never had a savings, bc as soon as they caught wind of it, they’d come asking. Good on you for standing up for yourself. At 16, your share of the dinner is helping to cook it and clean afterwards.

1962Michael − NTA. At 16 it is not your responsibility to feed the family. A job is fine as long as grades and chores don't suffer, but your earnings should go towards a car, personal items and a college fund.. Tell your mom you have to work next Thursday, so you won't be able to make it.

AlternativeMacaron71 − NTA that's beyond absurd. Especially since you were already trying to help her out financially, she's just being greedy.

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perro_dactyl − NTA. Your mom is acting selfish and entitled. you’re a minor it is her responsibility to feed you and take care of you until 18 (legally)

These opinions are bold, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just keyboard warriors dishing out quick judgments?

This teen’s bold stand sparks a bigger question: where’s the line between family duty and personal dreams? His story reminds us that even in the season of gratitude, financial pressures can strain bonds. Readers, what would you do if caught between helping family and chasing your goals? Share your thoughts—have you faced a similar tug-of-war?

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