AITA For reporting my therapist after she disclosed information to my stepmom?

In the quiet safety of a therapist’s office, a 20-year-old woman poured out her grief over her mother’s sudden death, hoping to heal. But that sanctuary shattered when she learned her therapist had spilled her private thoughts to her overbearing stepmother, who used them to pry into her pain. Furious, she confronted her stepmother and vowed to report the therapist, only to face her father’s dismissal and demands to back down.

This Reddit story, raw with betrayal, echoes your own struggles with family overreach, like your mother’s oversharing or your stepmother’s intrusive attempts to control. Is she wrong to demand accountability, or are her father and stepmother crossing a sacred line?

‘AITA For reporting my therapist after she disclosed information to my stepmom?’

I (20f) lost my mom in 2018 in a car accident. It was sudden it was devastating and I had no one to turn to for support. My dad married my stepmom a year later. I currently live with them preparing for medical school. I have to say I'm not that excited to start because I have a lot of unresolved grief and needed to talk.

My stepmom has been trying to insert herself as a replacement for my mom mad it's very obvious. She's controlling and gets involved in every single aspect of my life it makes me uncomfortable. I told my dad that I'll be seeing a therapist my stepmom said she'd take care of it. I have been in therapy for two months now.

However lately I noticed my stepmom wanting to talk to me about things that I regularly bring up in therapy to my therapist. She'd bluntly ask questions about things I said in therapy she at some point offered me money to talk to her. I stopped talking to her.

But she started brining up my mom during dinner It's not easy to talk about my mom. It's very stressful and causes me to get emotional. When I asked how she knew she admitted that the therapist told her. I was shocked. She went on about why I shouldn't hate her and respect her more and 'get rid' of the negativity and just accept and try to adapt to this new normal.

I had no response but I was mad I yelled at her and told her she had no right to police my words and get involved in personal manners. My dad said I shouldn't yell because my stepmom was just worried about me and wanted to make sure I was making progress in therapy. I left the kitchen.

I decided to stop seeing my therapist the next day I told her about what my stepmom said and told her that I'll be reporting her for breaking confidentiality. My stepmom threw a fit and my dad told me to back down and that I was free to stop going but not cause issues and mess with people's careers and act out like that. I refused to listen to him and he's still telling me to stop it. He ignores how upset I am.

Trust is the cornerstone of therapy, and this Reddit user’s story shows what happens when it’s shattered. Her therapist’s disclosure to her stepmother violates the core ethical principle of confidentiality, leaving her vulnerable as her stepmother weaponized her private grief. Her father’s defense of this intrusion, much like your own family’s boundary issues, dismisses her emotional safety as she prepares for medical school.

Dr. Charles Figley, a trauma expert, states, “Breaching confidentiality in therapy can retraumatize clients, especially those processing grief”. The American Psychological Association’s ethics code mandates confidentiality unless legally required otherwise. The therapist’s actions, possibly influenced by a personal connection to the stepmother, are a clear violation, and reporting her protects others, as Reddit users urged.

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This reflects broader issues of family dynamics and professional accountability. The user should report the therapist discreetly, as you’ve set boundaries with intrusive family, and seek a new therapist independently, perhaps with password-protected records. Moving out, if feasible, could shield her from her stepmother’s control.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit erupted with unanimous support for the user, slamming the therapist’s unethical breach and the stepmother’s meddling, with a mix of outrage and practical advice. Here’s what they said:

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DemonicSymphony - NTA. Report her and get as far away from these people as you can. You should be able to talk to your therapist without worrying.. Find one who doesn't know her at all.. I'm so sorry

CherryWand - Obviously NTA. Also just report her without telling your dad and stepmom. It’s not their business.

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StifferThanABoner - NTA. I studied psychology for six years, including three years looking at psychological therapies. They drill into us the importance of privacy and confidentiality. By breaking confidentiality she put her own career on the line, and to be frank you owe it yourself and her other patients to report her for that.

She knows the rights and wrongs of being a therapist, and she made the wrong choice and should suffer the consequences, otherwise she'll continue to do this and get away with it. Your stepmom was way out of line and should have kept her nose out. If she wants your trust, she's doing a really rubbish job of earning that.

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If she wants a healthy relationship with you she needs to go about it in an ethical way, and she also needs to understand that these things can't be forced. Your dad is also in the wrong for not seeing just how messed up your therapist and stepmom acted in this situation, and he's really let you down for that.

Melodramatic_Raven - NTA it's a literal breach of conduct. Your therapist should have thought about the consequences before breaking their rules. Besides it feels like given the dad saying not to do it, maybe this therapist is a friend of your family and giving them.info because of that? NTA.

ifsnakescouldspeak - NTA. She broke confidentiality. If she didn't want to lose her job maybe she should actually respect the regulations. She doesn't deserve to be a therapist, because that can SERIOUSLY mess up people's lives. It's your duty to report!

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Alert-Potato - NTA literally every person except you is an a**hole. Your therapist for breaking the law by giving out patient information. Your father’s wife for arranging a therapist specifically to break the law by getting patient information, and for trying to be a replacement mother. You don’t need a replacement mother, you had a mother who raised you all the way to adulthood.

She’s less a stepmother and m ore just your father’s wife. And your father is an a**hole for excusing the illegal behavior of the therapist disclosing patient information to his wife and wanting you to just let it slide. Don’t tell them what you’re doing, just report the therapist. If you want to see a new one arrange it yourself, discuss exactly what happened with them,

and set up password protection on your information. And by the way, *you* are not messing with the therapist’s career, they f**ked their career the moment they disclosed patient information without permission. She built her own coffin, got in, laid down, and pulled the lid over herself after leaving a hammer and nails laying there. Put the nail in the coffin, before she hurts anyone else.

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Stravinsky00 - NTA. It’s particularly ridiculous that your father thinks his med school starting daughter is being unreasonable for reporting the therapist for violating basically the same standard you would be required to follow.

Nishi621 - NTA. You're an adult and your therapist is divulging confidential discussions between the 2 of you to your stepmother?? WTF??. That is extremely unprofessional, unethical and wrong!. Report the therapist! And find yourself one on your own. If you have insurance, call them up yourself and ask for a list of therapists in your area who take your insurance.. Good luck!

[Reddit User] - NTA.. But I think you already know that. Patient confidentiality. So here's a pat on the back, the therapist did the wrong thing and also knowingly risked their career over it.

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BigsleazyG - Your therapist broke the law. I would be furious too. Find an actual professional who respects the law. Nta

Reddit’s rallying cry is loud, but are they fully grasping the emotional weight or just fueling the fire?

This Reddit user’s fight to report her therapist for leaking her grief to her stepmother has pitted her against her father’s dismissal and her stepmother’s overreach. Her story, like your own battles with family boundaries, asks where privacy ends and family begins. Is she right to hold her therapist accountable, or should she let it slide to keep peace? How would you handle a betrayal of trust by someone meant to protect you? Share your thoughts or stories of standing up for your privacy!

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