AITA I told my best friend’s boyfriend that he planned on proposing to her at my wedding?

Jonathan Hours
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Two weeks from now, a blushing bride should be savoring the final flutter of wedding planning—dress fittings, floral dreams, and vows that sparkle. Instead, our protagonist is tangled in a web of betrayal, her best friend’s boyfriend plotting to steal the spotlight with a surprise proposal at her wedding. Picture the scene: a sunlit venue, guests toasting love, only for an uninvited grand gesture to threaten the day’s magic.

The bride’s heart races with fury and guilt as she navigates loyalty to her friend and her own special day. Uninviting the boyfriend feels like a bold stand, but spilling his secret to her friend, Rita, turns joy into chaos. Readers are left wondering: was protecting her wedding worth the cost of a friendship’s trust? This tale of boundaries and surprises hooks us into the drama.

‘AITA I told my best friend’s boyfriend that he planned on proposing to her at my wedding?’

My wedding is in two weeks and my best friend (let's call her Rita) is one of my bridesmaids. Rita and her boyfriend have been together for 3 years and lately he's talking about he wants to propose. He's also asked me for advice on what kind of rings Rita would like and generally he has involved me a lot in his proposal process.

He just got the ring now and he's very nervous and he was telling me he's anxious because the proposal will happen soon and he's very excited about it. I kept asking where the proposal would be and he said it's going to be a surprise. Then he started asking me if he could also have a speech at the wedding and I found this a very weird request because only my MOH (my sister),

my parents, and my in laws will have speeches and even my friends have not requested a speech so it was weird coming from him. I declined because I felt awkward about it and not comfortable. He was very upset and would stop texting or calling me to talk about the proposal after that.

Few days ago another one of my bridesmaids who's also friends with both rita and I told me that Rita's bf plans on proposing to Rita at the wedding that's why he was insisting on having a speech so he could do it during his speech. I immediately confronted him and told him I'm extremely angry and disappointed how he tried to trick me into this and how he thinks this is a good idea and he could just ask and,

then I could decide whether or not I'm comfortable with it. He said he knew I'd say no and that's why he didn't tell me anything. This made me even more angry. I told him not to try anything or else I'll have no choice but to uninvite him. He didn't believe I'd uninvite him because he thought I'd be afraid to disappoint Rita and he literally laughed at my face and

said my hands are tied and there's nothing I can do about it or else I'll hurt Rita's feelings and ill have to offer her an explanation. I then uninvited him and I told Rita he's not welcome anywhere anymore and she was mad and kept asking me why. So I told her what he was planning to do. And just like that I ruined the surprise that her bf wanted to propose.

Rita is mad at both me and her bf and said that I could just make up a lie on why I uninvited him and tell her the truth after he would have proposed to her and that now I ruined one of the best surprises she'd have in her life. I feel so bad right now and I don't know if I did the right thing but at the same time I believe I was in a lose lose situation and I'd still get blamed even if i made up a lie and reveal the truth later. AITA?

Weddings are sacred, but this boyfriend’s sneaky proposal plan turned one bride’s joy into a battlefield. His attempt to hijack the event with a speech reeks of disregard, while the bride’s uninvitation and honesty with Rita show a fierce defense of her moment.

Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect, especially during significant life events like weddings” (Psychology Today). The boyfriend’s refusal to disclose his plan, followed by mocking the bride’s authority, signals a lack of respect—not just for her, but potentially for Rita. The bride’s lose-lose dilemma—lie or ruin the surprise—highlights the emotional trap he set.

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This saga mirrors broader issues of boundary-setting. A 2021 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 30% of wedding conflicts stem from guests overstepping roles. The boyfriend’s manipulation, banking on Rita’s feelings to corner the bride, underscores a power play.

Dr. Heitler’s advice to “communicate boundaries clearly” fits here. The bride could’ve offered a compromise, like a post-wedding proposal moment, but the boyfriend’s dishonesty shut that door. Moving forward, she might encourage Rita to discuss trust with her partner.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out spicy takes with a side of sass. From calling the boyfriend out for his manipulative antics to cheering the bride’s bold move, here’s what the community had to say:

RemarkableDonkey21 - NTA - If you didn’t tell her, it could’ve ruined your relationship with her, so you were right to do so. He is the a**hole for treating you like s**t, and not respecting the fact that it’s your wedding.

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MolassesFragrant342 - NTA- You definitely were in a lose-lose situation. And your story should 🚩🚩🚩to Rita about her boyfriend. WTF was he thinking? His plan was completely inappropriate, and he knew it, so he tried to disguise it and then laughed in your face when you found out?!?! Bye, boy.

jimmap - NTA but boy is Rita's bf the AH. What he said to you about you not being able to stop him from proposing at your wedding is horrible. You did the right thing. Rita also would be mad if you lied cause she never would have accepted you uninviting her bf.

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[Reddit User] - NTA ‘You should have just lied to me’ is rarely a phrase that is applicable to any situation. Her boyfriend was an AH and incredibly rude. You responded to that behavior. She flipped out on you and demanded the truth. You told her.

What lie would she have accepted to have been serious enough to be uninvited from a wedding but also not ruined her proposal??? I’m sitting here trying to think of one. Bottom line, he was an AH; if she blames you, she’s not a real friend. He ruined her surprise by being a jerk. Don’t feel bad and have a wonderful day.

Captain_Bubble_Beard - 'He said he knew I'd say no and that's why he didn't tell me anything.' THEN MAYBE DON'T DO IT, BRO!. NTA. This guy sucks and based on how manipulative he is, sounds like a s**t partner for your best friend.

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Borgold24 - NTA your wedding day is a day about you and your new husband Not rita and some dude who cant be creative enough to take her somewhere special to her to do this at

Girl_with_no_Swag - NTA. Are any proposals these days every actually a surprise? I mean, yes a surprise time/location, but you didn’t ruin that surprise because that was no longer a possibility since he was uninvited. So he new needs to come up with his own proposal venue. But don’t every serious couple have discussions about marriage before the actual proposal?

Chi3f_Leo - Definitely NTA - Your friend's BF is a manipulative a**hole, and while your friend is understandably upset, she needs to get over it because they BOTH backed you into a corner. You shouldn't have to be dealing with other peoples' relationship drama during your wedding planning. Just put them out of your mind.

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kokopelleee - NTA. A wedding is no place for a proposal, and he needed to learn that. You saw it coming and you stopped it from messing up your wedding. Good job.

thirdtryisthecharm - NTA. Rita needs to assess why she wants to marry someone who would treat her best friend this way.

These Reddit gems are fiery, but do they nail the heart of this wedding drama, or are they just adding fuel to the chaos?

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This wedding tale leaves us grappling with a thorny question: how far would you go to protect your special day? The bride’s choice to uninvite her friend’s boyfriend and spill his proposal plan saved her wedding but shook a friendship. Was it the right call, or could a white lie have softened the blow? Share your thoughts—what would you do if someone tried to steal your spotlight? Let’s dive into this juicy drama!

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