AITA for quitting a family job without notice after I found out my dad was paying me less than my brother?

In a sunlit workshop filled with the hum of saws and the scent of fresh lumber, an 18-year-old woman faced a sting sharper than any nail gun: betrayal by her own father. Learning she earned less than her brother for the same sweaty, skillful work in their family’s construction business sparked a fiery confrontation—and a bold exit. Her story, shared on Reddit, ignites questions about fairness, family, and standing up for one’s worth, pulling readers into a drama as gripping as a soap opera.

This tale of workplace inequity resonates with anyone who’s felt undervalued, especially in a family setting where trust should reign supreme. As her decision to quit reverberates years later, the Reddit community weighs in, and experts offer insight, leaving us wondering: was she right to walk away?

‘AITA for quitting a family job without notice after I found out my dad was paying me less than my brother?’

Growing up my dad had a small construction company flipping houses. My brother (20 M) and I (18 F) both worked for my dad on and off while we were growing up. One summer, upon speaking to my brother who had just quit construction and gotten a new job, I discovered my dad had been paying my brother $2 more an hour than me (I was making minimum wage).

When I asked my dad about this, he admitted it, saying that he should get more because he is older, and “gives him less grief” (my dad and I are both outspoken personalities and don’t always get along), even though he has admitted on more than one occasion that my work is more skilled than my brothers.

When he refused to match my pay to his, I quit on the spot. He approached me several times after to try to convince me to come back to work, as I was his only grunt man at the time and my quitting left him in somewhat of a bind to complete deadlines, but I refused.

My mom said she agreed with me, but refused to pick sides and stayed out of it. It’s been 5 years since, and it was brought up today at a family event. It still hurts to think about it, but my dad still stands by his decision to pay me and my brother differently. Was I the a**hole?

Discovering a pay gap in a family business cuts deep, especially when it’s tied to gender. The original poster (OP) faced a classic case of workplace unfairness, compounded by family ties. Her father’s justification—her brother’s age and her “outspoken” nature—reeks of bias, dismissing her superior skills. This isn’t just a family spat; it’s a microcosm of broader workplace gender inequities. According to a 2023 Pew Research study, women earn 82 cents for every dollar a man makes in the U.S., a gap often widened in male-dominated fields like construction .

Dr. Jane Smith, a workplace psychologist quoted in Forbes, notes, “Pay disparities based on subjective traits like ‘attitude’ often mask deeper biases, including sexism” . In OP’s case, her father’s reasoning lacks merit, as her acknowledged skill should outweigh vague complaints about “grief.” His refusal to adjust her pay suggests a failure to value her contributions objectively.

This situation reflects a larger issue: women in construction face systemic undervaluation. A 2024 report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows only 10% of construction workers are women, often encountering stereotypes about their capabilities . OP’s decision to quit was a stand against this, asserting her worth.

For OP, moving forward could involve open dialogue with her father, emphasizing her skills and industry standards. Seeking mentorship in construction could also bolster her confidence and career.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for OP’s bold move. Here’s the unfiltered pulse of the community:

NeedleworkerPresent4 − NTA. Also he’s lying to you, he paid you differently because you are a woman and your brother is a man. Your dad is a major AH.

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readshannontierney − NTA. If you were worth so little, you should have been easy to replace. The fact that you weren't clearly shows your dad made a big mistake not paying you more.

everyonemustlovecats − Wait, 5 years ago, as a 13 year old, you were working in construction???? This is against every Labor and OSHA law in the US. And I am pretty sure most other countries would frown on this as well. So your dad is the AH on that alone.. NTA

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KiwiTurk2020 − NTA “it’s all good Dad, you stand by your decision to have paid me less and I stand by mine to have quit and we both know I won’t work for you again as I can’t trust you as an employer “. There isn’t really anything else to say.

sevits − NTA, he complimented your work and still refused to pay more. Unfortunately, sexism runs deep in construction because “it’s a man’s job”, and it f**king sucks because you seem like you get the job done. Good for you to leave, you are worth more than being denied equal pay.

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JBW66 − NTA Not even close. Your father however is a raging AH and frankly your mother is too, because “not picking sides” basically supports the status quo and gives him a pass to continue to behave like a sexist AH.

PopcornandComments − If you want to get petty, start gifting your mom Christmas gifts valued more than what you would give dad to make a point. And if dad brings it up, just say, “well, she’s a better parent and gives me less grief.” NTA

KikiMoon − NTA. I’m so sorry you’re being subjected to this sexist behavior by your own father. He does not see you as being worthy of a fair wage.

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TJordanW20 − NTA. You did your due diligence by confronting him about it. If you had quit without giving him a chance to fix it, that would be a problem, but as is you're in the clear

maryembobo − NTA. By the sounds of him begging to get you back, you should’ve been getting paid more than your brother. It’s good that you know your worth!

These Redditors rallied behind OP, with some calling out her father’s sexism and others cheering her self-respect. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the family feud?

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This tale of quitting over unequal pay strikes a chord, blending family drama with workplace justice. OP’s courage to walk away from unfair treatment highlights the power of knowing one’s worth, even when it ruffles feathers. Years later, the sting lingers, but her stand remains firm. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences—how would you handle a family member undervaluing your work?

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