AITA for not helping my mom with her bills anymore after siding with my “wife” and acting rude to my pregnant girlfriend?

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Imagine a cozy living room, where the glow of a lamp can’t soften the sting of sharp words. A pregnant girlfriend, already navigating a new home, faces snide remarks from her partner’s mom, who’s hung up on an ex-wife. The man, caught between his mom’s needs and his girlfriend’s dignity, snaps, cutting off financial help after years of footing her bills. This Reddit drama, raw with betrayal and boundary clashes, pulls us into a tangle of family loyalty and tough choices.

The tension crackles as the man stands up for his pregnant girlfriend, refusing to bankroll his mom’s disrespect. Reddit’s buzzing with takes, from fiery support to a few raised eyebrows. Is he justified in pulling the plug, or does his mom’s fixed income make him the bad guy? Let’s dive into this messy family saga, where emotions run high and wallets slam shut.

‘AITA for not helping my mom with her bills anymore after siding with my “wife” and acting rude to my pregnant girlfriend?’

My ex wife (30f) and I (30M) are still stuck in this long drawn out divorce going well over a year and a half already. My mom hasn’t shut up about convincing me to take her back because we’ve been together 15 yrs.

My ex had an emotional affair for 5 months but because it wasn’t a physical one my family feels we should've worked it out since that’s what my ex wanted. 8 months after leaving her I met my girlfriend Alice (28f) then when we decided to become a couple I went ahead and officially filed for divorce.

My girlfriend is over 5 months pregnant with our little guy, but my mom hasn’t supported this at all even though she always complained about wanting grandkids. We moved in together 2 months ago and right now my mom has regular appointments for physical therapy 3 times a week.

I’ve been the one taking her because it’s an hour drive and she can’t be behind the wheel that long. Usually she makes the short drive to my place then we go to her appointment. Sometimes I get there late so Alice lets her in to wait for me to get home.

First time my girlfriend said my mom called my ex right there in front of her and was passive aggressively talking about how our place looks. Then she says she told my ex that she misses our old house.

I told my mom that was extremely inappropriate. She acted like she didn’t do anything wrong since it’s not her fault my girlfriend was “eavesdropping” on their conversation….that she would obviously hear because they were in the same room.

Stupid little things like that. Bring up my ex wife or something from our past. On Monday she was over again waiting for me. We got into this big fight when Alice told me she’s done trying with her.

My mom told her to stop trying to get some kind of approval, it’ll be a waste of time because I won’t be around her once I supposedly come to my senses about my ex and have a “real” family. I really don’t know what set off this kind of reaction out of my mom but knowing her it was probably random.

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My girlfriend was extremely upset. That made me see red. Safe to say my mom didn’t go to her appointment because I sent her home. My brother agreed to take her instead but I’ve also refused to help my mom in any way since she claims she doesn’t believe the family I’m making with my girlfriend is not real.

She’s on a fixed income that barely cover half her rent. Since she doesn’t work my brother, sister and I pitch in every month on everything so she’s covered. They’re coming down on me because they can’t afford to take care of her themselves.

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And while they get she is way out of line she relies on me for financial help. My mom has told me I can’t punish her for her opinion just because I don’t like it. Honestly her talking to me makes me want to help even less. But still I wanna know if that makes me an a**hole since it does fall on my siblings too.

This family feud is a textbook case of loyalty gone awry. The man’s decision to cut off his mom’s financial support stems from her blatant disrespect toward his pregnant girlfriend, Alice. “Family boundaries are crucial for healthy relationships,” says Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, in a 2023 Psychology Today article (Source). Her research shows 68% of family conflicts escalate when boundaries are ignored, as seen in the mom’s passive-aggressive jabs.

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The man’s frustration is clear: he’s been supporting his mom’s rent and driving her to therapy, yet she undermines his new family. His mom’s fixation on the ex-wife, coupled with dismissing Alice’s pregnancy, crosses a line. Alice, meanwhile, faces stress that a 2022 study in the Journal of Family Psychology links to heightened pregnancy complications (Source). The mom’s behavior isn’t just rude—it’s harmful.

This taps into broader issues of family enmeshment. Dr. Orbuch notes that 55% of adults struggle to redefine roles when new partners enter the family. The mom’s refusal to accept Alice suggests a deeper resistance to change. Cutting off support is drastic but sends a clear message: respect comes first.

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Dr. Orbuch advises structured communication to reset boundaries. The man could offer limited help—like one therapy trip a week—if his mom apologizes and respects Alice. A family meeting with siblings could clarify shared responsibilities.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit came in hot, dishing out support with a side of shade. Here’s the lowdown from the online crowd—brace for some spicy takes.

Bruiscear − NTA. You could be petty and Tell her to ask your ex for money since She cares more About her than she does about you and your family.

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IKnowFewThings − NTA. Your money, so you can do whatever you want with it. She loves your ex so much, she should ask her for money.. She’s on a fixed income that barely cover half her rent.

Maybe, and here me out, she should move to a place she can afford. Yes, it sucks, but if four people (you, your mom, and two siblings) can pay her rent and bills, then it's time to move to a more affordable place.

czechtheboxes − NTA. If your ex wife is part of the 'real family,' she can help your mom. Were your siblings helping mom before all this or just you? If they weren't helping at all before, think of this as them making up for lost time.

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And you aren't punishing her for her opinion, your opinion is you don't have to pay for her for any reason, nothing to do with anything at all. She really needs to learn not to bite the hand that feeds her.

kcbrand5 − She said: 'I can’t punish her for her opinion just because I don’t like it.'. ​ ummmm you absolutely can. She's a grown ass women and actions have consequences. I would telol your mom if she's so close to your ex then your ex can cover your share of her bills. I would definitely be done.

Majestic-Leopard-563 − NTA don’t bite the hand that feeds you!! If she loves your old home and ex wife so much why doesn’t she move in with her?

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You’re not punishing your mom for her opinion. Your mom is simply facing the consequences of her refusal to accept reality, which is that you’re not going back to your ex under any circumstances, and you and the future mother of your child are sick of her bringing it up.

If she wants to continue to insist you’re making a mistake, so be it, but you don’t need to keep helping her or subject a pregnant lady to her nonsense because she can’t keep it in check even long enough to get to her appointments.

And if your siblings are sick of her stubbornness making their lives more difficult for no good reason, they can insist she reconsider her priorities if she wants to continue receiving their support, too. It’s not all on you to be accommodating of whatever s**t everyone wants to throw at you.

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Resident_Bee_8621 − NTA. Bro cut her off. Tell her you can’t support her but your ex can, since they are so close.

dukecherie − Unpopular take but ESH except your new girlfriend. Your ex for cheating. Your mom for her behavior towards your new girlfriend. But also you for jumping into starting a new family when your old one is still not fully severed yet.

Look at how you've described this high stress environment and all the drama. Your new girlfriend is dealing with that on top of her pregnancy. She will be having a baby where a significant part of the family doesn't respect her or treat her well.

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That's going to make pregnancy and postpartum much worse. Edit. Cutting your mom off is the right move. But that's the bare minimum thing that should be done for the sake of the baby and your girlfriend.

SDstartingOut − NTA. To start with, there is no requirement to support your parents in the first place. I mean - you are 30. A lot of people still have college debt when they are 30. So the fact you were willing to do is - was nice to begin with.

Relationships end. People change. If something is over - it's over. We only have a finite amount of time on this earth. You moved on. While I can respect the fact your mom is welcome to her an opinion - she's also welcome to keep her mouth shut about it.

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3tzamani − NTA. You have every right to keep your mom far away from your family if all she’s going to do is spread toxic negativity. She’s been looking for a fight with your gf from the moment she called your ex in your home to speak badly of it, the fact that your gf had enough patience and respect not to kick her out right then and there speaks volumes about her character.

Your mother has the right to have whatever opinion she wants, but not to force you or anyone else to put up with it. Especially not to support her through her actively attacking your new partner pregnant with your child. If your mother is such good friends with your ex, maybe she can try convincing her to pay for whatever you were paying for.

Either way it is not your responsibility, let your siblings know that if they want to continue supporting her without your help that is a choice, and based on her continued disrespect not one you have to share. Please enforce your boundaries for your. Gf’s sake, good luck.

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These Redditors are all-in for the man’s stand, but are they missing the bigger picture? Does his mom’s reliance on him justify a softer approach?

This saga shows how fast family ties can fray when respect takes a backseat. The man’s choice to cut off his mom’s funds is a bold line in the sand, protecting his new family but straining sibling bonds. A middle ground—like limited help with clear rules—might ease the tension. What would you do if a family member disrespected your partner like this? Drop your stories and advice below—let’s keep this convo rolling!

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