AITA for telling my sister her boyfriend hit on me and “ruining” their relationship?

Jonathan Hours
Comments 0 Comments

Imagine a cozy family kitchen, the smell of fresh coffee lingering, when a chilling moment disrupts the warmth. A 20-year-old woman, let’s call her Emma, finds herself cornered by her sister’s 47-year-old boyfriend, his words dripping with inappropriate flattery. Unsettled but resolute, she brushes him off, only to grapple with a nagging secret. When she finally shares the truth with her sister, hoping to protect her, the response is a heartbreaking betrayal—accusations, anger, and a severed bond.

Emma’s story is a gut-punch, a tale of loyalty tested by a creepy encounter and a sister’s denial. Caught between doing the right thing and keeping the peace, she’s left wondering if honesty was worth the cost. This Reddit saga dives into the messy terrain of family trust and the courage to speak up, even when it backfires.

‘AITA for telling my sister her boyfriend hit on me and “ruining” their relationship?’

I’m 20 and my sister’s 27. She’s been seeing this guy who’s 47 which is already weird but whatever. I’ve never liked him, he gives me the creeps, but I’ve just kept quiet to keep the peace. Few weeks ago we were at my mum’s and I was in the kitchen on my own. He comes in and starts saying stuff like “if I were younger” and “don’t tell your sister but I’ve always thought you were stunning.”

I literally just told him to stop and walked out. I didn’t say anything at first but it kept bugging me, so I told my sister. I was calm, just said she deserved to know. She completely flipped. Said I must’ve taken it the wrong way, then turned it around and said I was flirting with him. Apparently I’m jealous and just want attention now. She’s not spoken to me since.

My mum believes me and is completely on my side, but my sister’s telling everyone I tried to come on to her boyfriend and ruin her relationship. I want nothing to do with him. He’s nearly older than our dad and makes my skin crawl.. I wasn’t trying to start drama. I just didn’t feel right keeping it to myself.. AITA?. Edit: Just found out she blocked me on everything lol.

Navigating a sister’s romance gone wrong is like walking through a minefield blindfolded. Emma’s decision to tell her sister about her boyfriend’s creepy comments was brave but sparked a defensive backlash. Relationship expert Dr. Harriet Lerner says, “Speaking hard truths to loved ones can strain bonds, but silence often enables harm” (The Dance of Connection). Emma’s sister, clinging to her relationship, turned on the messenger, a classic deflection.

This situation reflects a broader issue: predatory behavior in relationships with significant age gaps. A 2022 study from the Journal of Social Issues found that large age differences can sometimes mask power imbalances, increasing risks of manipulation (Journal of Social Issues). The boyfriend’s boldness in hitting on Emma suggests a pattern, possibly isolating her sister from family support.

Emma’s calm disclosure was the right move, but her sister’s denial shows how manipulators can cloud judgment. For Emma, staying firm with support from her mother is key. She might gently reach out, saying, “I’m here when you’re ready to talk,” keeping the door open without pushing. Readers, beware: addressing inappropriate behavior early can prevent deeper harm, even if it’s messy.

For others in Emma’s shoes, document incidents and seek trusted allies, like family or counselors. If the behavior escalates, reporting to authorities, as some Redditors suggested, could uncover a pattern. Honesty, though painful, protects in the long run—Emma’s story proves it.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s got thoughts spicier than a kitchen standoff—here’s what they said about Emma’s family drama:

PlasticEducation238 - NTA - She’s mad at the wrong person. Man’s pushing 50 and tryna flirt with you behind her back, and somehow you’re the problem? Naaaah. You did her a favour and she’s too embarrassed to admit it. Let her defend her crusty old creep if she wants. You kept it real. She shoulda thanked you, not turned on you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Full-Reception552 - NTA - Creeps like him are expert at getting in the heads of their victims. He will have been destroying your sister's self esteem for ages and warping how she sees things. Probably he's already been saying things to her to make her think that he'd love her more if she was more like you.

It's almost a win/win situation for him, He wins if you had been okay with his creepy comments, but he also wins being rejected because it is serving to isolate your sister from the rest of the family. It sounds like the only hope now is to just let your sister know somehow that you still love her and that you'll be there for her if she needs you, and then back off.. She doesn't understand yet how toxic this relationship is, hopefully she will one day.

ADVERTISEMENT

Worried-Perspective5 - NTA, You've done your part now it's up to her what she'll do with that information

Electrical_Welder205 - HE'S the one who's ruining their relationship! And by the way, you're probably not the only sweet young thing he's come onto recently. He probably does this regularly, when your sis isn't around. It's probably a compulsive behavior. . You did your sister a favor, though it may not seem like it right now. NTA

ADVERTISEMENT

BurdenedMind79 - A 47-year-old dude, with a 27-year-old girlfriend, hitting on her 20-year-old sister. God, I hope you're the youngest in the family, because if not, I'd be seriously worried about this creeps trajectory. NTA. Not your fault if your sister can't see it, though. But don't let her get away with telling everyone you were hitting on him. Make sure they all know the truth.

Also, if he really creeped you out, consider reporting him to the police. There might not be much they can do considering you aren't underage- unless it turns out this isn't his first rodeo. Someone that old, who is confident enough to hit on women barely out of their teens is unlikely to be a novice in this particular field. It might be worth it, to find out if he's got previous.

ADVERTISEMENT

Low-Programmer-7447 - NTA. He's super creepy and you’re probably not the first girl he's hit on. Best your sister heard what he said to you.

CatelinaBaylorfan - I knew a woman who's scum boyfriend hit on me.  I did not tell her.  Years later she found out he had hit on every woman she knew.  She was completely humiliated.  She looked me in the eye and asked me if he had hit on me as well.  I was ashamed to tell her the truth.  NTA.  It is better that she is told early and often than finding out way later.  She is a fool.  Good luck.

dazed3240 - Well now we can see why the old creep thought your sister was a good target.. Pretty sad.

ADVERTISEMENT

hdgal63 - NTA, you did the right thing! Hopefully your sister will take her blinders off and see the truth.

jensmith20055002 - That is how predators prey. They test and test and test and slowly push and twist and turn.. Your sister is in serious danger. I wish that sounded dramatic.. She’s 27. She’s too old to be groomed but she not too old to be manipulated,. isolated and abused.. Even without the age difference this is super troubling.

From calling out the boyfriend’s creep factor to urging Emma to stand her ground, Reddit’s takes are raw and real. But do these comments nail the truth, or are they just fanning the flames?

ADVERTISEMENT

Emma’s courage to speak up turned her sister against her, proving that truth-telling can come at a cost. Was she right to risk their bond, or should she have stayed silent to keep the peace? What would you do if a family member’s partner crossed a line? Share your stories—have you ever had to spill a tough truth and faced the fallout?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *