AITA for cutting my financially sister off when I found out that I was the only sibling paying for her?

A hardworking eldest sibling, miles away from family, thinking they’re part of a team effort to lift their struggling sister out of a financial hole. The twist? They’re the only one footing the bill! In a tale dripping with trust, betrayal, and a dash of family drama, our Reddit user stumbles into a web of lies spun by their own kin. The youngest sister, a single mom battling her child’s medical bills, seemed to need a lifeline—until the truth unraveled like a cheap sweater.

The shock of being the sole benefactor, duped into paying triple the share, left our protagonist reeling with anger and disbelief. How could parents and siblings concoct such a scheme, banking on one person’s income and childfree life? With emotions running high, readers can’t help but wonder: is this a justified stand or a cold-hearted cut-off? Buckle up as we dive into this messy family saga, where loyalty clashes with fairness in a most unexpected showdown.

 

‘AITA for cutting my financially sister off when I found out that I was the only sibling paying for her?’

I have 3 siblings. I am the eldest. My youngest sister is the only one of us who didn't attend college. She got pregnant and dropped out few months into college. I live in another state and see them only a couple of times a year. I am not really close to any of them.

My sister fell into deep financial s**t after the guy took off and the baby, B, had a ton of medical issues that she couldn't afford. In the end, she moved in with my parents. Me and the other siblings decided to pitch in some money each month to help the youngest sister.

At first, they told me that since I earn the most, I should contribute more. I firmly said that I will contribute what everyone else is going to contribute. They agreed. It's been a year and recently my youngest sister reached out to me and said that she needed money urgently because B needed an surgery the next month.

I was a little perplexed. B hasn't been to the hospital for the past 2 months and the money from those 2 months from all of us should have been more than enough to cover the surgery. I kept pointing this out and asked her what happened to the money. She kept saying that money got used up.

At this point, I told her that she was gonna have to show me some bills and she broke down saying that I am the only one who is giving her money and my parents/my other siblings asked her to keep that a secret from me. They decided that I am the one who should pay for everything because I earn more and I am childfree while the others are not.

None of my siblings have kids but they wanna prepare for the future while I don't have to cuz I am not going to have children. So for the past year, I am the only one who has been helping. What's worse, everytime she needed x amount of money, she would call me and tell me that she needed 3x money and tell me that my siblings already paid their share.

I was so pissed off when she confessed. I immediately hung up on her and refused to talk to any of them after that. This literally happened a few days ago. I haven't sent any money this month or for the surgery. Everyone obviously thinks I am the a**hole.

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I told my siblings that until they match what I have paid last year, they aren't going to see another cent from me. My siblings told me that they cannot afford that much right now and begged me to continue paying or at the very least, pay for another year, so everyone can figure something else out.. I refused to.. AITA here?

Family dynamics can turn into a tangled knot when money and secrets collide. Our Reddit user faced a classic case of being unfairly burdened, a situation that’s both personal and all too common. The family’s logic—pinning costs on the childfree, higher-earning sibling—smacks of entitlement, yet their desperation for the child’s sake adds a layer of complexity. The deception, though, is the real kicker, eroding trust faster than a toddler topples a block tower.

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Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes in a 2019 Psychology Today article, “Trust is built in the smallest moments, but it’s shattered when honesty falters” (psychologytoday.com). Here, the family’s secrecy not only undermined the bond but placed an undue load on one person. From their view, the user’s income and lifestyle justified the ask; from the user’s, it’s a blatant betrayal.

This taps into a broader issue: financial boundaries in families. A 2021 study by the National Financial Educators Council found 65% of Gen Z and Millennials report family pressure to lend or give money, often straining relationships (nationalfinancialeducatorscouncil.org). The user’s siblings and parents leaned into a skewed fairness model, ignoring the user’s right to equity.

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What’s the fix? Experts suggest clear communication—set firm boundaries and document agreements. If support continues, consider tying funds to verifiable needs, like medical bills, or redirecting to resources like Medicaid, as some Redditors noted. The user’s stance—demanding siblings match past payments—holds water, but a mediator or family counselor could ease tensions. Honesty, not secrecy, is the path forward.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, and their takes are as candid as a late-night chat over pizza! Here’s what the community had to say, blending outrage, wit, and a sprinkle of tough love:

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Practical_Heart7287 − NTA.there are resources she could apply for. The entire family except for you are the AH.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Clearly they were running a game on you. That’s really quite s**tty of your family. I understand the baby has medical issues, maybe that’s part of the issue here, but why wouldn’t you pay for a nanny so she could go to work?

Your whole family is creating an environment of dependency instead of helping your sister grow. One day your sister won’t have a baby to take care of anymore and she won’t have any work experience, either. If you give her another dollar let it be for childcare and let her figure everything else out on her own.

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alissa2579 − NTA WTF is wrong with your entire family.

DriftNinja_22 − NTA period. they lied to you because you aren't having kids and earn more and that's a really s**tty thing to do, on top of that they may have forced her into a corner because she actually needed the money.. Stand your ground, do not budge until your siblings have paid an equal amount.

[Reddit User] − NTA - in your shoes I wouldn’t talk to any of them for a very long time. And especially until they paid you back for the money you sent that covered their portion as well. You don’t owe them anything.

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killmonger81 − It's a super unfortunate situation for the baby but NTA.

samwilde0421 − NTA, you're not expected to give anything. And it's a horrible thing they did, asking you to pay while they were not and keeping it from you. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Fleegle2212 − NTA. Your family's behaviour is ***horrifying***.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. I don't know where you live, but in the USA that child could be in Medicaid and have those surgeries. They are using you and they are not your responsibility.

Nebsy_Websy − NTA. They lied to you. They need to clean up after themselves. Your (a sibling) also not responsible for your sister, your parents are. Sorry to say it but your family is full of leeches

These hot takes light up Reddit, but do they mirror real life? Maybe the family’s in a pickle, but tricking one sibling into bankrolling everything is a plot twist even M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t dream up.

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This family fiasco leaves us with more questions than answers. Our Reddit user, stung by betrayal, drew a line in the sand, refusing to fund a sister’s needs alone while siblings and parents dodged their share. It’s a messy blend of loyalty, fairness, and a child’s urgent needs—tough to untangle! The user’s fury feels valid, yet the baby’s plight tugs at the heartstrings. In the end, trust took the hardest hit, and rebuilding it won’t be a walk in the park. What would you do if you found yourself in this sticky situation? Drop your thoughts, feelings, or similar tales below—let’s get this convo rolling!

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