AITA for showing my friend the prenup my fiancé wants me to sign?

Imagine flipping through a prenup, expecting a dry legal chat, only to ignite a family firestorm. For one bride-to-be, sharing her fiancé’s prenup with his cousin—her go-to for legal advice—seemed innocent enough. But when the cousin spotted an inheritance meant for her now in the fiancé’s hands, secrets unraveled, and tempers flared. Now, the family’s pointing fingers at the bride for spilling the beans, and even her fiancé’s miffed about the privacy breach.

Caught between loyalty and a quest for clarity, she’s left wondering if her honesty was a misstep. This Reddit tale dives into a tangle of trust, family secrets, and the fine print of love. Was she wrong to share the document, or is the family dodging their own shady dealings? Let’s unpack this drama and find out.

‘AITA for showing my friend the prenup my fiancé wants me to sign?’

My fiancé asked me to sign a prenup which I have no problem with. I received a copy of it on Monday and I showed it to my friend, who is my fiancé’s cousin, because she was curious and she’s the only person I know who has any experience with prenups.

Reading the prenup is how she discovered something she was supposed to inherit has already been given to my fiancé and nobody told her. She’s understandably upset and it’s causing a lot of drama in their family. Everybody knows she found out because of me and they’re upset with me and blame me for the drama.

My fiancé’s dad asked me why I showed it to her and when I explained I wanted her opinion since I didn’t have any experience with prenups he told me that was what the lawyer was for rudely. My fiancé did defend me but even he’s upset that I showed her since he thinks the prenup should’ve been kept between the two of us.. AITA?

Sharing a prenup with a trusted confidant shouldn’t spark a family meltdown, but here we are. The OP’s decision to show the document to her fiancé’s cousin, seeking her expertise, was reasonable—especially since she lacked prenup experience. The cousin’s discovery of a redirected inheritance reveals a deeper issue: the family’s secrecy. Their anger at the OP, rather than addressing the inheritance switch, suggests deflection. The fiancé’s privacy concerns are valid, but his family’s reaction raises red flags about transparency.

This scenario highlights the importance of clarity in prenuptial agreements. A 2023 report by Forbes notes that 15% of engaged couples face disputes over prenups, often due to miscommunication or hidden assets. The family’s expectation that the OP rely solely on their lawyer—without her own representation—hints at potential bias.

Legal expert Lisa Zeiderman advises, “Each party in a prenup needs independent counsel to ensure fairness and full disclosure”. The OP’s oversight in not consulting her own lawyer left her vulnerable to missing critical details, like the inheritance issue. The family’s secrecy, not her sharing, is the real drama catalyst.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out support with a side of shade for the family’s shady moves. From urging the OP to get her own lawyer to calling out the family’s secret-keeping, the comments are a lively mix. Here’s what the community had to say.

Paddy_O_Numbers - Nta and also you should have your own lawyer - separate to the one that your husband is using to draft the prenup.

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JetItTogether - NTA. Get your own lawyer... Do no expect the lawyer who prepared the document for your fiance and his family to represent you.

Cute-Character-795 - NTA. You've learned something more about how that family operates. They keep secrets from one another.. But you should take the prenup to a lawyer.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. Your friend was supposed to inherit something. And whoever made that change did it behind her back and without consulting her.. Having someone else look over a legal document is important. The family is upset that your friend found out. I think the family was in on it. They have to own up to their lie

Nathan_Poe - he thinks the prenup should’ve been kept between the two of us.. that's not how prenups work.. NTA

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teresajs - NTA. And you need your own lawyer for the prenup!!!! In many places, a prenup isn't legal unless both partners had their own lawyers.

The__Riker__Maneuver - You need to take that prenup to a lawyer that YOU choose and pay to have them look it over. I have a feeling it is heavily slanted in your fiance's favor. NTA

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Saraqael_Rising - Reading the prenup is how she discovered something she was supposed to inherit has already been given to my fiancé. \*Everybody knows she found out because of me and they’re upset with me and blame me for the drama.

My fiancé’s dad asked me why I showed it to her and when I explained I wanted her opinion since I didn’t have any experience with prenups he told me that was what the lawyer was for rudely.. NTA Not in the least bit.

You went to a friend (who happens to be his relative) who has some experience with pre-nups and they're mad because they didn't tell their cousin your fiancé got whatever was supposed to be given to her. That's not your problem... they got caught red handed and it's their fault.

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They're blaming you for their lack of responsibility and possible shady dealings. Secondly, yes.... most people would take it to their attorney to look over the pre-nup, make alterations to protect you, their client, from anything that seems unfair if there is something in the agreement that does not benefit you or screws you should things turn sideways.

That's their job. However, I do not know your financial situation and your future FIL's snarky comment 'That's what lawyers are for' makes him sound like a pompous a**hole. And no, a pre-nup is something you need to discuss and get opinions from your family and friends, an attorney.

You need their advice and an objective opinions. They may see something you don't and they have your best interests at heart. If your fiancé and his family disagree with this, it begs the question what they have to hide and what other expectations they have of you going forward?

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Snowconetypebanana - NTA their lawyer is not on your side. Do your due diligence before signing and make sure you fully understand what you are agreeing to. A prenup that he doesn’t want her discussing with her own lawyer is shady.. edit to clarify.

dart1126 - NTA.. His dad said that’s what THE lawyer is for’. …meaning theirs? Like, they had no intention or interest in you getting your own?. I sure hope this encourages you to get your own, lord knows what other dubious items it contains.

These Reddit takes are as sharp as a lawyer’s pen, but do they miss any nuances? Is the family just embarrassed, or hiding more?

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The OP’s choice to share the prenup wasn’t the drama’s root—it merely lit the fuse on a family secret. The real issue lies in the undisclosed inheritance transfer, not her quest for advice. This story reminds us that trust and transparency are non-negotiable in love and legal docs. What would you do if a prenup exposed a family lie? Share your thoughts—have you ever stumbled into drama by seeking advice?

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