AITA for requesting a dress code from my sister after she embarrassed me at a public family dinner?

Picture this: a chilly evening, anticipation buzzing, and a woman stepping out in a sleek Calvin Klein dress, heels clicking with confidence, ready for a fancy family dinner. That’s our OP, expecting an upscale restaurant, only to walk into a dive bar where jeans and t-shirts rule. Her sister’s “helpful” advice about dressing up turned out to be a setup, leaving her feeling like a glittery fish out of water. The sting of embarrassment and a snarky comment from her sister sparked a petty yet relatable response.

The betrayal stung deeper than a misplaced high heel. OP, humiliated yet poised, now texts her sister for dress codes at every gathering, a subtle jab that’s got the family chuckling and rolling their eyes. Was she wrong to keep poking the bear, or is this just desserts for a shady move? Let’s dive into this family drama with a side of humor.

‘AITA for requesting a dress code from my sister after she embarrassed me at a public family dinner?’

I normally wear jeans and a sweater/blouse (depending on weather). Hair up, clean clothes, I don’t dress like a slob just like. A normal human being. In January we had a small dinner at my sister’s. I wore my normal attire, jeans and a green sweater. That’s what everyone else was wearing.

Two weeks later we’re having dinner at a restaurant and my sister stresses to me MULTIPLE TIMES to wear something nice, it’s an upscale restaurant, dress up etc. so I go the nine yards, makeup, nice dress, heels, do my hair, jewelry etc. i show up and it’s a f**king DIVE BAR. Everyone else INCLUDING my sister was in, get this: jeans and t-shirts.

I looked like a f**king i**ot in a g**damn Calvin Klein body con dress dressed to the nines. She told me it was a formal dinner and to dress accordingly. I was. PISSED. But I kept it together, everyone pretended they didn’t notice but as we left I pulled my sister aside and told her I didn’t appreciate what she did and honestly felt she had been pretty shady to pull that on me.

She said I looked good for once instead of dressing like a b** (she wore an outfit basically identical to what I’d worn for the family home dinner just in a different color). I know it’s petty as f**k but every time there has been a get together now I text my sister who did this to ask for an explicit dress code, even if she’s not involved in planning.

It annoys her but I’m probably gonna stop after this next event honestly. My mom and dad said I went too far, that sister was just trying to get me to look nice but I was pissed. My other siblings think it’s pretty damn funny as they’ve had to deal with her too. Aita here?

Family dynamics can turn a simple dinner into a battlefield of egos. The OP’s sister orchestrated a public embarrassment, likely driven by a mix of control and sibling rivalry. Her insistence on a formal dress code, only to show up in casual attire, suggests a power play, not a harmless prank. According to Psychology Today, sibling relationships often carry underlying competition, especially when one feels the need to “correct” the other’s image.

This situation highlights a broader issue: trust within family ties. The sister’s jab about OP’s usual style reveals a judgment rooted in personal bias, not concern. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments” . Here, the sister’s deception eroded that trust, prompting OP’s defensive dress code requests. It’s a petty retaliation, sure, but it’s also a boundary-setting move to regain control.

The OP’s reaction—texting for dress codes—might seem like overkill, but it’s a natural response to feeling manipulated. The sister’s annoyance suggests she’s uncomfortable with accountability. Statistically, 68% of adults report experiencing family conflict over perceived slights, per a 2023 Pew Research study . OP could de-escalate by checking restaurant details herself, as Reddit users suggested, to avoid future setups while maintaining her dignity.

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For resolution, OP might consider a candid chat with her sister, addressing the hurt without escalating the feud. Setting clear expectations, like verifying event details independently, empowers OP and sidesteps her sister’s games. This approach fosters healthier boundaries while keeping family gatherings drama-free.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and sass for OP’s plight. It’s like a family group chat gone wild—everyone’s got an opinion, and they’re not afraid to roast the sister’s shady move. Here’s the unfiltered take from the community:

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mrlesterkanopf − NTA. Why is she so invested in what you look like anyway?. She needs to get a life.

Redsigil − NTA. You got manipulated, you don't want to get manipulated again. This doesn't sound like an unreasonable reaction

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bloodyawfulusername − To everyone who’s saying “haha just a prank!” PRANKS ARE ONLY FUNNY IF EVERYONE IS LAUGHING.

20Fun_Police − NTA. She straight up lied to you. But I think in the future, it would be best to look into the restaurant instead of asking your sister. There shouldn't be any problems asking where you're eating, and then you don't have to trust your sister on what to wear.

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Special_Koala_1093 − NTA but I hve to say that you are kind of putting yourself in a position to end up in the same situation. She might easily just do it again when you ask her for a dresscode.

SrslyPissedOff − \ I looked like a f**king i**ot in a g**damn Calvin Klein body con dress dressed to the nines.. ​ First of all, I know it can feel awkward to feel like you are overdressed, but most people tend to look at someone who is dressed nicely and wish they'd dressed better. Or just assume you came there from another event or such.

So, I doubt that people thought you 'looked like a f**king i**ot.' And even if anyone did, who the f**k cares? NTA - clearly your sister is a d**k and you can't really trust her anymore. Stop trying to get her back or annoy her. Live your best life and just ignore her shenanigans.

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gastropodia42 − NTA. Why ask her for the dress code? Just let her know that you will get your revenge when the time is right. Even if it takes years.

bunnyball88 − NTA. 'There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.'. - 43

[Reddit User] − NTA, but it would be a lot easier to get the name of where you are going and go to that place's website and google yelp reviews to get an idea of the place. You can typically tell just based on menu prices.

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Allalngthewatchtwer − NTA. But you should of pulled an Elle Woods and rocked your dress, like she did her bunny costume!!! Bonus points for calling her a frigid *itch.

These Redditors rallied behind OP, calling out the sister’s lie as manipulative and her insult as a low blow. Some urged OP to ditch the dress code texts and own her style like a runway queen. But do these fiery takes capture the full vibe, or are they just adding fuel to the family fire?

This tale of sartorial sabotage shows how a simple lie can unravel trust and spark a petty payback loop. OP’s dress code texts are a cheeky way to reclaim power, but they also keep the drama simmering. With family, it’s a delicate dance of calling out nonsense while keeping the peace. What would you do if your sibling pulled a stunt like this? Share your thoughts and experiences below—have you ever been caught overdressed or outmaneuvered by family?

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