AITA for changing the wifi password to teach my husband a lesson?

Imagine this: a quiet home office, the hum of a laptop, and a woman powering through her remote workday—until a letter from the WiFi company lands like a digital grenade! Her husband’s been torrenting adult content, seeding it from their shared connection, and now the ISP’s threatening to pull the plug. For her, WiFi’s the lifeline to her paycheck, and a cutoff spells disaster.

She swaps the WiFi password in a flash, calmly telling him: no VPN, no access. He’s fuming, stuck offline from his games, while she guards her job like a hawk. Is she the hero of her career or the villain of their home? Buckle up for a tale of torrents, tempers, and a marriage on the edge!

‘AITA for changing the wifi password to teach my husband a lesson?’

I work from home now (position went remote during the end of the world, now permanently remote yada yada) so safe to say my wifi is basically my lifeblood. I connect via ethernet cable and sign into my company’s VPN. My husband also has his own computer and does his thing but does NOT work from home.

Suffice to say getting my wifi cut off would be disastrous and wildly inconvenient. A week ago I got a letter from our wifi company (our acc is in my name only). It was a warning that someone had been seeding a torrent off my IP address for *insert porn title here*. I’m not mad he was downloading porn, I’m mad he did it on our wifi without at least a VPN.

The letter basically stated if it continued they would cancel our service. I didn’t make a fuss, I just went in and changed our wifi password. When my husband got home I handed him the letter and calmly told him that I changed the wifi password and I’d give it to him when he learned how to use a VPN and or to keep his torrents from seeding back.

Well now I’m an AH. He doesn’t want to pay for a VPN service. He can’t play his games or anything but I’m not willing to risk lowering my job performance by losing my wifi, so until I see he’s got a VPN no wifi password. My best friend thinks the situation is quite amusing but my husband is obviously pissed. So AITA?

Talk about a connection conundrum! This woman’s move to change the WiFi password shields her remote job, but her husband’s torrenting tantrum has the house buzzing with tension. She’s got a point: a canceled connection could tank her work performance. He, however, feels cut off—literally—from his gaming, balking at a VPN’s cost. Both have stakes, but her livelihood trumps his leisure, and torrenting without protection? A rookie misstep.

This taps a bigger issue: digital responsibility in shared spaces. A 2023 Norton study found 29% of users faced ISP warnings from risky downloads, often tied to torrents (Norton, 2023, source). Cybersecurity expert Brian Krebs notes, “Unprotected torrenting exposes networks to malware and legal risks— a VPN is a cheap shield” (Krebs on Security, source).

Her stance holds, but a chat could’ve sparked less static. Solution? He grabs a VPN—many cost under $10 monthly—or a separate line for his antics. Compromise keeps the peace and the WiFi on.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s firing up the router with zesty takes—some hilarious, some heated! From “NTA” cheers for saving her job to “YTA” jabs at her parental-style punishment, the comments crackle. Dig into the digital dish below!

kcoinga - NTA. He's threatening your ability to earn a living.

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epostiler - Absolutely NTA. Your reasoning is sound. Your need clearly trumps his want. But I'd be a little worried about his use of torrents. This may sound paranoid, but viruses can get into routers too. If you're using that for work stuff, he is exposing your company. Honestly, this is going to be a huge fight, but I think he should get his own internet if he's going to be doing that.

Jdpraise1 - NTA.. but I will say the easiest solution is to get a second internet connection to the house and secure your work line to you directly. Your husband shouldn’t be doing anything that can compromise your employment, especially when there are easy solutions (vpn)

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[Reddit User] - NTA and who the hell torrents porn?

ubiquitous_delight - 'my wifi is basically my lifeblood. I connect via ethernet cable'. People really don't know what wifi means lmao

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Ok_Surround6561 - I was in Y T A territory but it’s not like you actually have multiple chances for him to learn how to responsibly use the internet before you get cut off, and for that, NTA.

[Reddit User] - Is this a reddit ad for a vpn?

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Dimsumchik - NTA. Also, pornhub exists. Who downloads porn in 2022? He must have really wanted that specific video. Maybe his stepsis is in it? 🤣

Roadshell - YTA. Assuming you guys share finances, he's paying for this WIFI so he has just as much of a right to use it as you. Getting in trouble with your ISP is bad (not exactly sure why the ISP cares if he downloads porn but whatever),

on that level you're right to be angry, but it sounds like you didn't even try to just talk about this with him like an adult, you just jumped straight to this stunt where you treat him like a parent treats a teenager they're grounding.

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Pale_Height_1251 - NTA, but if you're using Ethernet, then you're not using WiFi.

These are Reddit’s hot signals, but do they sync with reality? Maybe he swaps torrents for streaming—or at least hides his “stepsis” search better!

From a torrent blunder to a WiFi lockdown, this couple’s saga pulses with job stakes, gaming gripes, and a password power play. She’s guarding her career, he’s offline and ornery—both have a case, but communication might’ve unjammed this signal. Reddit’s split: some high-five her hustle, others ping her for skipping a talk. What would you do if your WiFi—and job—hung in the balance? Tap into the comments—share your fix, vent your view, or troubleshoot this tech-tinged tussle!

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