AITAH for ghosting a girl after she wouldn’t tell me if she had a kid?

The glow of a phone screen lit up late-night chats as a guy swiped through a dating app, sparking a month-long connection with a witty match. Their schedules clashed, but flirty texts and shared TikToks kept the vibe alive—until he spotted a kid in her posts. A casual question about it turned into a dodgeball game, leaving him curious and uneasy.

When a date finally loomed, he pressed for clarity, only to hit a wall of silence. Frustrated, he ghosted her, blocking her number after she sidestepped again. Was his exit a fair stand for honesty, or a hasty move that killed a budding spark? The dating dance took an unexpected twist, leaving him second-guessing amid a flurry of unanswered texts.

‘AITAH for ghosting a girl after she wouldn’t tell me if she had a kid?’

I started talking to a girl for a while after we matched on a dating app for about a month or so. We never could figure out a day to hang out because our schedules were always out of whack but we starting talking a lot. She would also send me tiktoks and Instagram posts and I noticed on her profiles she would have a kid in some of her posts like if it was her son.

I lightly tried to ask if that was her kid but she dodged the question at first and changed the subject. I thought it wasn't weird at first so I just brushed it off. We finally recently had some free time in our schedules and set up a date but I needed to know if she just was hiding the fact if she had a kid so I straight up asked her if she had a kid.

She immediately changed the subject and didn't respond to my question. At that point it was pretty obvious she didn't want to answer my question so I just ignored her. She kept on texting me and I said why doesnt she just answer the question she again changed the subject and I just blocked her immediately. AITAH?

Dating thrives on trust, and this guy’s decision to ghost stemmed from a breach in that trust. He asked a straightforward question about a potential deal-breaker—whether she had a kid—and her repeated evasions left him feeling misled. Both sides have a case: he sought transparency, while she might have feared judgment. The clash reveals how early communication can make or break a connection.

This scenario taps into a broader dating challenge: navigating personal boundaries and deal-breakers. Research shows honesty about lifestyle factors, like parenting, is key early on to avoid wasted time. Her social media hints suggested openness, but dodging the question fueled his suspicion. His choice to walk away reflects a need for clarity, though it might have been a knee-jerk reaction to an awkward moment rather than deceit.

Dr. Helen Fisher, a relationship expert, notes, “Transparency sets the stage for trust in new relationships.” Her insight suggests he had a right to ask, but ghosting might have been premature without a direct confrontation. A follow-up like, “This matters to me, can we talk?” could have clarified her intent—whether she was protecting privacy or hiding a truth. Her refusal to engage, though, justified his unease.

For solutions, experts recommend open dialogue. He could have set a boundary upfront about kids being a deal-breaker, saving both parties time. If she persists in avoiding answers, walking away is fair, but a clear goodbye beats ghosting.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s buzzing with opinions, from cheering his exit to debating ghosting etiquette. Here’s what the community said:

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crytidflower − NTA if she didn’t want you to meet her kid right away, that’d be one thing. But she shouldn’t be dodging the question of whether or not she has a kid.

FlayedBolton − NTA and here's why... Your boundaries are your boundaries. If a boundary you have is you aren't willing to date someone with kids, you have that right. You *should* make that plainly clear up front. Also, if you feel someone is being intentionally deceptive, which is what I take from this post, of course you have the right to bounce and ghost someone.

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[Reddit User] − That's not ghosting, sounds like you made it pretty clear why you were blocking her, as long as it was made clear why; it's not. Leaving things ambiguous and nopeing out is ghosting.

pineboxwaiting − NTA it’s not a hard question. She doesn’t want to tell you bc she suspects you don’t want to date someone with a kid. She shouldn’t evade that question. It’s pretty important.

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Dazzling_Walrus6224 − Nah, kids aren't something you hide. 🚩🚩🚩

[Reddit User] − NTA. She dodged you asking straight up if she had a kid? That's nuts. Like, there IS a correct answer to that question and if you guys hit it off and the relationship progressed at some point you would definitely know the answer. To me, that really reads like: Yeah, she's got a kid, she's tired of guys running the other way, she hoped to lure you in and get you hooked before you found out.

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mehlol42 − NTA. Some people don't want to date parents, and that's fine. It's strange that she would want to hide her child, but she also has the kid all over her social media. She should've given you a straight answer and asked if that was a deal breaker. There's no reason to waste eachothers time if it is!

rarsamx − Ghosting someone is almost always an AH thing to do. Except in cases of abuse or other safety concerns. If you say 'I'm not interested in talking any more. Good luck'. And that's your last message that's not ghosting. You don't owe any more explanations. In this case I don't think think you ghosted her. Even if you weren't 100% clear, you gave her the reason.. So NTA.

ConvivialKat − NTA. It's a simple question with only two possible answers. And she refused to use either of them. So, yep, time to eject.

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Zerilentix − NTA. No one gets to waste your time, a person having kids is an absolute deal breaker for me if I was looking to date. I would not even want to talk if I knew they had a kid, so yeah I feel like no one should get to waste your time. People can say it's cold but a lot of people have zero interest in someone with kids and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

These Reddit takes are spicy—do they capture the dating dilemma, or miss the nuance of his choice?

This dating detour shows how a simple question can derail a connection. His ghosting stemmed from a need for honesty, but it left a trail of unanswered “what-ifs.” Dating demands clear communication—did he overreact, or protect his peace? Would you ghost over a dodged question, or push for answers? Drop your thoughts below and share your dating deal-breaker rules!

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