AITA for telling my roommate her aspirations of being an influencer are “F pathetic”?

In a cramped apartment, a fiery exchange over dreams and dollars turned roommate harmony into chaos. Witnessing their overworked boyfriend’s breakdown, a fed-up roommate confronted the girlfriend’s pursuit of influencer fame, calling her latte-snapping, jobless aspirations “f**king pathetic.” Her defensive retort and the boyfriend’s hurt feelings left the air thick with tension. Was it a truth bomb or a low blow?

This isn’t just a roommate spat; it’s a raw clash of ambition, sacrifice, and brutal honesty. With Reddit weighing in on the influencer drama, the roommate’s left questioning their outburst. Step into this living room showdown and decide: were they justified, or did they cross a line?

‘AITA for telling my roommate her aspirations of being an influencer are “f pathetic”?’

 

I’ve lived with a couple for a little over a year and a half. I’m in my early 20’s, they’re in their early 30’s. The boyfriend works 2 minimum wage jobs, at least 50 hours a week in order to provide for the two of them as the girlfriend is striving to be an “influencer” and doesn’t have a job.

She spends most of her time taking pictures to post on Instagram and dming brands trying to get sponsorships. So far no income has come from this.. ​ Last week, the boyfriend had a complete breakdown (while the girlfriend wasn’t home) and tells me he’s exhausted from being extremely overworked.

He’s straight-up sobbing saying that even though he’s working back to back shifts, he still isn’t making enough money to support the both of them and (which I didn’t know about till now) her frivolous spending. He even had to ask his parents to help with this month’s rent.. ​. I felt really bad for the guy.. ​

Skip forward to last night and I’m sitting chatting with the girlfriend and the topic of money came up. She started to complain that they weren’t making enough money for her to do the things she wanted. I politely asked her if getting a job and doing the Instagram thing on the side was an option, and she immediately got defensive.

She told me that “of course that isn’t an option” and that she shouldn’t have to put her dreams on hold. Confused, I asked her what those dreams are. She said to inspire people. And then I said, which I probably shouldn’t have, “To do nothing?”.

She got really offended and said that there’s so much that goes into it that I could NEVER understand. I mean, the girl takes pictures of lattes and her in yoga poses. She doesn’t even edit them, just uses the default filters on the app.

I didn’t want to argue about the logistics of “influencing” so I instead brought up my concern for her boyfriend and told her that I think he may be overworking himself, he’s not happy, and he needs her help to support them financially.

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She says “Well, I don’t understand why we both have to be unhappy. At least one of us is pursuing our aspirations.” To that, I said, “Well if your aspirations are to do nothing while your partner busts their ass to support you, then your aspirations are f**king pathetic.”. ​

Later that evening I get a text from the boyfriend saying what I said crossed a line and now because of me, she thinks that he believes she does nothing and her “dreams” are pathetic.. ​. I feel bad but holy crap, I couldn’t just sit by and bite my tongue. AITA?

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Calling out a roommate’s unrealistic goals can spark change or chaos, and this Reddit user’s blunt takedown of their girlfriend’s influencer dreams landed squarely in the latter. The girlfriend’s refusal to contribute financially, despite her boyfriend’s overwork and breakdown, reflects an imbalanced partnership, and her dismissive “why should we both be unhappy” comment justified the roommate’s frustration. However, the harsh phrasing—“f**king pathetic”—escalated the conflict, alienating the boyfriend and complicating their living dynamic.

Influencer culture often breeds unrealistic expectations. A 2023 study by Influencer Marketing Hub found that only 4% of aspiring influencers earn a sustainable income, requiring significant investment and strategy. The girlfriend’s unedited posts and lack of traction suggest a hobby, not a career, burdening her partner unfairly.

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Relationship coach Dr. Terri Orbuch advises, “Honesty in shared spaces works best when paired with empathy”. The roommate could have framed concerns around the boyfriend’s well-being to avoid personal attacks.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit stormed this roommate drama with fiery support, roasting the girlfriend’s delusions while debating the roommate’s delivery. Here’s what the community had to say about this influencer takedown:

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[Reddit User] - NTA. He might not realize it yet, but you were a good friend to him. Hopefully, he’ll soon realize that she’s using him.

LAKingsofMetal - Man...this is one of the few times I wish we had a “justified a**hole” option... You may have crossed a line, but I’m hard pressed to give you any s**t for it. Although you may have to reconcile a bit with your friend, but I’m gonna say NTA.. Edit - wording

[Reddit User] - NTA. From your description, this couple is in some kind of toxic and potentially volatile co-dependency situation. However, you should tread very lightly, as anything even the slightest bit critical you say to a lazy narcissist will not register in a constructive manner.

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You might want to apologize for overstepping your bounds if that's viable. The boyfriend needs to look at the big picture and speak up. He's being abused. No one should suffer in silence. He might want to pursue counselling.. edit: spelling

sun_shine4 - While it probably wasn’t your business to say anything, good for you. I went from irritated to PISSED when she said she doesn’t understand why they both need to be unhappy. Tf? I have a whole rant over influencer culture, won’t get into that now. But this struck a nerve. NTA of course.

scrappy8350 - NTA. She IS pathetic, not just her aspirations. Being honest isn’t being an AH, it’s being honest.. I wish your friends would dump her for the sake of his mental AND physical health.

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HolyCrappolla123 - NTA she has no idea what she is doing. My BFF started a YouTube channel on the side, it’s a niche interest after x years they have enough subs to make about 10k from it. They don’t rely on that income, it’s fluid and changes month to month.

99.9% of people who call themselves an influencer or an entrepreneur are self absorbed morons that can’t function in real world jobs because they are assholes. Whether they are selfish, self absorbed, lazy, millennial-esque, refuse to follow rules,

refuse to work “menial” jobs, refuse to put their phone down, not good working with groups or coworkers, can’t be bothered to follow a basic dress code, won’t clean bathrooms, don’t show up to work on time, etc. It all goes under the category of “no” for all jobs.

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radio_ace - as someone who's schooling literally involves a class called 'media branding' what she thinks is media influencing is completely wrong? there's literally nothing about food pictures and yoga on instagram that counts as anything. nobody cares.

if she had a part time job she could probably buy products to test for people who are into what she's doing, go places and more! people like stuff that benefits them or offers them something of value. you need to have a defined brand. something that makes what she's doing different or better from anyone doing similar things.

a lot of the times with these kinds of 'dreams' you can't expect for it to happen over night. you normally end up putting TONS of money into advertising, buying things, and branding before you even make a cent back.... literally she just wants her instagram to have a lot of followers and to get free stuff and isn't actually an aspiring 'influencer'.

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[Reddit User] - I really want to say N / T / A - like I don't think really you said anything out of line, but I think you fumbled it by saying that to the girlfriend. You should of just told the guy to break up with his girlfriend, and made you case to him about why.

YTA, you initiated a fight in a relationship where you won't see the majority of the blowback, or they'll both gang up on you. It was just a stupid move for everyone involved, imo. The girlfriend is an a**hole too, but you got too far into their business.

brownies671 - NTA. Nothing wrong with being an influencer, but at the end of the day, she's leeching off of him. She's not putting her half of the effort into their relationship. Why does ANYONE have to be unhappy?

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Sneaky__Fox85 - NTA - Those dreams are pathetic for many reasons, not the least of which she's reaching for them from the breaking back of her (hopefully soon to be ex) boyfriend.

These spicy takes cheer the roommate’s honesty, but do they miss the fallout’s impact? Reddit’s clear: the girlfriend’s dreams don’t justify her leeching!

This roommate saga, sparked by a brutal jab at influencer ambitions, lays bare the tension of shared spaces and unequal burdens. The Reddit user’s “f**king pathetic” outburst was a raw cry for fairness, but its sting left their boyfriend caught in the crossfire. As the dust settles, the question lingers: was the truth worth the drama, or could a softer approach have worked? What would you do when a roommate’s dreams strain everyone else? Drop your stories, advice, or spicy takes below!

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