AITA for taking my girlfriend’s lasagna home when she said I could?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a cozy college apartment, the aroma of freshly baked lasagna fills the air, promising a week of savory dinners. But when a well-meaning boyfriend walks off with the entire tray, his girlfriend’s meal plan crumbles into a pile of instant noodles. This Reddit tale of a culinary misunderstanding has sparked heated debates online, with readers questioning where good intentions end and thoughtlessness begins. The story unfolds with a mix of miscommunication and budget woes, pulling us into the heart of a relatable relationship blunder.

The original poster, a college student living with his parents, thought he was simply sharing a delicious dish with his family. His girlfriend, however, is now scraping by, and Reddit’s weighing in on who’s to blame. The situation tugs at our sense of fairness—how far does permission extend, and when does common sense kick in? Let’s dive into this lasagna-laden drama and see what it reveals about communication and consideration in relationships.

‘AITA for taking my girlfriend’s lasagna home when she said I could?’

My girlfriend and I are both college students. She lives in an apartment on her own and I live with my parents. On Sunday, my girlfriend made homemade lasagna for our date night. She made everything from scratch, including the noodles. It was really good so after we finished I asked if I could take lasagna home for my family to try.

She said yes. When I left that night, I took the tray of lasagna with me. My girlfriend didn't walk me out so she didn't see me take the tray. On Monday, I got a text from my girlfriend asking where her lasagna was. I told her I had taken it home for my family.

She said 'I thought you were going to take SOME... not the whole thing. I spent most of my food budget for the week on it with the intention to eat leftovers for the rest of the week. Now I don't know what I'm going to eat.' I felt bad and apologized but pointed out that I had asked her if I could take it home and she didn't tell me that I couldn't take the whole tray.

She said it should have been obvious that I shouldn't take the whole thing since the tray was so big. To be fair to her, it was a really big tray (my family of 5 only just finished the tray yesterday after eating it for dinner both nights) but I don't think the size of the tray makes it obvious that I shouldn't take it.

Monday night and last night, my girlfriend complained that she had to eat instant noodles for dinner so that she wouldn't blow her food budget. Today, she is asking me if I can buy her a sandwich since I took her leftovers for the week.

It sucks that she spent her food budget on the lasagna but I think this is her fault for not being clear that I shouldn't take the whole thing. I don't think she is justified in asking me to buy her lunch because of it. She called me an a**hole for not being willing to help her out. AITA?

This lasagna saga is a classic case of miscommunication turning a kind gesture into a week of instant noodles. The boyfriend’s mistake wasn’t just taking the tray—it was failing to see the bigger picture of his girlfriend’s tight budget. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Small acts of consideration build trust, while overlooking a partner’s needs can erode it” (The Gottman Institute). Here, the boyfriend missed a chance to show care.

The girlfriend’s frustration stems from her expectation that “taking some” meant a portion, not the whole tray. The boyfriend, however, leaned on her literal permission, ignoring the unspoken social cue that a massive tray wasn’t meant for five people over two nights. This clash highlights a broader issue: assumptions in relationships can lead to unintended harm. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 68% of couples experience conflicts due to unclear communication (SAGE Journals).

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Dr Gottman’s advice emphasizes proactive empathy: “Ask questions to clarify intentions.” The boyfriend could have confirmed how much was okay to take, avoiding the fallout. For couples, this underscores the need to check in, especially when resources like money or food are at stake. A simple fix? He could offer to cover her meals for the week or invite her to share dinners with his family, turning a blunder into a bonding moment.

Moving forward, the boyfriend should prioritize restitution over defensiveness. Buying a sandwich or groceries isn’t just about food—it’s about showing he values her effort and situation. Couples can learn from this: clear communication and small gestures of accountability go a long way in keeping the peace.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one, serving up a feast of opinions with a side of sass. Here are the top takes from the community:

WeAllFloatDownHere_ − YTA - but only for not hooking her up with food to eat since you took her meal plan for the week. Like I get the miscommunication that happened but you should have fixed that issue immediately and helped her out with some real food, guy.

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[Reddit User] − YTA, big time.. Let's unpack this shitcase. You say it took two days/dinners for a family of 5 to eat the whole thing. That is *a lot* of food and common sense should tell you that it's pretty rude to take that much. Keep in mind that, according to this math, you have taken **ten whole meals** from this poor girl.

NOW shes eating only instant noodles!? Those are only ~300 calories and have almost 0 vitamins/minerals. Your girlfriend is literally starving, and you refuse to buy her a sandwich. Forget the fact that this is all your fault, who does this in general!?

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Even if it were her fault, you're fine with her literally starving!? And on top of this all, you say your girlfriend texted you Monday night about your mistake, but your family only just finished it eating it for dinner last night? As in, Tuesday night? SO YOU DIDN'T EVEN RETURN THE LASAGNA AFTER SHE POINTED OUT THE MISTAKE!?

apathyontheeast − YTA. Almost went for NAH, because it's an innocent enough misunderstanding, but got to this:. I don't think she is justified in asking me to buy her lunch because of it. 1 - You're not willing to do a little compromise over a misunderstanding.

That bodes really poorly for a future relationship.. 2 - The fact that you think she needs a justification is, itself, concerning.. 3 - You got defensive and tried to double-down over an innocent mistake. That's not a flattering look.

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[Reddit User] − YTA. Whenever you're taking some food to go, it's understood thta you'll take a plate or a Tupperware with 1 or 2 portions, not the whole tray. She shouldn't have to specify because it's a given, she made the lasagna and if there was enough for your family to eat 2 dinners off it, it was a lot..

backstageninja − YTA. Even if the original mistake could be forgiven (You said take it home for them to *try*, that seems like you wouldn't need 10 whole servings) but you doubled down on the mistake by refusing to buy her one meal when you ostensibly took at least 5 away from her. You knew she didn't have enough money and refused to remedy a problem *you* created through a(n honest) mistake.

-ReapzZ − YTA, for one, taking a massive tray of lasagna knowing your GF is on a budget and she lives in her own apartment. For two, it seems like you're making it a big deal to buy her some food for the week, let alone a single sandwich. $20-30 goes a long way in terms of food for a single person to eat.. For three, I'm sure you could easily invite her over to have dinner with you and your family.. I'm also tempted to think this is a SHP.

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incogneatolady − YTA You asked if you could take lasagna for your family to TRY. No reasonable person would assume you’d take the whole thing and feed your family of FIVE for two nights! Why did they have to have it twice?

That’s not trying that’s just eating, trying it would have been one serving for each person MAYBE. You could have forgone eating it since you had already had it. Honestly you are incredibly inconsiderate. You should help her out. And you need to be more cognizant of what you’re doing.

dreambg − YTA. And you're rude. You took her meals for the week and you're on Reddit after she asked you for a sandwich? Duuuuuude, grow up quickly before she dumps you. It is on YOU not on her to confirm she's gifting you full meals for your whole large family.

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It was YOU who asked to take the lasagna. She didn't offer and she never planned on feeding your large family for two nights! Taking some for a taste is what normal not-entitled people mean when they ask to take food to their families. You took enough food for 10 meals?

What the heck were you thinking?? I'm a tad worried about your upbringing considering nobody in your large family appears to have sent your girlfriend a thank you on Sunday night - if they did, your girlfriend would know where the lasagna went. You may be able to turn into NTA if you more than make-up for YOUR mistake.

Your family got 10 dinner meals out of it. You owe your girlfriend at least $100. I'm sure it didn't cost her $100 to make it but you're also paying for the hours it took her to make it and for hours to learn that skill in the first place. You're an inconsiderate rude a**hole if you do anything short of $100,

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and a kind gift to say you're sorry about YOUR misunderstanding. And don't tell me you don't have the money. You should have thought about that before you stole your girlfriend's meals for the week. Your family saved money for easting it so maybe your parents can lend you the cash...

sjsyed − YTA You took all her food for the WEEK and are whining about having to pay for a sandwich? What’s wrong with you? And the fact that you’re blaming someone (who again, lost her food for the week) for not bring clear enough when you took the whole damn tray?. Who does that? How about you weren’t clear enough?

Because no one assumes that guests will take ALL the food home with them. Why didn’t you confirm with her before you left that you were taking the whole tray? It didn’t seem like a lot of food to you? It didn’t seem weird that a college student living on her own would be okay with giving a family of five enough to eat for two days, considering she paid for everything herself?

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Do you have any idea how expensive it is to live on your own? Oh that’s right, you don’t, because you live with your family. Who presumably pay for the food you eat. (Do you even pay rent?). You’re a ginormous AH. And incredibly selfish, to boot. Buy her some groceries, dude.

tessah22 − YTA. Hardcore. Buy the girl a damn sandwich.

These Redditors aren’t mincing words, but do their spicy takes hold up? Is it really “common sense” to take just a slice, or did the girlfriend’s vague permission set the stage for this mess?

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This lasagna fiasco shows how quickly a small misunderstanding can spiral into a week of instant noodles and hurt feelings. The boyfriend’s misstep wasn’t just about food—it was about overlooking his girlfriend’s reality. Reddit’s verdict leans hard on accountability, but the story leaves room for growth if both sides talk it out. What would you do if you were in this couple’s shoes? Share your thoughts—would

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