AITA for refusing to pay for my best friend’s dinner?

In the glow of a posh restaurant’s chandeliers, a night of fine dining turned into a bitter clash over a hefty bill. A 21-year-old Reddit user, used to picking up tabs for her best friend Acie, drew the line at an upscale eatery when Acie expected her to foot the entire cost. With Acie flaunting gift money but saving it for bling, the user’s offer to split the bill ignited accusations of being a privileged brat. Hurt, she paid her half and walked out.

This isn’t just about a pricey meal; it’s a sizzling tale of friendship, entitlement, and financial boundaries. As Acie’s social media rants paint the user as a villain, Reddit’s weighing in on who’s really at fault. Grab a seat at this dramatic dinner table and decide: was she stingy, or was Acie’s freeloading the main course?

‘AITA for refusing to pay for my best friend’s dinner?’

I (21F) have never had troubles when it comes to money. I come from a financially comfortable family, and am shortly planning to move abroad for further education, post which I'll settle down there. Since high school, I've been working so I could be independent.

However, my dad has graciously offered to pay for my postgraduate degree abroad to prevent me from being stuck with a study loan, and we worked out that I'd pay him back eventually. I am putting this bit of information here not to brag but because it's relevant later.

So, I've had this best friend since middle school. We'll call her Acie. While she doesn't come from a lot of money, her family is financially stable. Acie however hasn't started working yet, and she completely depends on her parents.

She has pretty expensive tastes, far more than what her parents can afford to pay for at times. Everything she owns has to be branded. She even judges me when I buy jewellery from the flea market, as she thinks it's tacky and cheap. She's an only child, but not too long ago, parents decided to cut her off.

Ever since then, she's had me pick up her tabs whenever we hang out. I didn't mind first, as the restaurants we were going to were affordable. Acie had wanted to try this fine dining restaurant at the expensive side of the city for a while, and we had a huge festival (cultural) going on.

This happened approximately two weeks ago. I assumed that we would go Dutch as previously, Acie was boasting about how much money she'd received from relatives as a gift during the festival. However, soon as we were handed the bill, Acie looked at me expectantly.

She used to ask earlier if I could cover her, but she got so in the habit of me paying that she just waited for me to do it without even asking. I laughed and told her I couldn't afford to pay all of it, and we'd have to pay for our own parts. She told me to pay this time as she didn't have any money.

I asked her about the checks she'd received as gifts, and she told me she was saving them up to buy a gold necklace. I told her I was willing to split it instead of paying for only my part. She had ordered a lot more than me, but I didn't want to argue over it longer.

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This pissed her off, and she told me I was being stuck up and since I was 'rich', I should be the one paying. I told her that I was paying for the meal out of my own pocket, not my parents', but she mentioned that my dad was going to pay my tuition and said I was entitled, privileged and bratty for that.

And since he was helping me with moving abroad, I could afford to spend a little. She also accused me of not caring for her or our friendship. I was so upset at that point that I put cash worth half the bill on the table and left.

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Later, I learned that her dad had to bail her out. And she has been posting about me on social media, and making me feel bad for abandoning her like that. So I don't know if I should have left the way I did.. Aita?

A night out shouldn’t end with a friendship on the chopping block, but this Reddit user’s clash with Acie over a restaurant bill sliced deep. The user’s willingness to split the bill was fair, especially since Acie had money but chose to prioritize a luxury purchase. Acie’s accusations of entitlement, leveraging the user’s tuition support, reveal a manipulative streak that soured a long-time bond.

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This reflects broader issues in friendships over finances. A 2023 survey by Bankrate found that 42% of Americans have ended friendships over money disputes, often due to unequal expectations. Acie’s habit of relying on the user’s generosity without reciprocation crosses a line into exploitation.

Friendship expert Dr. Irene S. Levine notes, “Healthy friendships thrive on mutual respect, not one-sided demands”. The user was right to set a boundary, but a calmer discussion about expectations could have softened the blow.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this dinner drama, serving up spicy takes with a side of snark. Here’s what the community had to say about this bill-splitting showdown:

Caspian4136 - NTA but I wouldn't really consider her your friend at this point. She's been using you to pay for going out to eat and being an entitled spoiled brat about it. When you finally had enough and put your foot down, she throws a fit.

You didn't 'abandon' her. She' s a big girl and needs to start paying her own way. If she can't afford it, too bad for her. You're not responsible for her poor financial planning. Stop going out to eat with her and find some friends that don't use you.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. Your former friend has a misplaced sense of entitlement to your money. That being said… you kind of set yourself up for this. For no reason at all, you anticipated that your friend would behave differently this time. She anticipated that you would behave the same. You were both wrong.

kingofspookyseason - NTA. This isn't your best friend. Best friends don't leech off of each other. This person has been taking advantage of your circumstances.. Save yourself some money and a whole lotta headache and ditch the user.

Strong_Amazon - NTA. Your friend has been taking advantage of your good nature for years. Hopefully that was the last time.. Good luck with your study abroad.

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AbstractUnicorn - NTA. Ah yes, the good old 'you don't value our friendship because you won't let me freeload off you' ploy!

SquirrellyDog2016 - 'I asked her about the checks she'd received as gifts, and she told me she was saving them up to buy a gold necklace.'. That should tell you right there that you and she have different priorities in life. It appears you've matured as you've aged while she hasn't.

She's being completely selfish and acting like a spoiled teenager. She isn't your responsibility. You don't owe her a damned thing. Friendship is a two-way street and your friendship with her is only going one way. What she's doing is a manipulative tactic, trying to guilt you into doing what she wants.

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She most likely isn't conscious of it. Her parents have cut her off and she's looking to her friend to bail her out. If you don't stand your ground and you cave to her demands, you're actually hurting her. She'll never grow up and learn how to stand on her own two feet.

Sometimes, as we age, friendships we have as children don't survive adulthood. Please don't feel guilty if you feel you want to distance yourself from her for a while. What she's doing is toxic behavior that is detrimental to your mental well being.

If you have no contact for a while, you're going to find that she's been a heavy burden to carry and you'll feel a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. The only way she's going to get her act together if she's forced to. In closing, definitely NTA.

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I wish you the best of luck with continuing on the educational path you've chosen. From one adult who is old enough to be your grandmother, you sound like a very intelligent and caring woman. Always listen to your gut instinct. It won't steer you wrong.

BeastOGevaudan - NTA - She EXPECTS you to pay at an expensive place? Who's she calling entitled?

kats1945 - NTA. However your 'friend' is.

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bluebunny8172 - NTA it’s soooo ironic how she’s calling YOU entitled and bratty 😂

HootblackDesiato - NTA.. You are not a friend to her, but an ATM. Time to turn off the cash flow.

These fiery opinions roast Acie’s entitled antics, but do they capture the full flavor of this friendship fallout? Reddit’s clear: friends don’t let friends freeload!

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This tale of a fancy dinner gone wrong dishes out a hearty lesson in friendship and fairness. The Reddit user’s stand against footing Acie’s bill was a bold move to reclaim her boundaries, but it cost her a childhood friend’s goodwill. As Acie’s social media jabs linger, the question remains: was splitting the bill a fair play, or should she have covered it one last time? What would you do when a friend expects a free ride? Drop your stories, advice, or spicy takes below!

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