AITA For cancelling someone visiting me when they’ve been late for 6hrs?

Picture this: you’re chilling at home, ready for a cozy sleepover with a friend who lives just a bike ride away. Lunchtime passes, and they text—they just woke up, gotta do chores, no biggie. But hours drag on, promises of “6-7 p.m.” come and go, and by 6 p.m., you’re starving and steaming. Six hours late? Nope! You pull the plug, needing space to cool off, and their reply? “Aw, I packed.”

Ouch—the sting of wasted time clashes with a friend’s nonchalance. After a heartfelt talk, they own up, but the wait still smarts. Was cancelling too harsh, or a fair stand for respect? Reddit’s buzzing with takes, and we’re diving into this tardy tale of boundaries and buddies. Let’s unpack the drama!

‘AITA For cancelling someone visiting me when they’ve been late for 6hrs?’

Here’s the unfiltered scoop, straight from Reddit’s friendship files. A sleepover plan unravels as a friend’s delay tests patience—check the full story:

A friend wanted to visit my house, so we made plans for them to visit my place for a sleepover. It was just a casual thing we do ever so often. In fact they live a bike ride away—very close by. They were to get here after lunch, and at 1pm I got a message saying they just woke up. Followed by them saying they’ll do some chores first.

I said sure, I’m just home anyway, what’s an hour or so between friends? 4pm they said they’ll arrive around 6-7pm. And by that point I was already upset since it took four hours for them to say they’d be here even later. I thought I could be patient, but no I was already getting hungry for dinner and at 6pm they still werent here.

So I told them we should just cancel this whole sleepover. I said to them I was upset, and I didn’t want to take it out on them so I would like space to just process my feelings. Their reply was “Aw, I already packed.” Am I the a**hole for cancelling the sleepover to process how upset it made me they were six hours late?.

[UPDATE] They pushed through with the call (by that i mean they asked to call me earlier, they took a while, but they were able to in the end): they explained to me what happened (they assumed that it would be okay to wait four hours cus i was just at my place, and ok to wait two more for their ride to get them).

I explained how it made me feel, why that made me feel that way, and what i would like to be done. They didnt realise they were being selfish and inconsiderate, they genuinely said sorry, said they’ll avoid it happening again (“actually i think i should fix this, i might have done this to my brother once too”)

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And asked me what they could do in the future in case they take a long time in something again. I said to keep me posted, text me regularly at least cus i didnt know what was happening in those 6hrs, maybe they were having an emergency, maybe they were practicing rhe marimba. Idk!

TLDR; two adults had open and honest communication about the issue (one of those adults, me, was worried asking for boundaries was an a**hole thing to do) and the adult at fault took accountability.

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Waiting for a friend can feel like watching paint dry, and this six-hour delay turned a chill sleepover into a frustration fest. The host, home all day, gave leeway—chores, sure, an hour’s fine—but 1 p.m. stretched to 6 p.m. with vague updates. Cancelling to avoid snapping was mature, and their later talk, with apologies and promises, mended fences. A rocky but real resolution!

Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner notes in a 2024 Psychology Today article, “Respecting time builds trust; chronic lateness signals disregard” (Source). Studies show 40% of friendships strain over unreliable behavior, per the Journal of Social Psychology (Source).

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The friend’s assumption—host’s home, so delays are fine—missed the mark. The host’s boundary was spot-on; the friend’s accountability is a win. Moving forward, agree on updates—like texts every hour if delayed. If lateness persists, rethink plans.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s posse rolled in with fiery takes—snappy, raw, and ready to roast this latecomer’s lag. Here’s the crowd dishing on time, respect, and sleepover snubs:

sunrise_library − NTA. 6 hours is too much to take from anyone. You did the right thing.

squigs − NTA. Doesn't sound like they wanted to come anyway.

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Churchie-Baby − NTA I hate poor time keepers it drives me mad sat waiting when they just get later and later and no apology either.

ApprehensiveTruth330 − NTA. Your friend was very rude. It also strikes me as pretty insulting that they'd rather be at home and working than keep a 'date' with a friend. I'd be questioning the friendship if I learned that I ranked lower than doing the laundry.

You're NTA for taking space to avoid blowing up on them... But you'd be an ah to yourself if you keep letting this person treat you like an afterthought. You should calmly confront them about their inconsiderate behavior.

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gayforaliens1701 − NTA. They were incredibly rude to ignore your plans that much, especially missing dinner time, and you did the mature thing by telling them that you were upset and didn’t want to take it out on them. It’s not great that they didn’t even apologize after you told them that. You handled it just the right way!

sarcosaurus − NTA. I'd have canceled at 3PM. You probably need to either call them, or at least tell them the next time you see them, that you're not okay with them making you wait for them for hours. It's blatant disrespect for your time. You weren't born to sit around waiting for them all day.

jbfitnessthrowaway − NTA. This person is so out of touch.

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[Reddit User] − NTA!. By the way, kudos on setting boundaries. Was your friend being (inexcusably) late a one-time thing, or have they always been inconsiderate of your time? If it’s the latter, it would be time to rethink that friendship.

Bledwards25 − NTA - 6 Hours so far to long, did they apologise for being late.

grckalck − NTA. They cancelled it about six hours before you did.

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These hot takes sizzle, but do they stick? Was the host right to bail, or too quick to cancel?

What a wait—a six-hour delay turned a sleepover into a showdown, with a hungry host pulling the plug to keep cool! The friend’s “I packed” plea didn’t soothe the sting, but their later apology and vow to do better patched things up. Reddit’s cheering boundaries but eyeing the friend’s flakiness. Was cancelling a bold move or a touch dramatic? How would you handle a friend who leaves you hanging for hours? Spill your thoughts, stories, and timekeeping tips—let’s get this chat rolling!

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