AITA for demanding my stepdaughter to pay for my daughter’s wedding dress that she ruined?

In a cozy home filled with memories of two sisters raised as one, a joyous wedding plan unraveled into a nightmare of jealousy and betrayal. A mother watched her daughter’s dream day tarnished when her $700 wedding dress, a heartfelt gift, was found slashed to ribbons. The culprit? Her competitive stepdaughter, whose envy over her sister’s earlier wedding date boiled over into a shocking act of sabotage. The mother’s demand for repayment ignited a family firestorm, leaving hearts and fabric in tatters.

This tale of sibling rivalry gone too far unfolds with raw emotion, as a mother fights for justice while navigating a fractured family. The stepdaughter’s tearful apology and claims of mental struggles complicate the drama, but Reddit’s verdict is fierce. Was the mother right to demand accountability, or did her confrontation cut too deep? Step into this saga where love, loyalty, and a ruined gown collide.

‘AITA for demanding my stepdaughter to pay for my daughter’s wedding dress that she ruined?’

I'm a mother of 2. My biological Daughter (22) and my stepdaughter (23). Both girls grew upon together and my husband passed away years ago. My stepdaughter has a competitive personality. She's always in race with my daughter in everything from simple achievements like getting higher grades to bugger achievements like graduating, owning a car, getting engaged first.

My daughter doesn't care about being first or last, not only is she not the competitive type but she's also non confrontational so I sometimes find it necessary to step in and tell my stepdaughter to stop making her sister feel like she's in a race with her and complaining about stuff my daughter got to do first.

My daughter got engaged when her stepsister has already been engaged and for 8 months. The problem began when my daughter announced her wedding date despite being engaged for just 2 months. My stepdaughter didn't like that and tried to get ahead and plan her wedding ass soon as possible but couldn't find a venue with a date earlier than my daughter.

My stepdaughter tried convincing my daughter to slow down and put off the wedding but it's impossible since everything has been set. My daughter is getting married at the end of Aug. She bought a $700 wedding dress that me and my stepdaughter saw.

My stepdaughter got mad and had meltdown and ghosted us for a week then came to visit while my daughter was staying with me acting calm and nice. She excused herself to the bathroom when we had dinner then came back and said her fiance was outside and she needed to leave. It was strange that she left in a hurry.

My daughter entered her room and found her wedding dress cut to pieces from below to the waist. We were in dismay we figured it was my stepdaughter who did this since she couldn't do anything about the face my daughter was getting married before her. My daughter broke down I confronted my stepdaughter in front of her fiance and she denied and yelled at me.

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I told her I knew she did it and handed her the bill for the dress she ruined out of spite and demanded she pay for a new one. Her fiance picked an argument and got everyone involved after I threatened with court. My stepdaughter then apologized blaming it on mental issues but said she can't use the wedding money to pay my daughter $700.

They tried talking me into paying then they pay me in a matter of months or asking my daughter to postpone til after my stepdaughter's wedding but I didn't accept since my daughter then will have to lose more. It's been days and they're trying to negotiate. (In case it's relevant. The wedding dress was paid for by me as s gift for my daughter and because the damage took place at my house then I feel I should be doing something about it)

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A wedding dress slashed out of spite? That’s not just a family spat—it’s a deliberate stab at someone’s joy. The stepdaughter’s act, fueled by her competitive streak, crossed a line from rivalry to destruction, leaving the mother to pick up the pieces. Her demand for repayment is less about the $700 and more about holding her stepdaughter accountable for a cruel betrayal.

Dr. Pauline Boss, an expert in family dynamics, notes in Family Stress Management that “destructive behaviors in families often stem from unresolved competition or perceived inequities” (American Psychological Association). The stepdaughter’s sabotage reflects deep-seated resentment, likely intensified by her inability to secure an earlier wedding date. Boss suggests such acts signal a need for boundaries and, in extreme cases, professional intervention.

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This incident highlights broader issues of sibling rivalry in blended families. A 2021 study by the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 27% of step-siblings report competitive conflicts, often escalating when milestones like weddings are at stake. The stepdaughter’s meltdown and subsequent denial suggest emotional volatility that demands accountability, not excuses.

The mother’s response was justified, but a calmer approach, like proposing a payment plan, might have de-escalated the confrontation. Moving forward, she could insist on therapy for her stepdaughter as a condition of family reconciliation, alongside repayment. Uninviting her from the wedding, as Reddit suggests, may prevent further sabotage. The mother’s protective instinct is valid, and firm boundaries will safeguard her daughter’s big day and future family harmony.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crowd stormed in like a wedding crashers’ convention, serving up fiery takes with no holds barred. Here’s the raw scoop from the community:

garthastro − NTA. Stand Your Ground.. Your stepdaughter has f**ked around. Now it's time for her to find out.

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TinyRascalSaurus − NTA. Give them an ultimatum. They pay or destruction of property is reported to the police. In a lot of places 700 is in the felony range. Hopefully that will drive home the seriousness of the crime. Your stepdaughter acted out of spite and needs to face consequences.

princessofperky − NTA this is beyond competition. There's something seriously wrong with your stepdaughter. Either way she has to be uninvited to the wedding. Theres a good chance she'll try something else. Maybe have security present. For the dress tell her shr either pays up or you press charges or take her to small claims court.. And maybe have cameras installed

Amaranth_Addams − NTA. Even people with mental illnesses need to understand that actions have consequences. She needs to repay her step sister for the dress AND get therapy. She can work out a payment plan if her budget is that tight.

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Also do not let her near anything that has to do with your daughter's wedding, to the point of uninviting her. If she's capable of destroying her sister's wedding dress, she's capable of destroying the ceremony and/or reception.

Ashl3y95 − NTA.. Should just call the police and sue her for emotional damages and property theft/damages.

Jintess − NTA you're going to have to take her to court. Realize this is going to mean she is no longer going to be part of your life (but is that such a loss?) You probably won't see a dime but I wouldn't back down if I were you. That was just cruel.

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Basking_Beryl − NTA. I would report them **both** She ruined the dress, and he was the accomplice/getaway driver and he's a police officer?? please report him too since we have enough s**tty police covering up for their friends and trying to intimidate their victims out of filing report.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your stepdaughter behavior is extremely disturbing. You and your daughter should seriously going NC after this. What will happen if your daughter gets pregnant before she does? I could see a situation where see 'accidentally ' knocks your daughter down the stairs.

crash063 − NTA. Go to to the police and explain what happened and if there is anything they can do in the way of charging her for damage to property. $700 worth of damages is hefty and your stepdaughter did it deliberately to torment your daughter. This is way beyond simple 'competition' to be the best and first.

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She is beyond a 'mental health issue'. She won't stop with this distructive behavior until she is either taken to small claims court or she is charged for destruction of property over $500. Serious charges. Good luck and stay safe. Your daughter might want to consider a restraining order too. The police might suggest it right away too.

rez2metrogirl − NTA. I do have a suggestion though. Whatever financial contribution you were planning for stepdaughter’s wedding, subtract the $700. If her budget is really that tight, she can postpone and save her own money to makeup the difference.

Reddit’s rallying behind the mother, cheering her stand while urging legal action or cutting ties with the stepdaughter. Some see the dress-slashing as a red flag for deeper issues, suggesting therapy or no contact. But do these hot takes miss the complexity of family ties, or are they spot-on?

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This story of a shredded wedding dress exposes the raw edge of family rivalry, where jealousy turned a sisterly bond into a battlefield. The mother’s demand for repayment defends her daughter’s joy but risks severing family ties for good. Actions have consequences, but how do you balance justice with family loyalty? Have you ever faced a family betrayal this intense? Share your thoughts—would you press for payment or seek another path to mend the rift?

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