AITA For skipping guy’s night because the host’s wife was there?

Picture a long-overdue guys’ night: cold beers, greasy pepperoni pizza, and old friends laughing in a cozy apartment. But the vibe sours when the host’s wife, Kim, texts with a curveball—demanding fancy pizzas from across town, crashing a night meant for the guys. A 30-something friend, tasked with grabbing the grub, pushes back, only to be called selfish. Frustrated, he bails, turning a chill evening into a Reddit-fueled debate.

This AITA post is a spicy mix of friendship, boundaries, and a pizza feud that’s anything but cheesy. The man, fed up with Kim’s takeover, wonders if skipping the night was a jerk move or a stand for sanity. Let’s dive into this tale of crashed plans and pepperoni pride with a grin and a nod to old-school hangouts.

‘AITA For skipping guy’s night because the host’s wife was there?’

So I have a pretty tight group of friends that have all been together r since elementary school. All early 30s now. Lately with people getting married and our careers we haven’t had much time to spend together. So one of my friends suggested a long overdue guy’s night.

Just pizza and beers and catching up at a buddy’s place. I said that I would order and pay for the pizza from our usual spot. So the day of guy’s night, I get a text from the host’s wife (We’ll call her Kim), asking me to pick up some pizza on the other end of the city.

At first I was confused and then I found out that she basically just cancelled her plans with her girlfriends to interject herself into our guy’s night. I told her that the place she wants to pick up from is on the other end of the city, plus we already had a place to order from.

Kim had wanted to order a bunch of these super expensive, tiny thin-crust hipster pizzas. I tell Kim that we’re a bunch of dudes that just want some regular filling pepperoni pizza to eat while we have a few drinks. The host texts me after to just say, “Yeah, go ahead and just get the regular, its way easier.”

So we go ahead and order the regular stuff. While I’m driving to his place, I get a message form Kim that reads something like the following: “I think you’re being really selfish here. I wanted to share something with you guys that I found amazing and have a new experience with you,

but you decided that you just have to make this all about yourself. You know that Host isn’t going to say no to anyone and you’re just being mean to get your way.” I told Kim , “Just cancel the order, get whatever you want. I’m out” and turned around and drove back home.

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To clarify, I wasn’t upset about not getting my choice of food, but at the fact that Kim not only invited herself to what she knew was a guy’s night and then started making demands about food for us and telling me to pick up the food that she wants when she was also off of work at this time.

Kim is a bit of a spoiled princess that’s used to getting everything she wants. So I decided not to go, because if she was already getting this upset over something like pizza, then I don’t want to spend one of my nights off around her. None of the guys were upset, they wanted me to come but understood why I bailed.

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One last thing is we all hang our pretty regularly as a group anyways. So Kim sees us all once every week or so anyways. It's not that the guy's never get to see each-other, but we just haven't had a guy's only night in nearly a year.. Am I The A**hole for not just going along with this to have a peaceful evening?

This pizza-fueled fallout reveals the tricky balance of maintaining group traditions when boundaries get blurry. Kim’s decision to crash guys’ night and dictate the menu, then guilt-trip the OP, shows a lack of respect for the group’s plans. The OP’s exit, while abrupt, was a stand for the night’s original vibe, which his friends supported.

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Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert, notes, “Healthy friendships thrive on mutual respect for boundaries and shared expectations”. Kim’s actions—canceling her plans to insert herself—disrupted a rare gathering, reflecting control rather than inclusion. Studies show 60% of adults value exclusive social time with close friends for mental well-being.

This highlights broader issues of navigating spousal involvement in friend groups. The OP could suggest future guys’ nights at a neutral spot, like a bar, to avoid repeats. Dr. Levine advises clear communication: “Discuss plans openly to align expectations.”

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s crew brought the heat, dishing out quips and support like slices at a pizza party gone wrong.

mjsbunny − NTA. As a woman, I genuinely don't understand women like this. When I was married, I would actively encourage my husband to have his 'boy time', because I thought it was important. I totally get why you dropped out,

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and it's good that no one gave you any s**t for it. But what happens the next time you all arrange a guy's night? Is she going to re-insert herself? Or are you going to mitigate that by having it at someone else's house?

Wikidess − NTA. I found out that she basically just cancelled her plans with her girlfriends to interject herself into our guy’s night. That's not cool. If her plans fell through and she just had no where else to be, then it would be different because of course you can't just banish her from her home for your guys night.

But even if plans did fall through and I had to intrude on my husbands guys night, I would be as go with the flow as possible. Not trying to change things and making demands. “I think you’re being really selfish here. I wanted to share something with you guys that I found amazing

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and have a new experience with you, but you decided that you just have to make this all about yourself. Then why the f**k didn't SHE go get the pizza? O.o I couldn't imagine being like omg I want to share this with you - go out of your way and stop and pick it up for me yeah?

plsdontno − NTA. I mean, you're a lil bit of an ass for the clickbaity/misleading title - you didn't skip just because she was there. You skipped because she was being insufferably controlling and seemed to be right on track for ruining 'guy's night'...it'd be one thing if she just happened to be there, at her home (as the title implied -_-);

it's another thing when she's sending demands about food. She also seems to lack self awareness: 'I think you’re being really selfish here. [I'm not getting my way and I don't like it.] I wanted to share something with you guys that I found amazing and have a new experience with you, but you decided that you just have to make this all about yourself.

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[I wanted to insert myself in/take over this night, and you're not letting me. Bad!]* You know that Host isn’t going to say no to anyone and you’re just being mean to get your way.[My partner isn't letting me steamroll this either, f**k you both.]'. Their relationship must be fun.

thesixthamethyst − NTA. I bet Kim's husband is pretty embarrassed, but doesn't want to rock the boat in his marriage. And I get that. However, he maybe should've suggested going out when he realized his wife planned on being at home.

If my husband was having a boys night at our house, I don't think I'd actively 'hide' from the group in my own home, but I definitely wouldn't jump in and try to take over. Next time, push to have the boys night at a bar or pizza place. And if that point Kim still tries to push her way in, well then...Kim's husband has got problems.

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AppState1981 − ' I wanted to share something with you guys that I found amazing and have a new experience with you ' If it was that important to her, she would have gotten it herself. There is nothing worse than a spoiled prince/princess at a guys night. For instance, my friend cannot pop out for a beer. He needs an hour to get ready for anything so spontaneous events are out.

Mr_Froggy0 − NTA, I was originally going to say that you were the a**hole. But after hearing how selfish that person was, I can't blame you. You made the right decision to bail, if you don't want that stuck up person to ruin one of your traditions.

M_Minkoff − NTA. It was supposed to be guys' night. Not only did your buddy's wife insert herself and try to change the plans (and make you adapt to them), it's kinda creepy that she actually cancelled her own plans to do so.

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I don't get why some women are so insecure that they cant even let their SOs have friends or even have any experiences without them. That's super unhealthy and controlling and generally not cool. (Edited to add that I'm a woman, not that it matters beyond the fact that women who behave this way strike me as totally ridiculous)

stpiet81 − NTA. Guy’s night is guy’s night. End of story. Your friend should have made this clear to his wife.

Fuck-that-shit-bro − NTA she shouldn’t have invited herself out and then changed all the plans.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. When I first read the title I was gonna tear you a new one, because I assumed that the hosts wife was just there and you can't exactly ask someone to leave their home for you. But oh lord. Look, I'm a woman, with a Male partner. He has very few, select friends.

If they all get together at our house - I literally don't care, and don't wanna know. Leave me be in peace somewhere. All I ask is that I get offered a beer occasionally, and I will most likely be in our back yard, on my chair, smoking my cigs and on my phone. If you have a problem with that, well tough s**t.

Christ on a bike though! She had a girls night planned and she bailed because she wanted it to be a 'new experience' for all you guys? No. Just being a nosey cow. THEN she makes demands for hippy pizza?! Nope. She could have done that with her girlfriends. The f**k is she smoking cos I want some.. Seriously, NTA. I feel sorry for your friend.

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These Reddit takes are piping hot, but do they cut to the core of this guys’ night drama? Was the OP’s bailout justified, or too dramatic?

This tale of a crashed guys’ night shows how fast a chill hangout can turn into a topping-tossed tantrum. The OP’s stand against Kim’s demands saved his night but stirred the pot. Friendships need space to breathe, especially when pizza and beers are at stake. Have you ever had a group hangout hijacked? What would you do in this guy’s shoes? Toss your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo rolling!

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