WIBTA for not paying the entire bill on a first date on Tinder?

Jonathan Hours
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Imagine swiping right, landing a Tinder date, and rolling into a restaurant your match picked, expecting a chill night of chat and bites. Our guy’s ready for a fair split—no word of a free ride—when, bam, his date bolts after the meal at the mere whisper of “split the check”! He’s left stunned, fork in hand, staring at her empty seat, the bill looming like an uninvited guest. This wasn’t his treat, and now he’s torn: pay up or pass her name and number to the restaurant?

Sweet karma steps in—the bartender spills that she’s got an open tab, driver’s license and all, and shifts her food costs over. She’s likely next door, chasing free drinks! Was he wrong to consider outing her, or is this a dine-and-dash disaster? Buckle up for a wild dating tale!

‘WIBTA for not paying the entire bill on a first date on Tinder?’

This Tinder twist dishes drama, dollars, and a dash of justice, blending modern dating with a bill battle. Here’s the original Reddit post, serving the full scoop on this check-split chaos:

I recently went on a Tinder date with a woman at a restaurant she chose for our first meetup. Initially, I suggested a casual coffee date to keep things simple and low-pressure, but she preferred this restaurant, and I agreed to go along with her choice.

We never discussed who would pay for the meal, and I assumed, as is common in modern dating, that we’d each cover our own share unless explicitly stated otherwise. I’m not the type of person who expects anything in return for paying for a date, and my intention was simply to enjoy a meal together and get to know each other.

Everything seemed fine until the bill arrived, and I brought up the idea of splitting the check, given we hadn’t agreed I’d treat her. To my shock, she immediately got up and walked out, leaving me sitting at the table alone. I was stunned—she didn’t say a word, just left, effectively dining and dashing on her portion of the bill.

I’m now faced with a dilemma: should I separate the checks, pay for my share, and leave her name and phone number with the restaurant to handle her portion? I feel she’s responsible for her own meal, especially since she suggested the place and then abandoned me without paying.

I’m torn about what to do. On one hand, I don’t think I should be stuck paying for her meal when we never agreed I’d cover it, and her walking out feels unfair and irresponsible. Providing her name and phone number to the restaurant seems like a way to hold her accountable for her actions.

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On the other hand, I worry this might escalate the situation or put the restaurant in a tough spot. I’m not a confrontational person, and I’m not trying to be vindictive—I just want a fair resolution. Would I be the asshole (WIBTA) if I gave the restaurant her info to sort out her share? While I was still at the restaurant, I moved to the bar and spoke with the bartender, who revealed some surprising news.

My date had an open tab from before I arrived and had left her driver’s license at the bar! The bartender also mentioned she’s a notoriously poor tipper and was likely next door at the pool hall trying to score free drinks. Since her tab was still open and she’d likely return to close it, the bartender agreed to transfer her food items to her existing tab, saying, “F**k it, it’s not like she’s gonna tip me anyway.”

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This dine-and-dash date flips the script on a night out, leaving our guy in a pickle—abandoned with a bill and a moral maze! Considering naming his Tinder runaway to the restaurant sparks debate, but the bartender’s slick move to her open tab delivers a karmic chuckle.

Zoom out, and it’s a snapshot of dating etiquette woes. A 2023 YouGov poll found 62% of daters expect to split first-date costs, yet 28% face unclear plans (Source). No chat about “my treat” here—her exit screams assumption gone awry.

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Etiquette expert Elaine Swann says, “Clarity on costs upfront avoids drama; bolting’s bad form” (Source). Swann’s take fits—her dash left him in a lurch, but handing over info risks a mess. The bartender’s fix saved the day! Next time, confirm the split early.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit posse pounced with zest, tossing fiery takes and a splash of sass—here’s the juiciest from the crew, served with a sly grin:

Bluezephr - NTA.. That's pretty f**king b**lshit. Should be considered split.

OneTwoWee000 - That is the BEST update! That bartender rocks! I’m so glad she’ll be on the hook for what she ordered after all!

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kmcard - No way should you have to pay for her, but it's not the restaurant's fault either. You could text/call her and let her know you're planning to do that, and that the restaurant is planning to pursue the issue with her (whether or not they are) maybe then she'll come back and deal with the bill.

Talk to your waiter about it, it's unlikely that they will be able to get their money from her, but it's worth asking. If you can easily afford it I would just cover it.. NTA if you don't though.

[Reddit User] - NTA. But I doubt the restaurant would let you get away with this. It's more of a hassle and less uncertainty for them, and would likely just claim the entire amount with you. I'm guessing they legally can hold you responsible for the full amount, but would actually be interested to learn more about the legal side of this.

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oklahomajobless - The restaurant has no way, or no interest, in tracking down your date. All persons at the table, including you, are responsible for the bill. Some cities consider it a misdemeanor for an entire table to leave without paying the bill. You can't just not pay the restaurant.

TC1827 - NTA. The idea of women getting dates paid for in the modern era represents a form of female privilege that needs to go. Dates should be split by default, especially since she suggested it. Ask for sperate checks and tell the manager you were dined and dashed and give the info.

Kill_Yourself_Mods - Next time, send her to the McDonalds the next town over.

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allthedifference - NTA Everyone should assume they are paying for their own food unless otherwise decided.

Mrs_Plague - I highly doubt the restaurant would even let you do that. You can't just pay half a check, then leave. I'm fairly certain they would make you pay the whole thing since your date has ready left.

chaquedetail - As it actually played out, NTA. However, as originally written, you absolutely WHBTA if you, for instance, had them split the checks, left cash for yours and a phone number on hers, then slunk out without saying anything to anyone. It’s good that you talked to someone; that’s the critical part. If the bartender had said, “sucks man, don’t know what to tell you,” your only non-a-hole option at that point would be to suck it up and pay.

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These hot takes spice it up, but do they settle the bill? Is he clear to call her out, or stuck in a sticky spot?

From a hopeful Tinder meet to a shocking dine-and-dash, this saga sizzles with a bolted date, a savvy bartender, and a bill dodged by luck. Our guy’s left reeling—tempted to name his runaway date, saved by her forgotten tab and license. Was mulling over outing her a fair play, or too bold a move? Karma dished a twist, but the sting lingers. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Drop your wisdom, laughs, or dating tips in the comments—let’s chew on this wild night together!

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