AITA for telling my mum i’m putting her in a nursing home?

A sunny Sunday BBQ, filled with laughter and the clink of dessert plates, took a sharp turn when a teenage girl’s mother unleashed a barrage of comments about her eating habits. “More calories?” “Watch it, or we’ll roll you out!” The jabs, delivered in front of family, pushed the girl to her breaking point. Her retort—“This is why I’m putting you in a nursing home”—hushed the crowd, sparked a family feud, and sent them packing early.

This Reddit story sizzles with the raw emotion of a teen standing up to public shaming. The girl’s bold comeback, born from humiliation, left her mother reeling and the family divided. Was she wrong to lash out with such a cutting remark, or did her mother’s relentless criticism deserve a reality check? Readers are drawn into this fiery clash of hurt and defiance.

‘AITA for telling my mum i’m putting her in a nursing home?’

This happened around 3 hours ago, while me and my family were at my grandparents house for a sunday bbq. Things were going well, everyone was happy. then we moved on from the meat and onto the dessert. I asked for a slice of merangue cake, and sat down.

I realised i forgot cream, and went back. my mum then started making comments about what i was eating and my weight.. “Oh great, more calories.”. “You better calm down on that, don’t wanna ruin prom for you and everyone do you?”. “Two dessert my name, right?

Save some for everyone else.”. “Watch it, or we’ll have to roll you out of here” those were all the things she said. She said it in front of everyone, around 6 people. I got mad, like super upset. At first i tried ignoring it, saying stuff like “bit rude” or “ok calm down.” But the more she kept saying s**t, the more mad i got.

I snapped and said “you know this is why i’m going to put you in a nursing home.” everyone went silent and i got yelled at. We went home early for embarrassing my mum. I don’t feel bad for what i said, but i do feel like an a**hole. AITA?

A family gathering should be a safe space, but this mother’s public comments about her daughter’s eating turned dessert into distress. The girl’s snapping point, threatening to put her mother in a nursing home, was a cry against verbal abuse disguised as teasing. Her attempts to deflect—“bit rude”—before escalating show restraint, but the mother’s persistence in front of others crossed a line, risking deep emotional harm.

Public shaming, especially about body image, can scar. A 2023 study by the Journal of Adolescent Health found that 62% of teens exposed to parental weight criticism report lower self-esteem, with some developing disordered eating (j-adolescenthealth.org). The mother’s remarks, from “ruining prom” to “rolling out,” weaponize food, potentially fostering shame in her daughter.

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Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, an expert on teen mental health, notes, “Teens need parents to model respect, not ridicule; public criticism erodes trust” (lisadamour.com). The girl’s retort, while harsh, was a defense against humiliation, though its sting may have shut down dialogue. The family’s reaction—yelling and leaving early—suggests discomfort with addressing the mother’s behavior.

To move forward, the girl could privately tell her mother how the comments hurt, setting boundaries for future gatherings. Support from a trusted adult, like her grandparents, could reinforce her stance. The mother needs to reflect on her words’ impact and apologize.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s dishing out fiery support for this teen’s bold stand! The community slammed the mother’s bullying and cheered the girl’s savage comeback.

[Reddit User] - NTA - I'm going to bet this isn't the only toxic behavior you deal with with your mom. In a toxic family, what you see in public is often just the tip of the iceberg. I'm guessing you're still in high school by the prom comment? I'm in my thirties and no longer speak to any of my family. Toxicity has its limits. I wish you the best in dealing with a mom like that.

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Frequent_Ad4701 - You know the saying “If you can’t take the heat stay out of the kitchen”? If she doesn’t want you to make rude comments she should keep her rude comments to herself. NTA

missmyrajv - NTA She needed a reality check on potential consequences of treating you like crap.

panic_bread - NTA. Your mother is a bully. She is exactly the kind of parent who gives their kid eating disorders. I hope you can get away from her as soon as possible.

awyllt - NTA. Is your mother trying to give you an eating disorder? NTA, she is verbally abusive and yes, it's a perfectly valid reason to put her in a nursing home in the future.

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violetbaudelairegt - NTA. and now I want meringue pie!!

MontanaRogues - NTA. You are brutal in an awesome way! Your mum was being verbally abusive and degrading you intentionally. She was trying to hurt you. Your response was savage, but in a way that will get the point across.

Next time though, maybe emphasize more, and louder, about her being inappropriately rude and abusive in those comments. Tell her flat out to stop talking to you if shes going to say that crud. You got your bada$$ wings today though. Good job!

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[Reddit User] - You know what? Let's look for a nursing home for our mothers together. NTA

Impossible-Art-6443 - NTA - no one should take that sort of sh\*t from someone, even if that someone is your mom.

1955photo - NTA. Tell her to stop her verbal abuse if she doesn't want a comeback. Stand up for yourself every time she pulls this stuff and move out as soon as you can.

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These takes highlight the pain of parental criticism, but do they pave a way for healing, or just fuel the fire?

This teen’s nursing home jab was a desperate swing against her mother’s relentless shaming, turning a sweet BBQ sour. Her words, though sharp, exposed a truth: words wound, especially from parents. A heart-to-heart could mend this rift, but only if her mother owns her role. Would you clap back at family humiliation, or bite your tongue for peace? Share your stories below!

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