AITA for not wanting to apply to a Christian colleges?

Jonathan Hours
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Imagine a 16-year-old, heart racing, plotting his college future—dreams of new horizons clashing with family storms. This Reddit user, a junior at a pricey college prep school, recently came out as gay to his devout Christian parents, sparking fury. They’ve dangled his education like a carrot, threatening to pull him if he “misbehaves,” and now insist he apply to Christian colleges—despite vowing no financial help after 18. He’s done with their faith, feeling it shuns him as a gay man.

The sting cuts deep: they call him selfish, a leech, claiming school funds could go to his sisters (11 and 9). He’s footing application fees, eyeing freedom, but balks at wasting cash on places like costly Pepperdine, where he’d never go. Tension simmers—does he owe them? We’re diving in, ready to untangle this family fray with a nudge and a chuckle!

‘AITA for not wanting to apply to a Christian colleges?’

A gay teen navigates parental pressure to apply to Christian colleges amid rejection of his identity, all while funding his own applications. Here’s the original Reddit post:

Recently my parents (M43 and F42), found out I (16M) am gay. They were expectedly furious as they are devout Christians. I currently go to a college preparatory school, which is very expensive for us as we are well off but far from rich. Since they found out, they’ve held my education over my head, threatening to take me out of my current school if I ‘misbehave’.

Recently, I’ve been considering colleges, as I am a junior in high school. My parents decided that because they are paying for my current school they won’t pay for college or anything else once I turn 18. I assumed that meant I was free to choose what college I want to go to, but they’ve recently decided to require that I apply to at least two Christian colleges.

I am no longer a Christian, as I feel there isn’t a place for me being as a gay man. My parents say I’m being selfish because they pay for such an expensive private school, but I don’t think I have an obligation to them anymore given their lack of acceptance. Apparently I’m leeching off them and they say they could be using the money the put towards my school to send my sisters ( 11 and 9) to a smaller private school.

One of the schools in question is Pepperdine University, which has a gorgeous campus but is also super expensive. They’re also making me pay for my college application fees as well, so I don’t want to even waste my money in applying to a school I won’t go to. AITA?. ​

Family ties can twist when beliefs and identity collide! This 16-year-old, out as gay, faces parents wielding control—pushing Christian colleges despite cutting college funds at 18. He’s hurt, feeling faith and family exclude him, and resists spending his cash on applications to schools he’d shun. Parents guilt-trip, labeling him a burden, yet he’s carving his path.

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This echoes a broader clash. A 2023 Trevor Project survey shows 60% of LGBTQ+ youth face family rejection (Source). Dr. Caitlin Ryan, family acceptance expert, says, “Support, not control, fosters healthy bonds—rejection risks estrangement” (Source). Here, parents’ demands clash with his autonomy. You’re in the right, kid! Apply where you feel safe—seek scholarships, like from PFLAG (Source). Plan for 18: part-time work, community college.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s crew charges in with fiery, heartfelt cheers! They’ve got this teen’s back, tossing shade at control and boosting his bold stand. Here’s the roundup:

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lkvwfurry − NTA 1000%. They can't put conditions on their love. Either they accept you 'As god made you '(in their beliefs) or they don't (which means they are going against god.) Apply to whatever schools you want but prepare to have to get loans and/or scholarships. In fact there are some LGBTQ+ organizations that give scholarships to LGBTQ+ teens. start there.

MahkaraM − NTA - You're not leeching off them. You're 16.. And if they're making you pay application fees, they have no standing as to where you should/should not apply. (With that said, it would not surprise me if they refuse to pay for college. In that case, I would strongly recommend community or a state college over a pricey college like Pepperdine unless they give you a full ride. You do NOT want to have $100k in debts to pay back in 4 years.)

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abjectobsolescence − I assumed that meant I was free to choose what college I want to go to. Oh, it does. You're an adult at college. You get to decide, whether they pay or not.. NTA and I'm sorry that your parents are so myopic.

mrschester − NTA - however, if their requirement is that you APPLY, then apply with minimal effort, knowing that even if you got accepted, their terms do not state you have to go there. Then, go to the school of YOUR choice.. R/MaliciousCompliance.

CodyBellingersBong − NTA and it’s time to seriously consider what you’ll be doing after you turn 18. Hint- it may not be college (which is fine) but it almost certainly includes removing yourself from toxic family members.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Sounds like your parents are though (h**ophobic, controlling and guilting).. Definitely don't attend Christian college as a queer person. Find somewhere more accepting ( and cheaper).

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Reasonable_racoon − You don't have to go to college. Or you can look into getting college grants or scholarships. Start planning now for an independent life. Get out of there. Your parents are bigots and have nothing to offer you. NTA.

JudgeJed100 − NTA- They aren’t paying so they don’t get a say. Even if they were paying they still wouldn’t get a say. Since their “ say” is based on their h**ophobic beliefs. Your not “ leeching” your their children and they are providing for you.

And honestly, considering their opinion of you has changed because of your sexuality, I would say they owe you more. Any parents who let their child’s sexuality affect how they view and treat them aren’t fit to be parents.

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bamf1701 − NTA. If your parents aren’t going to pay for your college once you are 18, then you are completely free to go wherever you want and free to apply wherever you want. Especially since you are also paying for the application fees.. So much for unconditional love.

If I were you, I would have a contingency plan ready. Your parents sound big on control and judgement and, if they realize they have relinquished control of where you are going to college by refusing to pay for it, they may resort to threatening to kick you out of the house.

Ramguy2014 − NTA.. You’re their CHILD. It’s their job to pay for your education.. Seriously, what are they gonna do if you don’t apply to a Christian college? Not pay for it?

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These Reddit takes spark a grin: Are parents overreaching? Can he forge his path? Grab a seat and spill your thoughts—let’s rally for this journey!

This saga of a brave teen, clashing beliefs, and college dreams keeps us riveted! Our Reddit user, a gay 16-year-old, pushes back against parents’ Christian college mandate, craving a space to be himself. They’ve withdrawn support, yet demand control— he’s ready to fly solo, guarding his heart and wallet. It’s a tightrope of love, limits, and liberty! What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Toss your wisdom, stories, or cheeky nudges below—let’s navigate this bold leap together!

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