AITA for refusing to move out of the master bedroom so my roommates SO can move in?

Imagine a cozy apartment turned chaos zone: a 25-year-old woman, juggling two jobs, guards her master bedroom sanctuary, where dual desks and a $2,000 PC hum safely behind a closed door. Enter Alice, her roommate, a whirlwind of mess and three unruly cats that scratch, break, and pee on anything in sight, leaving our hero to scoop litter and fend off destruction. They’d agreed she’d take the master—paying extra for it—yet now Alice demands it for her new boyfriend of three months to move in!

Tensions bubble as Alice pitches a flimsy fix: work in the open, risk the cats. Our woman stands firm, sparking a showdown. Can you feel the frustration of broken boundaries and feline-fueled mayhem? Was she wrong to dig in her heels? Readers, let’s wade into this roommate ruckus and sort it out!

‘AITA for refusing to move out of the master bedroom so my roommates SO can move in?’

I’m (25f) living with two roommates who are friends, one of which I will call Alice (25f). When we all three moved out we agreed that I would have the master because I requested it. I work two jobs at two separate desks and wanted to be able to keep my computers in my room. Alice moved in with 3 cats who are all destructive and poorly behaved, and the other roommate has 2 cats.

Alice started dating her SO about 3 months ago and wants me to leave the master so her SO can move in. My problem is that Alice has been a horrible roommate, she’s never home, incredibly messy, and always makes me feed her cats or is just never home and leaves me no choice but to feed her cats.

I keep my door closed so that my stuff doesn’t get ruined because her cats have already broken things of mine or pee on things. Her argument is that I can move my stuff into the public areas and work out there. The only problem is I have a work computer and my $2000 PC that I don’t trust near her cats.

The other caveat is that I am in my room 24/7 and everything I own is in here. She has a desk (that she never uses) and all her music/guitar stuff in the loft so she only needs the bed in her room.. Am I the a**hole for standing my ground in keeping this room? Or should I switch rooms with her?

Roommate life can feel like a tightrope walk, and this clash over the master bedroom is a doozy. Our Reddit user, paying more for the space, shields her work setup from Alice’s chaotic cats, only to face a push to swap rooms for a boyfriend of three months. Alice’s neglect—messy habits, absent pet care—clashes with the woman’s need for a secure, functional haven, a deal set at move-in.

Shared living hiccups aren’t rare: 48% of renters report roommate tension, per a 2024 Rent.com survey (source: rent.com). Dr. Irene S. Levine, a psychologist and friendship expert, notes in a 2023 article, “Clear agreements and boundaries are vital in shared spaces; reneging for personal gain breeds conflict” (source: psychologytoday.com). Here, Alice’s entitlement ignores the pact, and her SO’s move-in ups the stakes—lease terms may not even allow it!

The fix? Stick to the deal, says Dr. Levine—politely say, “We agreed I’d keep the master; let’s honor that.” If Alice pushes, check the lease and suggest she and her SO find their own nest. Resources like Roommate Survival Guide (roommatesurvivalguide.com) can help.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit crew—candid, feisty, and ready to pounce! The community rallied, claws out, to weigh in on this roommate rumble:

[Reddit User] - NTA You all made an agreement prior to moving in. Having your computers in the room makes your work life easier. I don’t see why Alice and her SO *need* to have the master bedroom. Does the SO need to move in with the 3 of you? What’s wrong with Alice’s room? Why can’t Alive move into her SO’s place? Stand your ground! I would potentially look for another place to live if this doesn’t blow over (living with 4 people sounds crazy).

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ColdstreamCapple - NTA Just because she gained a boyfriend doesn’t mean she has a right to your room….So what if they break up? Does that mean you can just move back in? She’s being unreasonable but if she’s often selfish and only thinking of herself maybe you need to look for another place to live? Also it is NOT your responsibility to feed her cats, If she can’t organise feeding them then she needs to admit she shouldn’t be a pet owner

StonewallBrigade21 - NTA - Is her SO even allowed to move in per your lease agreement? The SO moving in is a bad idea and something you nor the other roommate agreed upon when you first moved in. As bad of a roommate as Alice is now, she will only get worse once her SO moves in. No way that turns out well for you.

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walnutwithteeth - NTA. You had an agreement when you moved in and you're not in the wrong for sticking to it. If she is moving a third party in then she gets to make the sacrifice. Alternatively she can move out with her SO and her cats.

SDstartingOut - NTA. You all had an agreement - you would get the room. She can't just up and change the agreement because she changed her mind.. Addon the fact she's a bad roommate? Hell no. I hope you have a lock on your door (that only you have a key for). And if you don't - I'd look at getting one.

dwells2301 - NTA. Keep the room. If Alice is unhappy, she can move elsewhere with her cats and SO. Also discuss the new rent split since another person is a game changer.

bidens_left_ear - NTA. I'd find a new apartment with better roommates because if you stay with these idiots you will be the TA to yourself. Because they only care about themselves, you just pay the bill. They don't care if you sleep on the floor in the closet.

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associaterogue - NTA You all made an agreement, I don't see how Alice getting a SO causes any reason for that agreement to change.. I think your arguments for keeping the master are perfectly valid, but really shouldn't be necessary.

Expensive-Team-338 - Absolutely NTA - She wants you to move out of the master's room for her SO OF 3 MONTHS? Not to mention, she doesn't just have one cat she neglects BUT 3??? Set some boundaries with her and stand your ground. She sounds awful.

Sad_Bicycle9848 - NTA it’s not just her house she asked you said no she needs to accept that, actually she didn’t even ask it’s sounds like it. What an entitled person

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These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they scratch the surface? Is Alice’s ask a cat-astrophe, or should compromise purr-vail?

And there’s the messy litter of it all—a master bedroom battle, a roommate’s bold bid for her SO, and a trio of pesky cats stirring the pot! Our Reddit user holds her ground, backed by an original deal and Reddit’s roar, while experts urge sticking to boundaries. Alice’s push feels like a scratch at fairness, leaving tension thicker than cat fur on a couch. Roommate life’s a wild ride—agreements bend, and claws come out. What would you do if a roommate’s new love eyed your space? Drop your takes, tales, or tips below—let’s clean up this drama!

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