AITA for avoiding my parents after discovering they were spreading SUPER inappropriate lies about my husband and I?

Imagine a warm Thanksgiving gathering, the clink of wine glasses and laughter filling the air, until a whispered aside casts a shadow. As the guests depart, an aunt’s troubled expression hints at a secret too heavy to share in the moment. Days later, a phone call unveils a jaw-dropping revelation: a couple’s parents have spun a salacious, entirely fabricated tale about their daughter’s marriage, spreading it for nearly a decade. The betrayal stings like a slap, leaving trust in tatters.

This Reddit saga is a rollercoaster of shock and gaslighting, as the OP grapples with her parents’ bizarre lies about her and her husband’s relationship. Their refusal to own up only deepens the wound, while the Reddit community rallies with outrage and advice. Was the OP wrong to distance herself, or is cutting contact the only way to heal? Let’s dive into this wild tale.

‘AITA for avoiding my parents after discovering they were spreading SUPER inappropriate lies about my husband and I?’

Last year, my husband (H) and I met my parents, aunt & uncle for Thanksgiving (they had been vacationing together a few days prior). As we were leaving, my aunt (who was visibly upset) pulled me aside, “I need to talk to you, can you call me in a few days? ”I asked if she was ok, she said “yes, I just need to ask you something, but not now.”

When I called to ask what was going on. My aunt said “I heard something that seems very out of character for you and I want to see if it’s true. Evidently, a few days before thanksgiving, my parents told her an untrue story about how my current husband and I met. To note, I was separated at the time from my now ex-husband when we met.

She explained, according to my parents: I met (H) while online soliciting for a proposed threesome with my ex-husband as a last-ditch effort to salvage my then failing marriage. However during this tryst, (H) and I supposedly realize we had a connection which lead us to be together while choosing to dissolve my previous marriage.

(My parents shared more gross details, but I’ll spare you). I was shocked as NONE of this was true. We met at work through mutual friends and our romantic relationship developed slowly over a period of time. I had repeatedly told my parents how we met, and even introuduced our mutual friends to my parents at our wedding as “the ones who got us together”.

So, I FaceTime my parents and ask them why they’re lying about us behind our backs? They look me dead in the eyes and say “because that’s what you told us.” EXCUSE ME?! When I refuted this, my dad proceeds to get angry at ME saying that I must have amnesia as my mom stormed off refusing to discuss the issue.

The rest of the call is me sitting in silence, while he attempted to gaslight me. I’m dumbfounded. A few days later, I get a call from my cousin. She explains that my dad had told her husband the same story almost 8 YEARS AGO! Which they had believed until now.

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My cousin apologized for not saying anything sooner but the story made them so uncomfortable they didn’t know what to do. H and I wrote my parents an email explaining what we had discovered and asked them some simple questions like: Why did you make this up? Who else have you told? etc.

We’ve been emailing back and forth for almost year and gotten nowhere. Their story keeps changing, the blame keeps shifting, and they have continuously tried to diminish the seriousness of this issue even saying “no one thinks any less of you because of it”.

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WHAT? It never happened. Period. The only apology we’ve gotten is “we’re sorry for upsetting you”. You mean you’re not sorry for lying about your daughter for 10 years? Most recently, they have almost demanded that we forgive them and “move on”.

Since we haven’t forgiven them yet, we’re “responsible” for my mother crying all the time, and essentially breaking the family apart.. So, AITA for wanting to continue to avoid my parents even though I'm tearing the family apart?

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Holy plot twist—what a way to unravel family ties! The OP’s parents concocted a bizarre, inappropriate lie about her marriage, then deflected blame with Olympic-level gaslighting. The OP’s decision to avoid them feels like a natural shield against toxicity, especially since their half-hearted “sorry for upsetting you” misses the mark. The lie’s longevity—nearly a decade—suggests a deeper issue, possibly rooted in control or dysfunction.

This scenario highlights a broader problem: family gossip can erode relationships. A 2022 study in Personal Relationships found that 40% of family conflicts stem from miscommunication or misinformation, often escalating when accountability is dodged. The parents’ refusal to clarify who else heard the lie only fuels the OP’s distrust.

Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, notes, “When family members lie or withhold truth, it’s a betrayal that requires clear boundaries to heal”. Here, the parents’ shifting stories and demands for forgiveness without remorse signal a need for distance. Their lie wasn’t just a fib—it was a character assassination.

The OP could maintain no contact until her parents offer a genuine apology, including outreach to those misled. Therapy might help her process the betrayal and decide future steps.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of shock, humor, and tough love. Here’s what they had to say:

OverRice2524 − NTA. I think they've earned a nice long time out. Ten years seems about right - doesn't it?

Impossible_Disk_43 − What the...I want so badly to believe this is fake but unfortunately I do know people who would absolutely do this. Um... Well, firstly they made up the story and got themselves in this wackass dilemma so the responsibility is on them *FOR* *A* *START* and who in their right mind makes up stories about their kid soliciting threeways?! Even a grown-up kid!

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What does H think of all this? Is this on par with your parents' personalities? Can I ask what the hell again? Biggest mystery of all is HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE THE A**HOLE HERE?!. NTA OP!. I apologise for all the keyboard screaming, but this is just beyond weird or crazy.

Long-Leading − Is it something your Ex could have invented to ruin your reputation? Very disturbing!

[Reddit User] − NTA holy crap…are they okay mentally?

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Chocolatecandybar_ − NTA, they never explained nor gave you an appropriate apology. But also: is it their first time? Did you notice something else that feels off? Because this lie seems to be a little too big and weird to be just a lie

Ok-Context1168 − NTA. I literally laughed out loud at “no one thinks any less of you because of it”. About something that is made up, lol!! It's so ridiculous that it's funny.. Have they always been this way? I mean, making up stories for no reason, no accountability?

BigAd8400 − NTA. And it's time for no contact. Because holy f.... Even by some weird chance that crazy story would be remotely true... WHY WOULD YOU SHARE THIS WITH FAMILY ABOUT YOUR OWN CHILD!??. I mean.... what?

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Astreja − NTA. 'Don't contact us again until you've emailed *everyone* you told your lies to and confessed in writing. As for forgiveness, we'll revisit that after your confessions and not an instant before.'

Rosie3435 − NTA. What is your parents' motivation for spreading those stories? Avoid them, they are toxic and would not help your marriage.

Sea_Firefighter_4598 − NTA. Just stay completely away from them. Do not talk to other family members about them. They are dead (DEAD) to you. This is sick, deranged, I don't know what.

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Talk about a comment section on fire! Redditors are floored by the parents’ audacity, urging no contact and demanding accountability. Some wonder if the lie stems from deeper issues, while others just scream, “What the heck?” Are they onto something, or is this too wild to fathom?

This Thanksgiving tale turned into a decade-long betrayal, showing how lies can fracture even the closest families. The OP’s choice to step back feels like self-preservation, not destruction, as her parents’ refusal to own their actions keeps the wound fresh. It’s a reminder that trust is fragile, and rebuilding it takes more than a flimsy apology. Have you ever cut ties over family betrayal? What would you do in the OP’s shoes—forgive, confront, or walk away? Drop your thoughts below!

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