AITA for inviting me ex-wife on a family vacation?

A dream trip to the Greek islands, planned since their first date, had a woman and her wife buzzing with her stepson, in-laws, parents, and siblings set to join, all expenses covered by the couple’s hard-earned savings. The woman’s ex-wife, a lifelong friend and aunt like figure to her stepson, despite their divorce marked by the tragic loss of their three kids, stayed close bonded by shared history and warmth with the current family.

When her stepson suggested inviting the ex-wife, recently single and downhearted, the woman checked with her wife, who gave a warm thumbs-up. The ex-wife, touched but hesitant, joined, with the couple insisting on covering costs. A kind gesture turned sour when her mother-in-law spotted an extra ticket, unleashing a fiery tirade, and now the trip teeters as family backs out. This Reddit tale hums with heart and heat let’s dive in.

‘AITA for inviting me ex-wife on a family vacation?’

My wife and I are going on a family vacation with her son, her parents, and her siblings to the Greek islands. It’s a place my wife and I talked about visiting on our very first date and have saved up lots of money to go. My ex-wife and I are still very close, we had 3 kids together but sadly all 3 passed away.

I still consider her my family and I’ve known her almost my whole life so after our divorce, there were no hard feelings. She is also like an aunt to my step-son and is also very good friends with my current wife and I. My step-son asked me if we could bring my ex-wife on our family vacation with us since she’s family.

I thought about it for a while and I decided why not ask her. Her and her boyfriend had recently broken up and she’s been pretty beaten down the last few weeks so I thought a little vacation for her would help her out a lot and get somethings off her mind and relax for a bit.

I asked my wife and she said happy to have her come along. I asked my ex-wife if she would like to join us and she was hesitant at first because she didn’t want to intrude but she eventually agreed a was more than excited to come along.

She offered to buy her own plane ticket and hotel room but my wife and I insisted that we would take care of it for her, she was incredibly great full and she’s started packing. My wife’s mother had come over to our house and saw I had one extra plane ticket on the counter than what we were supposed to have and I told her that my ex-wife was coming.

She blew up in my face and told me I’m making everyone very uncomfortable by inviting her and that nobody even knows her. Also accused me of planning to cheat on my wife by the inviting her on this trip. She called me an a**hole for being my ex-wife on a family trip.

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She also said that she’s no longer my family since were divorced and have no kids together, I yelled a whole bunch of s**t in her face that I don’t even remember. She stormed out of my house and now everyone is calling to say they don’t want to go on the trip anymore and now my wife is very upset.

I was just trying to do something nice for someone who was struggling at the moment, I didn’t think inviting one person would cause everyone to pull out. They are literally going on a free vacation and the plane refundable.

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I’m starting to feel like an a**hole because now my wife is very upset that her family isn’t going and we’ve spend all this money on this trip. And to make things worse my ex-wife texts me saying she’s all packed for tomorrow and how excited and great full she is that we invited her.. So AITA? 

This vacation snafu stirs a pot of goodwill and family friction. The woman, aiming to cheer her ex-wife—a cherished figure despite their past—cleared the invite with her wife and stepson, the core crew. Her mother-in-law’s outburst, accusing betrayal and dismissing the ex-wife’s family status, flipped a kind deed into chaos, tanking the trip and upsetting her wife.

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Blended families navigate tricky terrain. A 2023 Pew Research study shows 52% of remarried adults face in-law tensions over boundaries. The ex-wife’s role—friend, aunt, family by heart—was valid to the couple, but the in-laws’ unease, ignored pre-invite, sparked a fuse. The mother-in-law’s harsh words, especially on shared loss, cut deep.

Dr. Patricia Papernow, a blended family expert, says, “Inviting extended kin needs group buy-in, or resentment festers open talk prevents blowups”. The woman’s intent was pure, but skipping wider family input left room for shock. Her heated retort matched the mother-in-law’s fire both lost cool. Guilt over the fallout’s fair; the fix lies ahead.

Mend this with care. Apologize to the wife for the strain, not the invite reaffirm her comfort was key. Reach out to in-laws, own the oversight, and hear their gripes calmly. If they skip the trip, go with ex-wife and stepson, or pivot to a smaller plan. Ex-wife’s joy shows the heart was right tweak the approach to knit this clan tighter.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit leaned hard into the woman’s corner, cheering her kind heart. The crowd sees her wife’s approval and stepson’s nudge as the green light that counts, with the mother-in-law’s meltdown cheating jabs, kid-loss digs way out of line. A free trip makes their bailout bold, and most nod to keep the ex-wife on board.

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Some flag a misstep not looping in the wider crew but her intent and wife’s okay outweigh it. The vibe urges a firm line with the mother-in-law, maybe a smaller trip, and no apology for the invite itself. Her found family’s real, they say let it shine.

thekuccimane − NTA. You ran it by your current wife who was happy to have her come along.. ​. Your wife's mother on the other hand, she turned a molehill into a mountain for no reason.

sagehoe − NTA,. if the wife had no issue, the stepson didnt, why tf MIL so pissed? Honestly, if I were you I'd be very cautious of her in the future, because I've seen mothers ruin their children's marriages due to their own paranoid thoughts.

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Ducky818 − NTA. Your stepson asked if ex could come. You checked with your wife who was good with it. MIL was out of line to throw a hissy fit but your response was too extreme. You should have let MIL have her child-like temper tantrum and let your wife handle her.

[Reddit User] − So to be clear, you were paying for the vacation for everyone? If that's the case, then NTA, your wife didn't mind and her family is complaining over a free international trip. That's pretty ballsy of them.

RTFanIguess − NTA. Her you have no children with her comment is grounds to go absolute nuclear on her in my book.

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SaikaTheCasual − NTA you had good intentions BUT… if you’re going to invite someone on a vacation you planned with a bunch of people - it’s probably best to check with everyone beforehand. That includes your in laws. MIL is being unreasonable and insulting af, still she should have been consulted beforehand, maybe the whole thing wouldn’t have blown up like that then.

_higglety − So let me get this straight: the idea to invite her came from your stepson in the first place, and (having checked with her before extending the invitation) your wife was totally fine with it, and in fact insisted on you two paying her way? Then yeah, NTA. Assuming everything is as you’ve described, she’s part of your extended family unit.

It’s not unreasonable for your wife’s family to perhaps feel a little awkward, but if your wife told them she’s comfortable with it, that should be the end of it. Your MIL was certainly way out of line with her intense overreaction.

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(Also as a queer person myself can I just say with the utmost affection and respect that your whole family situation is possibly the most lesbian thing I’ve ever heard of [complimentary].

I’m glad you and your ex are still friendly, I’m glad your ex and your wife are friends, and I’m glad your son has an aunt in her. Found family is extremely good and real, and it sounds from this little snippet that you’ve assembled a good one)

protogenic_ − The only people that should be concerned about this is your immediate family, and if the person that would *probably* be the most uncomfortable with it (i.e. your wife) is fine with your ex coming, that is all that matters. Your children are also fine with this too.

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Your wife's mother has absolutely no say regarding who you can invite and not invite. Your immediate family is okay with this and she is completely out of line for acting the way she did.. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA your wife is the only one who stands to be hurt by you inviting your ex, and she’s cool with it, your MIL has serious issues

Common_Loquat3382 − NTA but those tickets were expensive so don't waste them. I will be happy to go with y'all!

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This Greek island drama spins a tale of heart and havoc—a woman’s bid to lift her ex-wife, family by bond, hit a wall when her mother-in-law’s rage derailed a dream trip. Good intentions met bad reactions, but wife and stepson’s backing hold firm. A reset talks, tweaks might save the vibe. Share your thoughts, feelings, and fixes below—let’s sail through this family squall!

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