AITA for calling my brother a “fragile, chauvinist and insecure”?

Two years ago, a man welcomed his brother Thomas and his then-girlfriend to the neighborhood, a cozy setup where Thomas joined the same gym as the man’s fit wife, Lia. She trained him three times a week, sculpting his frame muscle up, weight down, confidence soaring until a cocky edge emerged, souring his tune with breakup boasts and shallow jabs about women, unsettling everyone, especially Lia.

Fast forward, Lia’s six months pregnant, still lifting lighter weights and rocking the gym five days a week, a picture of strength. Thomas, though, sneers at her “laziness” and weight, even as she outpaces him some days. Tensions boil when he storms their home unannounced, ranting at Lia’s carbonara feast, and a fed-up husband unloads a fiery label fragile, chauvinist, insecure tossing him out. This Reddit clash pulses with grit let’s dig in.

‘AITA for calling my brother a “fragile, chauvinist and insecure”?’

About 2 years ago, my brother, Thomas,' and his (then) girlfriend moved into our neighbourhood. Thomas started attending the same gym my wife, 'Lia,' goes to. Lia is incredibly fit, and Thomas asked her if she could train him. She agreed. Thomas trains with Lia 3 times a week.

Over the 2 years, you can definitely tell that he's added a lot of muscle and lost a lot of weight. He looks great and I can tell that he's happy. As Thomas has improved his fitness, he's gotten a lot cockier. I mean, a lot cockier. He broke up with his girlfriend because he claimed that he was 'too good for her now.'

Every time I see him, he's talking about how women are throwing themselves at him, or how his ideal woman can't weigh over 60kgs (about 130 lbs). It's annoying and it makes everyone, especially Lia, uncomfortable.. Lia doesn't train him anymore, but they still attend the same gym at usually the same time.

Lia is 6 months pregnant. She still works out 5 days a week, lifts weights (though much lighter), and keeps to her normal regime as much as possible. Because she's pregnant, she can't complete all the exercises, but she is still incredibly fit. Thomas thinks that she's getting lazy.

Every time I see him, he makes a snide comment about Lia 'putting on weight,' or how she's 'acting like a b**.' To me, these comments don't make much sense. Lia is still incredibly fit and active, even pregnant. On some days, he can barely keep up with her.

Nevertheless, his comments are disgusting. Lia calls him out, and I call him out, but he rarely listens.. I don't speak to him much, but Lia does have to see him in the gym. Thomas and my mum came over to our house, completely unannounced.

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When they came over, Lia was eating a big bowl of carbonara that I had made, and when she offered them some, Thomas immediately started ranting. Rather than just saying 'no,' or 'I'm okay, thank you,' he started yelling about how Lia is getting fat, and how she was losing all her 'appeal,' and if she (Lia) was his wife he'd 'never let her act like this.'

It was shocking and Lia speechless.. I told him to get his 'fragile, chauvinist, insecure' ass out of my house and never to return.. He left with my mum. My mum is telling me to apologise. Lia thinks I shouldn't have called him names and should have handled it with a lot more tact.

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This family flare-up sizzles with crossed lines and raw nerve. Thomas rode a fitness high, mentored by Lia, only to flip into a cocky critic, slamming her pregnant frame—weight, “appeal,” the lot—despite her grit. The husband, protective and fed up, fired back with sharp words, booting him from their home. Lia’s strength shines; Thomas’s barbs reek of overreach.

Toxic attitudes can shadow growth. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association shows 43% of men tie self-worth to physique, some veering into harsh judgment of others. Thomas’s glow-up fueled swagger, but his jabs at a pregnant woman—after her coaching—cross into disrespect. His rant at their table tipped the pot.

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Dr. John Moore, a psychologist on male behavior, says, “Insecurity can mask as bravado, lashing out at others—especially women—to prop up a shaky ego”. Thomas’s fixation on Lia’s form, pregnant or not, hints at deeper flaws, and the husband’s blunt callout, while heated, guards his family. Tact might soften blows, but the line held firm.

Set a boundary: skip gym overlap if it stings Lia—report harassment if it persists. A calm sit-down with Thomas, sans Mom’s nudge, could unpack his shift—call out the hurt, demand respect. Mom means well, but Thomas owns this fix. Stand by Lia, keep him at bay, and lean on love to steady the storm.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit roared in sync, cheering the husband’s stand. The crowd brands Thomas’s rants—dissing Lia’s pregnant body, her “appeal”—as gross and out-of-bounds, unfit for a guest or kin. His cocky turn and gym jabs signal trouble, and most salute the boot, seeing prior callouts ignored and tact spent.

Some spy deeper vibes—Thomas’s fixation reeks of envy or worse, unfit for family. Mom’s apology plea gets a side-eye; the vibe urges a firm line—bar him from home, maybe the gym too. Support for Lia rules, with a nod to shield the growing kid from his mess.

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[Reddit User] − NTA he needed to hear it. In case you weren’t aware tho, your brother wants to f**k your wife.

thievingwillow − NTA Also, the only times I’ve seen dudes get THAT mad at a woman who they aren’t even in a relationship with for “letting herself go” (or getting pregnant at all), it’s been because they were powerfully attracted and fantasizing about her and are mad that she now makes their boner sad. So… there’s that too.

Legitimate-Tower-523 − NTA If he is saying these things to her at the gym, she should get his membership revoked. I would imagine gyms have a fairly low tolerance for that type of behavior.

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KronkLaSworda − 'My mum is telling me to apologise' Well, now you know who the Golden Child is, at least. So there's that silver lining (it ain't you, btw).. Moving on, you were 100% spot on with your actions. This was a long time coming.. ' Lia calls him out, and I call him out, but he rarely listens.'

You already tried tact. Now, your brother came into your home, insulted your wife to her face, and YELLED at her. No. That person has no more invites to my home. He deserved what he got. You really need to keep this boundary. There's something not right in his head here. This is not acceptable behavior. It's obsessive and potentially dangerous. NTA

Purple_Bowling_Shoes − NTA. Thomas clearly has issues, and your wife putting on weight while pregnant (!) isn't his business. Good on you for standing up for your wife and setting much-needed boundaries with Thomas.

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risen87 − NTA. - He was being completely out of line. More importantly - he has an unhealthy fixation on Lia and awful attitudes towards women. Your mother is telling him that this behaviour is acceptable. Perhaps consider moving to another town AND another gym.

Effective-Being-849 − Wow. Absolutely NTA. He's a sad, pathetic, insecure guy. His body sounds like it's the only thing he's got going for him and he'd probably lose his mind if he wasn't able to work out. He's definitely shallow and not worth having around your family.

[Reddit User] − NTA - there is no reason for your brother to be making *any* comments about your wife’s appearance or “appeal.” Good for you for standing with your wife and not tolerating his behavior.. No matter how fit he gets, he’s just gross.

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[Reddit User] − Nta That did not require any more tact, his comments are disgusting and no one should be defending him. Probably time to go NC, he’s not someone you want around your growing and impressionable child.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Don’t let him into your house again.

This gym-fueled feud dishes a bold tale—Thomas’s swagger morphed to slurs, targeting a pregnant Lia, till her husband’s fiery words drew a line. His barbs stung, but a home ban and blunt truth reset the board. A boundary holds, love for Lia shines, and a fix might lurk in frank talk. Share your thoughts, feelings, and takes below—let’s flex some family wisdom!

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