AITA for going to my friends house when my wife told me to FO?

Imagine a cozy Christmas with family, a new mom cradling her daughter, Indie, when her sister-in-law corners her. The SIL unloads: Indie’s name is “made up,” “juvenile,” unfit for an adult. Polite requests to drop it are ignored, so the mom snaps, “Mind your own business.” A shouting match erupts, the family intervenes, but SIL’s bitter texts later claim everyone hates the name.

This Reddit tale is a sharp jab at family meddling and personal choice. Was the mom’s retort a fair boundary, or a holiday overreach? It’s a story that simmers with the sting of unsolicited opinions and the fight to protect a child’s identity.

‘AITA for going to my friends house when my wife told me to fO?’

This Reddit post lays bare a mother’s stand against a nosy SIL’s name-shaming. Here’s her story, raw and unfiltered:

My(28m) wife (27f) is 7 months pregnant. Since she’s been pregnant she has been having a go at me for small things like if I don’t make dinner for her or when I cook her the wrong thing. Before she was pregnant she was never like this she was always very sweet. Yesterday my wife came back from her parents house and I made homemade pizza for us.

She told me she doesn’t want pizza and to cook her something else. I told her if it’s quick and easy I’ll make it, she asked for homemade chicken dumplings. I told her I’m not making that because that will take ages. She told me she’s pregnant and is craving dumplings. I told her “I know your pregnant but I’m not making dumplings for you”.

She started having a rage that I wouldn’t cook her something. It was 6pm at night I’m not whipping out all this ingredients. I told her to make it herself or to not have anything. When I had my pizza she was sitting on the couch sobbing saying that I don’t love her or the baby.

I told her I’ll make dumplings tomorrow night for her but not tonight. She told me to FO somewhere else. I asked my friend if I could stay the night with him and he said yes. Packed clothes and slammed the door behind me. When I was half way to my friends my wife texted me begging for me to come back so I told her to f**k off like she did with me.. So AITA?
This family flare-up is a classic case of overstepping boundaries. The SIL’s fixation on Indie’s name—a perfectly valid, if uncommon, choice—crosses into intrusive judgment, ignoring the parents’ right to name their child. Her persistence, even after being asked to stop, and her claim that “everyone” agrees, smacks of control, not concern.

Psychologist Dr. Susan Newman notes, “Unsolicited advice about parenting choices, like names, often reflects the giver’s need to assert dominance” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Family Issues found that 55% of new parents face intrusive family opinions, straining relationships (Source). The SIL’s escalation to yelling and texting suggests a personal agenda, perhaps envy or a need to critique.

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The mom’s response, while sharp, was a justified defense after polite attempts failed. “Set firm limits with meddlers,” Newman advises. She and her husband, united, should block further texts and clarify boundaries with family. The SIL needs to reflect on why a child’s name consumes her.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit served up takes as bold as a holiday roast. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

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Nihlys − NTA. It's ridiculous to me how many people are saying ESH just because you told her to fk off after she'd told you the same.~~ EDIT: to update this part, as it's no longer relevant compared to when I first made my comment.

I've had 3 kids of my own. I've been around significant portions of the MANY pregnancies of my siblings and yes, hormones are awful, but they DO NOT give a woman a free pass to be abusive and then absolute immunity to repercussions.

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Maybe you could have worded your response better and told her that, no, you weren't coming home because you needed time to cool off but just because she's pregnant doesn't mean that you don't get to feel upset or hurt by her actions.

jcola29 − NTA. Just because she’s pregnant that doesn’t give her the right to boss you around or emotionally manipulate you or be verbally abusive. You fixed dinner. She didn’t like it. Oh well! She could have ordered it or fixed it herself. She’s not handicapped or on bed rest so why people are on here saying YTA or EHS is ridiculous.

_sobertaco_ − NTA. Pregnancy isn’t an excuse to treat someone like crap.

_Birbie_ − NTA - seriously pregnant women need to have some self control. I’ve been pregnant and aware of myself, it’s not that hard. Why not just order some dumplings online? Edit: I mean aware of themselves on how they treat others. It’s ok to cry and be sad, not ok to treat the ones you love like poo because they won’t be your slave.

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BackgroundPoem3735 − NTA. Pregnancy hormones can be a overwhelming to experience, but is no excuse for continued bad behavior. She’s the AH for acting like a spoiled child & asking you to F off, but it isn’t great that you chose to respond in kind.

Was this normal behavior from her pre-pregnancy? If not, why don’t you try to have a conversation with her when you’re both calm about her mood swings and how it’s impacting you. Maybe she needs to speak to a professional if she’s having a hard time managing her emotions and it’s impacting her relationships.

yoga_sloth42 − I actually think this isn't really about who is and isn't the a**hole. Honestly, if your wife has undergone a huge personality change I would wonder if she may struggling with prenatal depression/anxiety? The way you describe her behaviour certainly sounds like she is struggling, she is jumping to wild conclusions that you don't care about her, or the baby...I think you two need to talk. And then maybe seek some support.

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girlbrains22 − NTA, I’m currently 6 months pregnant and that’s f**king crazy haha I get mood swings and cravings, but my demands don’t become absolute unreasonable. I would fully expect my husband (who is wonderful) to tell me to f**k off in this situation.

journeyintopressure − NTA. While I do agree telling her to f**k off is not the most adult thing to do, everything else shows she is being too entitled and being manipulative. Good for you for leaving but you could have started a conversation about her bevahior instead of telling her to f*** o**.

knitti − NTA. It's actually very refreshing to be on a feed where not everyone is immediately acting like pregnant women are saints who gave no control. There's this weird phenomenon on the internet at the moment at as soon as someone is pregnant they are no longer responsible for their actions and must be treated like finest porcelain lest they weep a single tear.

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Having been there and done that, yes it's horrid and hard at points but you don't get to have temper tantrums and sob that your partner doesn't love you or the baby just because you aren't immediately getting your way. Sounds like this was the straw that broke the camels back for OP.

Shanks82 − Check for prenatal depression and find a therapist. She’s probably not aware of what she’s doing and is having terrible mood swings she can’t control. It really doesn’t matter who is the AH in this case because she may need help and going to a qualified therapist will help find the problem.

These Reddit opinions are as spicy as mulled wine, but do they miss the SIL’s possible deeper motives?

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This story is a vibrant mix of love, pride, and pushback. The mom’s stand protected her daughter’s name, but the SIL’s lingering jab left a chill. Could a calmer deflection or family mediator have cooled the feud? What would you do if kin attacked your child’s name? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced family meddling that hit too close?

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