AITA for telling my sister she could’ve dated the guy she liked had she not been such a misogynistic pick me?

In a bustling college town, a coffee shop became the unlikely stage for a twin-sister showdown. One twin, juggling shifts and school, kindly set up her sister with a charming frat boy, only for the date to implode spectacularly. The sister’s harsh words and outdated views sent the guy running, leaving behind a pricey lipgloss and a family feud. When confronted, she demanded an apology, but her twin stood firm, calling out her toxic “pick me” attitude.

This Reddit saga brews a potent mix of sisterly bonds, clashing values, and the fallout of a failed date. It’s a tale that resonates with anyone who’s faced the sting of differing beliefs within family. As Reddit pours in with opinions, readers are drawn into a debate about honesty, accountability, and whether tough love can mend a bruised ego.

‘AITA for telling my sister she could’ve dated the guy she liked had she not been such a misogynistic pick me?’

My (20F) sister Kim and I are identical twins. We were very different growing up and still are. I hate to say this but Kim is the definition of a pick me girl, always spewing misogynistic nonsense on how women are weak and should abide to men.

How she’s so short and petite so she can’t do anything on her own without a big strong man around. How all the girls are trying too hard by wearing makeup while she is pretty naturally so they all hate her for it. You get the gist.

Kim and I attend the same college but study there in different departments. In one of my classes there is this guy named Dave, Dave is your typical handsome frat boy that most girls in our college have a crush on including Kim.

Over the summer I’ve started working in a small coffee shop near campus to earn some extra cash. During that time Dave became a frequent customer there and was pretty friendly toward me since he recognized me from class. After a while he admitted that he’s attracted to me and asked me out so we can get to know each other.

Knowing that Kim liked him I decided to reject Dave and instead offered to set him up with her, we are identical so if he asked me out based on attraction it really shouldn’t matter. Dave agreed and I gave him my sisters number.

I knew they met up for a date during the weekend but didn’t have the time to ask Kim how it went since I was sick. Today during my shift Dave approached me and asked if I could return to Kim the lipgloss she left in his car since he knew the brand was expensive.

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I asked him why he didn’t return it to her himself and he said that he didn’t want to see her after how the date went. I was confused and so I asked him if the date was really that bad. He explained that they went to a nice restaurant where my sister didn’t stop harassing and criticizing the waitress for wearing too much make up and looking “easy”.

After that fiasco was over she proceeded to say some stuff that I can only imagine are usually said in an Andrew Tate podcast. Dave who was apparently raised by a single mother and has 5 sisters was horrified so he excused himself to the bathroom, paid for their meal, venmod Kim some cash for an Uber and left her at the restaurant alone.

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I was embarrassed for Kim but totally understood why Dave walked out on her so I apologized on her behalf and took the lipgloss with me. I returned it to her 2 hours ago and she didn’t stop complaining on how awful Dave was, how he wasn’t a real man since real man usually like when she brings up how women are inferior to them.

At some point I just cut her off and told her that she had a chance of a nice date with a guy she liked but ruined it all because she couldn’t stop being a misogynistic pick me even for one second. I’m now back at my apartment and Kim hasn’t stopped texting me demanding I apologize but I don’t feel like it. AITA?.

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Update: I would like to start this off by saying that although I don’t agree or excuse Kim’s actions I do understand that they come from a place of insecurity. And although I knew her obsession over male validation was not normal I didn’t understand the severity of it until now.

I’ve talked with our parents and they both agreed based on what I told them that we’ll try to convince Kim to attend therapy after the holidays. I’m not she’ll agree but it’s worth a shot. I ended up getting Dave’s phone number from a classmate of ours.

I’ve sent him a text apologizing again for what went on and thanked him for still paying for my sisters meal and making sure she had a away to get home safely. We talked a bit more, one thing led to another and we agreed to meet up for lunch next week after class.

I don’t know if I should consider this a date or not since we didn’t label it as such but I think I’ll just meet him there and see how it goes. I told Kim about it and to say she was pissed would be an understatement, she called me a horrible sister for agreeing to meet a guy who publicly humiliated her by leaving her alone at the restaurant.

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I retaliated by reminding her that she was the one who embarrassed him first by causing a scene in public. She was also the one who said that he’s not manly enough for her and lost all interest, so she can’t say she has a claim to him.

After calming her down she agreed with me and said that a female like her deserves a manlier alpha male (yes, I know this sounds super cringy). I didn’t know what to say to that so I just laughed and wished her good luck with that.

I think she’s still a bit salty over this and her ego is definitely bruised but at least I know she’s completely over Dave. I want to thank everyone for your support and for the awards. I don’t think I’ll post another update here

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but if anything interesting happens next week with Dave I’ll make sure to update on my page. Btw, this is my first time posting here and I have to say that it feels so surreal to open TikTok and see my post voiced by AI with a subway surfer gameplay in the background😂😂

This twin’s blunt call-out of her sister’s “pick me” behavior was a bold move, but it’s no surprise the date with Dave crashed and burned. Kim’s misogynistic remarks and public rudeness weren’t just off-putting—they were a red flag for anyone valuing respect. Dave’s exit, complete with a paid meal and Uber funds, shows he dodged a bullet, but the sisterly rift runs deeper.

Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Toxic beliefs often stem from insecurity, but confronting them directly can backfire without empathy” (Psychology Today). Studies show 70% of young adults with rigid gender views face social rejection, amplifying insecurity (Journal of Social Issues). Kim’s need for male validation likely fueled her outburst, but shaming the waitress was a choice, not a quirk.

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Sarcastic nod: maybe Kim thought Andrew Tate’s playbook wins hearts? The poster’s honesty was warranted, but softer delivery might’ve opened a dialogue. Heitler suggests validating feelings before critiquing behavior to avoid defensiveness. The poster’s plan for therapy is a solid step—Kim needs tools to unpack her views.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit brewed a storm of reactions to this twin-sister saga, serving up a mix of cheers for the poster’s honesty and sympathy for Dave’s escape. From slamming Kim’s toxic views to questioning the setup, the comments are a spicy blend of wit and wisdom. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

smolsulk − NTA, good on Dave. Maybe you should give him a shot? Lol

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DracoPaladin − INFO: Why do you hate Dave so much? What did he do to you that you would inflict your sister on him.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your sister is allowed to have outdated and toxic beliefs, but she needs to realize in the year of our lady Dolly Parton, 2022, a lot of people aren’t going to agree with those things. You told her the truth, you can’t control how she responds to the truth. I personally wouldn’t apologize, but this is your life and she’s your twin.

If you decide to keep peace and work out an apology then that’s your choice. But I am a pretty big believer in calling out stupidity and bigotry when possible and wouldn’t back down. I kinda hope this knocks her down a few pegs and brings her into the real world for your sake and hers

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DarkAthena − NTA. You owe her no apology, but you do owe Dave one. He liked you and your personality. Instead, you set him up with a nightmare. You also denied yourself a date with a nice guy that you should have accepted (unless you didn't like him). You owe your sister nothing.

ut_si − NTA but for a side note why did you set them up? Yes he was attracted to you but that doesn't mean his attraction was only physical. If I was Dave I would have been a little put off. I understand your sister thought he was cute but he asked YOU out, not a copy of you.

descentbecomesafall − I think I'd probably have to do some dramatic hair cut/dye job combo so I couldn't be mistaken for her if it was me. Jeez. NTA.

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Rini1031 − There is always the Conservative dating app. I hear they desperately need women to join it

UndeadWarlock2022 − NTA but I will say this, you both seem to be quite judgemental. You assumed Dave was a typical frat boy douchebag based on his looks and it actually sounds like he's a sweet guy who's been brought up around women and respectful.

She's also a judgemental AH for obvious reasons. But she is who she is, and you are who you are. You seem to have the presence of mind to reflect on your opinions, she may not. What will happen is she'll find her 'big, strong manly man' and he'll probably treat her like garbage.

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You will be the one to be in a healthy relationship with someone respectful and caring. That's on her. But I feel sorry for Dave being passed on to your sister because you assumed he was someone he wasn't.

Cool-Apricot1916 − NTA. I say hit up dave to see if he would want to give it a shot with you he did ask you out first 🤷🏾‍♀️

Holmes221bBSt − NTA. I mean where were you wrong? Her disgusting attitude towards women was the direct cause for Dave’s lack of attraction to her. Either she changes her views or she can move to an area with fundamentalist/extremists like her & find her “big strong man” there. Dave has every right to be disgusted by her

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These Redditors rally behind the poster, praising her for calling out Kim’s behavior while urging her to give Dave a chance. Some see Kim’s views as a cry for help, others as a dealbreaker. But do these takes capture the full story, or are they just stirring the drama pot? This tale of clashing values has Reddit buzzing.

This story of a twin calling out her sister’s toxic attitude after a date gone wrong highlights the messy intersection of family loyalty and personal values. The poster’s tough love sparked a feud, but was it the wake-up call Kim needed? Reddit leans toward “NTA,” yet sibling bonds demand more than upvotes to heal. How would you handle a loved one’s harmful beliefs crashing their chances at love? Share your thoughts below!

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