AITA for my best friend’s wedding being called off?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A best friend’s heartfelt advice turned a dream wedding into a dramatic wake-up call. Picture a cozy catch-up between lifelong friends, Leila’s eyes brimming with stress over her fiancé Steven’s controlling antics and his mom’s meddling. When her friend suggests a sly test—pretend her family’s fortune is gone—to reveal Steven’s true colors, the plan backfires spectacularly, with Steven calling off the wedding. Now, Leila’s heartbroken, and her friend’s catching blame for pulling the pin on this grenade.

This isn’t just about a canceled wedding; it’s about loyalty, tough love, and spotting red flags in relationships. The friend’s suggestion, born from concern, exposed Steven’s gold-digging ways, but left Leila reeling and others pointing fingers. Readers might feel the weight of this friendship fallout, wondering if honesty was worth the chaos. Let’s unpack this juicy saga.

‘AITA for my best friend’s wedding being called off?’

I (24f) have been best friends with Leila (24f) since we were in elementary. She has been dating this cocky frat boy Steven (26), for the last five years and he’s awful. He’s proposed to her, but he hasn’t had a hand in planning since day one but has shot down every decision she’s made. Her future MIL is a BIG AH as well and also controlling.

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Leila’s family is well off and they’re paying for everything. Her grandparents were even going to purchase them a house once they get married. Steven is materialistic and everything is about money. He often brags about how much money he has. (Has none.) That he’s marrying into money and that they won’t have to work if they don’t want to.

(Not true but he’s aware of a large money gift her parents are going to give HER. Well, they have given it to her, but she hasn’t told him.) Him running his mouth about their finances alone has caused some tension in her family once word got back to them. Her father even threatened to pull the plug on the wedding.

His parents are paying for the honeymoon. She wants to go somewhere exotic and beautiful. He proposed Vegas. She found out that he was going to meet some friends there and they were going to hit the casinos. They had a big argument about it, her future MIL agreed with her son and pointed out that they were the one paying, so it gave her son an advantage.

That the honeymoon is not all about her, but something that he wants to do too. Leila comes over upset and asked for an input from me and another friend. She knows I don’t like Steven. I’ve never hidden the fact of how I felt about him and the way that he treats her.

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While one friend suggested that the families sit down and talk, I’m the assholish friend that suggested she tell him that her family has gone broke and that they are going to have to pay for their wedding and house, to see his true intentions.

On a, civil note I also suggested that she postpone the wedding until they were on the right page or walk away from the relationship. She disagreed.Leila does the assholish thing I suggested, and he calls off the wedding. I’m now being blamed for ruining her marriage.

That I should have never told her such a thing, because she was under a lot of stress and wasn’t thinking clearly. Her father is on my side, while her mother claims I’m in the wrong and that I need to fix it. I was even called jealous by some of our friends. Leila’s too upset to even talk to me. I didn’t make her do it, but am I the AITA for suggesting she do it?

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Leila’s wedding implosion, sparked by her friend’s suggestion, lays bare a harsh truth: Steven’s love was tied to her family’s wealth. The friend’s idea, though sneaky, was a protective gut-check, revealing Steven’s priorities. His swift exit when the money “vanished” speaks volumes, but the fallout has Leila and her mom blaming the messenger.

Dr. Terri Orbuch, in a Psychology Today article, notes, “Honest communication, even when uncomfortable, strengthens relationships by exposing incompatibilities.” Steven’s materialistic rants and honeymoon power-play signal control issues, not love. A 2023 Pew Research study shows 41% of engaged couples face family-related financial disputes, underscoring the tension here. The friend’s suggestion, while drastic, protected Leila from a potentially exploitative marriage.

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Leila’s anger is understandable—she’s grieving a lost future. Dr. Orbuch advises, “Give space, then reaffirm support.” The friend could reach out gently, acknowledging Leila’s pain while standing by her concern. For future talks, framing advice as care, not judgment, can rebuild trust. Leila’s dad backing the friend suggests she’s not alone in seeing Steven’s true colors.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew jumped in like a squad of truth-tellers, dishing out cheers and shade with equal gusto. From praising the friend’s bullet-dodging tip to roasting Steven’s gold-digging vibes, the comments are a lively roast. Here’s the raw scoop:

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amish__ − Nta. In time she will see she dodged a bullet. She may never forgive you though. People are funny.

RayofSunshine_27 − NTA and you Miss are my kinda people. You didn't MAKE HER do anything. You made a snarky comment and she ran with it. And by your version of things, it looks like she dodged a bullet. Give her time to realize it.

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TheKarolinaReaper − NTA Sounds like you helped her dodge a bullet from a controlling and financially abusive married life. That would have been a nightmare of a marriage.

RainbowScissors − WTF, NO, NTA. Your friend Leila needs serious, intensive therapy if she still wanted to marry a man who called it off after he found out the money was gone. She also agreed with you and did it, it's not like you hypnotized her and forced her to do it.

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She needs to accept responsibility for *her* actions and decisions. Aside, sounds like she escaped an absolutely awful family who were ALL after the money. She would have been miserable. She's not a person to them, she's a wallet. Fine to blame you now, she's clearly not thinking clearly. *She can thank you later when she marries a man who loves her for HER, not for HER MONEY.*

PacifistWarFreak − NTA. Why are they blaming you for ruining their marriage? Those people should be thanking you for saving Leila from an obvious gold-digger. If that guy so readily cancelled the wedding because she told him that her family is broke, then clearly it was not her that he really cared about but her family's money.. Don't feel guilty, OP, and tell your friend that she dodged a big bullet.

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[Reddit User] − NTA If he calls off his own wedding cause he thinks his future partners parents are broke. Then he's a big joke. Rn peoples emotions are high so stuffs being said but if he's dated her since elementary and did this he really is the boy next door.

Maybe now she can find a Man. Her dad sided with you for a reason why would he want to give his daughter away to someone that cares more about his money than his daughter AND That Honeymoon sounds like a bachelor party. Who tf invites their friends to their honeymoon?

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No-Bus-5200 − You made a suggestion. A **suggestion**. She didn't have to act, but she did. That's on her, not you.. Your suggestion, her action, bullet dodged. NTA

Malibucat48 − NTA What does Leila and her mother want to do now? Tell Steve she lied and they still have their money so they can reschedule the wedding? And of course Steve won’t sign a prenup so her mother is okay with that too? Her father is the smart one here. Even if Steve “forgives her” lol, she is aware of his true feelings. She eventually has to realize he didn’t love her. He will be engaged to another rich girl in no time.

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Petula_D − '...her mother claims I’m in the wrong and that I need to fix it.'. It sounds like you did fix it. You did the right thing - NTA.

RiskBig3301 − NTA - She may or may not thank you later but you were a good friend & saved her much heartache down the road.

These Redditors are Team Friend, but are they just hyping the drama or nailing the truth? Their takes spotlight Steven’s red flags, making one thing clear: this wedding crash has everyone buzzing.

This wedding wipeout shows how a friend’s tough love can save heartache but stir chaos. The suggestion to test Steven wasn’t malicious—it was a wake-up call that exposed his shallow motives. Leila’s hurt is real, but blaming her friend misses the mark. A gentle talk could mend their bond, but time will tell if Leila sees the dodged bullet. Have you ever given advice that backfired? What would you do in this friend’s shoes? Share your stories below!

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