AITA for posting anniversary photos including a cheater?

Step into a nostalgic anniversary celebration, where old wedding photos stir up fresh drama. A woman shares throwback snaps featuring her husband’s groomsman, Harry, and his date, Sally, from years ago. But Harry, who was cheating on his now-partner, Mary, with Sally at the time, begs her to remove the photos, citing Mary’s discomfort.

Refusing to edit her cherished memories, the woman stands firm, igniting Harry’s complaints and a debate over loyalty and social media boundaries. Reddit’s buzzing with takes on whether her choice was fair or a jab too far.

‘AITA for posting anniversary photos including a cheater?’

When my husband and I got married, one of his groomsmen (Harry) brought a date (Sally) to the wedding. Harry and Sally were in many photos and we had a great time. Unfortunately it later came to light that Harry was also seeing a woman (Mary) simultaneously - although neither woman had any idea (neither did we).

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It was messy but long story short Harry broke up with Sally and has been with Mary ever since. Here’s where I may be the ahole - I posted photos on our anniversary. Harry asked me to remove the ones with him and Sally in them because it made Mary upset.

I refused he was a groomsman so he was in many photos. If Mary doesn’t want to see them she can not look. I haven’t actually met Mary yet but apparently Harry has been complaining that I’m an ahole to my husband any time I post a throwback to the event and he’s in it. Husband is indifferent.. Am I the ahole?

Edit: wow this blew up. I do want to say I have no ill will towards Mary. As far as I know she had no idea Harry was with Sally. I do feel a little bad, but she did choose to stay.

Social media can reopen old wounds, as this woman found when her anniversary photos upset her husband’s groomsman, Harry, and his partner, Mary. Harry’s cheating past—dating Sally while seeing Mary—makes the photos a sore spot, but the woman’s refusal to remove them is rooted in their personal significance. Harry’s request, while understandable, shifts blame from his actions to her celebration, creating unfair pressure. Her husband’s indifference suggests the issue lies with Harry and Mary’s unresolved feelings.

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A 2024 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study notes 60% of couples face tension over past relationships resurfacing online, often due to unaddressed guilt. Psychologist Dr. Stan Tatkin advises, “Own your past choices rather than policing others’ memories.” Harry could untag himself or discuss his discomfort privately, while Mary’s upset reflects her unresolved trust issues, not the woman’s actions.

For similar conflicts, experts suggest open dialogue to clarify intentions—here, the woman could explain the photos’ importance. Others might set social media boundaries, like private albums, to avoid drama. The woman’s stand preserves her autonomy, but a heads-up to Harry might have softened the blow.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit poured out support and sharp takes for this photo-posting woman. Here’s what they snapped back:

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[Reddit User] − NTA that’s the deal when you’re in wedding photos, they’re there forever lol surprised you still talk to that a**hole , he’s the cheater not you

[Reddit User] − NTA this entire situation is Harry's fault and he could have avoided this by not seeing two women at the same time. I wouldn't remove those photos either. Harry can get over it.

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JulesAbner − NTA. He can untag himself and his new gf can block the photos

Ask_Aspie_ − NTA. Harry is an a**hole though and Mary is an i**ot for staying with a guy who was seeing her and another girl at the same time. But they are your pictures. Do whatever you want with them. If he didn't want Mary to be upset, he shouldn't have been cheating in the first place.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. If Harry hadn't cheated on Mary, he wouldn't be having this problem. Mary doesn't like being reminded that Harry cheated on her? Then she should break up with him, because she can't change the past. It happened.

tcsweetgurl − NTA. People break up and people will continue to be in photos.

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the-mirrors-truth − NTA. If I'm thinking of the same post as you are, those are two very radically different scenarios. He should have thought about that before he took a date to an event that would be highly photographed. His indiscretion does not mean you can't celebrate your anniversary.

wf_of_wall_street − NTA Mary is projecting her residual feelings about Harry’s two-timing onto you posting some photos instead of where it should be directed (Harry). And Harry, picking up on Mary being upset,

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is pretending you are the root cause when in reality this is a bed he made all by himself is an issue that they clearly haven’t gotten past in their relationship. They can easily untag themselves from the photos and block them from their feeds, but let’s be real- this issue is way beyond you posting some photos.

[Reddit User] − Nta. His personal choices has the consequence that it's immortalized in your wedding pictures.. Should've thought better about cheating.

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jenichaos8 − Not the a**hole.he shouldve thought about that before bringing one of his two girls to an important event. We all know wedding pictures get revisited constantly.

These takes spark a question: was her refusal to edit the photos a fair stand, or did it needlessly stir the pot?

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This anniversary photo fracas shows how past betrayals can haunt present joys. The woman’s choice to keep her wedding photos intact, despite Harry’s cheating scandal, was a stand for her memories, but it ruffled feathers. Was she right to prioritize her nostalgia, or should she have considered Mary’s feelings? How would you navigate a friend’s plea to erase their past from your photos? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo flashing!

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