AITA for telling my mom I hate her husband?

In a quiet suburban home, where the hum of an Xbox usually fills the air, a 15-year-old boy found himself at a breaking point. His mother’s husband, a man whose presence looms like a storm cloud, has been pushing the family’s patience to the limit with his antics. From devouring prized leftovers to shirking household duties, his behavior has left the teen simmering with resentment. When his mother asked for his honest opinion, the truth spilled out like soda from a shaken can, leaving her in tears and the family in a whirlwind of drama.

The tension in this household reflects a universal struggle: navigating blended families and unspoken loyalties. The boy’s raw honesty, while jarring, opens a window into the emotional toll of living with someone who seems to take more than they give. Readers can’t help but wonder—how do you balance truth with tact when family dynamics are already on shaky ground?

‘AITA for telling my mom I hate her husband?’

So recently my(15M) mother and her husband went through a rough patch because he won't help around the house, barely contributes to their joint account, and keeps pissing the bed after he gets f**king shitfaced(every other week).

ADVERTISEMENT

Yesterday before he came back home to talk about it, mom asked what I thought of him, and I told her I hated him. For the reasons listed above, and she caters to his every need and i have to as well. I have some leftovers from my favorite steakhouse. They are eaten and my mom says he ate them as always and she tells me its selfish to get mad about it.

I have to be his alarm clock. He plays xbox as well so hes always taking my battery packs and when i tell him to stop he just rolls his eyes. So after I told her this she started crying and some family have told me i shouldve kept my opinion to myslef?. AITA?

Navigating a stepfamily can feel like walking a tightrope over a pit of emotional alligators. The teen’s outburst, while blunt, stems from a place of genuine frustration. His mother’s husband, with his refusal to contribute and disrespectful habits, has created a home environment that feels more like a battleground than a sanctuary. The boy’s role as an unwilling caretaker—waking him up, losing his food—highlights a troubling dynamic where the child bears burdens that should fall on the adults.

This situation points to a broader issue: the strain of blended families when boundaries aren’t set. According to a 2023 study from the American Psychological Association (apa.org), nearly 60% of stepfamilies face conflicts over roles and responsibilities. Dr. Patricia Papernow, a renowned stepfamily expert, notes, “Stepparents must earn respect through consistent, respectful behavior, not demand it.” In this case, the husband’s actions—like eating the teen’s leftovers or dismissing his complaints—erode any chance of mutual respect, leaving the teen feeling powerless.

ADVERTISEMENT

The mother’s tears suggest she’s grappling with her own doubts but may feel trapped by love or fear of change. Encouraging open communication, perhaps through family therapy, could help set boundaries. The teen might also benefit from a trusted adult ally—like a counselor—to voice his frustrations safely. Setting clear household rules, like respecting personal belongings, could ease tensions without forcing the teen to play peacemaker.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit community didn’t hold back, dishing out opinions with the spice of a late-night taco truck. Here’s what they had to say:

RubberDuckHuh − NTA She asked for an honest opinion and you gave it. She's just mad because she picked him and found out how bad he really was.

ADVERTISEMENT

leftist_parrot − NTA: You spoke the truth.

TooLateHindsight − NTA She asked for an opinion. She's only crying cause she knows what you say is true. Shame your mom has such low self-esteem issues or whatever...

ADVERTISEMENT

hercreation − NTA, your mom asked for your opinion and while it is harsh, you have legitimate reasoning for it. Kind of sad you are acting more like an adult at 15 years old than your mom's actual adult husband.

[Reddit User] − NTA- F**k Todd! He’ll never be your real dad no matter what he tells himself to get out of bed in the morning so he should go kick rocks. For real tho, I’ve been where you are, I feel bad for you. Being in that type of rock and hard place situation isn’t rainbows and tickles, especially when you’re 15.

ADVERTISEMENT

It’s hard to understand at that age but your mother is love blind and probably scared no one will love her if she leaves him. You just have to let the story play out on its own with the least amount of interference from you. Just make sure if the subject come up you assure her you support her decision if she ever decides to leave him and remind her all the reasons why he’s a trash human.

Frosted_Turtles − NTA. She asked for your opinion and you gave it. You were honest with your mom and it might help her see why you don't like him and what he does to make you feel that way. I hope things get better for you OP.

ADVERTISEMENT

Azraekos − NTA. It'd be one thing if you hated him for the reasons that personally effected you, like the xbox battery pack stuff, but you hate him for what he puts you and your mom through on a daily basis. He's taking advantage of your mother and you're stuck dealing with the consequences of her lack of action. She asked you what you thought of him, you answered.

Her response tells me that she was looking for someone to tell her that she was doing the right thing by letting him get away with completely disrespecting both of you, and the fact that you told her the honest truth just broke her. She's only recently realizing that her husband is a complete a**hole, and shes clearly taking it pretty hard.

ADVERTISEMENT

Rad1Red − Exqueeze me? Did we go back to the Middle Ages when women were supposed to kiss the arse of any i**ot with a d**k? Why wasn't I informed? 😀 NTA, OP. Your mum has her head in the sand, and seems to like it that way. That doesn't mean you have to.

FarSidePsy3214 − NTA my mothers husband acts the same way and she knows I hate him. Everyone hates him. She wont leave him though. I hope your mom makes better choices than mine.

ADVERTISEMENT

DeadOnEntry − She asked what you thought dont ask if u cant handle the truth NTA

These hot takes from Reddit are bold, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames of family drama?

ADVERTISEMENT

This teen’s story is a raw slice of life, exposing the messy reality of blended families where loyalty, frustration, and love collide. His honesty, while painful for his mother, might just be the wake-up call needed to rethink their household dynamic. What would you do if you were in his shoes—caught between speaking your truth and keeping the peace? Share your thoughts and experiences below—have you ever had to call out a family member’s behavior, and how did it turn out?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *