AITA for refusing to remove my Prosthetic for my Boyfriend?

In a cozy coffee shop, where the aroma of roasted beans mingles with soft chatter, a young woman sits, her prosthetic leg hidden beneath the table, a quiet testament to her resilience. At 19, she’s navigated life with confidence, but her new relationship is testing her boundaries in ways she didn’t expect. Her boyfriend’s persistent requests to remove her prosthetic spark a tension that feels like a storm brewing on a clear day, leaving her torn between love and personal comfort.

This story, shared on Reddit, dives into the delicate dance of trust and vulnerability in relationships. It’s a tale that resonates with anyone who’s faced pressure to cross a personal line too soon. With humor and heart, we’ll unpack her dilemma, explore expert insights, and hear the Reddit community’s fiery takes, all while reflecting on the broader issue of respecting boundaries.

‘AITA for refusing to remove my Prosthetic for my Boyfriend?’

I (19F) have a below the knee prosthetic as I lost my lower left leg as a child in a car accident. I move well in it and it in no way hinders my day to day life. I've been seeing a guy (24M) for 5 months now and things are going great for the most part. The one issue i'd say is that he is insistent on me removing my prosthetic around him.

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We could be hanging out and he'd suggest i'd be more comfortable with it off, or heading to bed to have s*x he'd suggest that it may be better to remove it. His suggestions have became requests as I kept ignoring the suggestions and I finally told him I wasn't comfortable with removing my leg around him yet as I didn't feel we were there.

My leg despite the fact I can move well in it is a source of trauma for me due to bullying and having had past partners be repulsed once I took it off around them and I told him as much but all he took from that is I don't trust him and think he'd be swayed and not like me anymore.

I don't take my prosthetic off around anyone except immediate family and very close friends as without it my mobility is greatly decreased. I thought since everything else is going so well he'd understand this but he is upset,

and angry seeing this as me not trusting him and thinking he'd 'do' something which is why I don't want to take it off around him. I'm starting to feel some pressure here I like him a lot and maybe i'm making it into a bigger deal than it has to be? I don't want to upset him and maybe i'm being unfair?

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This situation is a classic clash of personal boundaries and relationship expectations. The young woman’s hesitation to remove her prosthetic stems from deep-seated trauma, while her boyfriend’s insistence raises red flags about his motives. According to Psychology Today, “Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, allowing individuals to maintain their sense of self.” Her choice to keep her prosthetic on reflects a need for control over her body and comfort level.

The boyfriend’s pushiness, framed as hurt over a lack of trust, suggests a misunderstanding of her trauma. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, “Respecting a partner’s boundaries builds trust, while dismissing them erodes it.” His insistence could indicate emotional immaturity or, as some Redditors suspect, a fetishization of her disability, a phenomenon documented in psychological studies.

This issue extends beyond the couple to a broader societal problem: the pressure to conform to a partner’s desires at the expense of personal comfort. A 2023 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 68% of young adults reported feeling pressured to compromise boundaries early in relationships. Her story highlights the importance of mutual respect in navigating sensitive personal choices.

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For her, setting clear boundaries is key. She could calmly reiterate her discomfort, emphasizing that trust builds over time, not on demand. If his behavior persists, reevaluating the relationship may be necessary to prioritize her emotional safety. Respecting her pace fosters a healthier dynamic, as Gottman’s research underscores, ensuring both partners feel valued.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and suspicion that could rival a lively group chat. Here’s what they had to say:

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Dark_Tangential − NTA, but move on. It sounds as though you’re his kind of “kink”.

Tokugawa − NTA. He needs to respect where you're coming from. His pushiness is sus. Either emotionally immature or he's got a fetish you don't know about yet.

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ndcollector − NTA. I'm going to be honest - my first thought wasn't 'kink' (like a lot of other users), my first thought was that he doesn't want you to be able to easily/quickly escape him if you needed to. Even if it isn't either of those - it's your leg, your decision, not his. And his attitude and insistence just reinforces that you are right not to feel like you're at that level of intimacy with him.

waterfall_blue − NTA. I really hope he's not pressuring you to satisfy his 'kink'.

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Formal_Entrance_7076 − BOUNDARIES PEOPLE BOUNDARIES. it's okay to not feel comfortable doing something for/with/around someone. You stated your concern/boundries. And unfortunately he became aggressive about it.

I wouldnt stand for that. Have a chat with him. Say hey these are my boundaries and respect them or leave. You shouldn't have to feel forced to do anything that reminds you of trauma. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But NTA

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chzsteak-in-paradise − NTA. He’s fetishizing you almost certainly. Your comfort is less important than his kinky fulfillment.

chiitaku − You see that he is making YOUR COMFORT less important than his and by trying to manipulate you into taking your leg off because it threatens his fee-fees? You don't feel comfortable taking your leg off. End of story and discussion. Does anyone else find this controlling?

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[Reddit User] − NTA . Run - dont walk - to the nearest exit. The guy has some sort of freaky fantasy built up around you and your prosthesis. Suggestions turned into requests, will turn into ddmands very soon and may escalate to him actually destroying your prosthesis or hurting you in an attempt to take it from you. This screams red flags all over the place. Get out now.

XiaraDexter − Amputee devotee. It’s a fetish for some and seeing the amputation site turns them on much the way boobs or butts would turn on regular folks. It’s not a matter of trust, he wants to get his rocks off by looking at the amputation site. Just do what you feel comfortable with. NTA.

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saurellia − NTA. This is a HUGE red flag. Because he is right: you *don't* trust him enough yet... *and that is OK.* But it's not OK with him. Red flag. Trust takes time, and sometimes more time for one person than the other. But instead of accepting that and continuing to build trust in your relationship over time, he has decided to be offended that you cannot trust him on HIS timeline,

and he's trying to make that your problem by guilting and manipulating you. Ironically, in pressuring you to trust him on his timeline rather than listening to and trying to understand your fears, he is proving that he is not trustworthy. Reconsider whether this is the right relationship for you right now.

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These Redditors rallied behind her, urging her to stand firm while waving red flags about her boyfriend’s motives. Some saw control, others a fetish, but all agreed: her comfort comes first. Do their blunt takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the fire?

This young woman’s story is a poignant reminder that love shouldn’t demand discomfort. Her courage in standing her ground, despite pressure, speaks to the power of self-respect in relationships. The Reddit community and expert insights align: boundaries aren’t just lines in the sand—they’re the foundation of trust. As she navigates this tricky terrain, her journey invites us to reflect on our own limits and how we honor them. What would you do if you faced a similar push to cross a personal boundary?

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