AITA for telling my brother that my parents are kicking him out of the house?

In a quiet family home, a shocking secret unraveled like a plot twist in a drama. A young adult faced a gut-wrenching choice: keep their parents’ plan to evict their brother and his girlfriend a secret or warn him to soften the blow. The parents, landlords of the childhood home, had spun a web of control—spying neighbors, forced repairs, and a broken promise of five years’ stay. The sibling’s decision to speak up lit a fuse of family tension.

This tale tugs at the heart, blending loyalty, betrayal, and the courage to do what’s right. Readers can feel the weight of choosing between family ties—when is it okay to break a promise to protect someone you love? It’s a story that sparks debate about trust and fairness in families.

‘AITA for telling my brother that my parents are kicking him out of the house?’

Hey Reddit! Had a story I wanted to share that happened this year, and I figured this would be the perfect place to share it. So first, a little backstory: My brother (23) has been living in our childhood home with his girlfriend for a few years.

ADVERTISEMENT

My parents moved out of the house years ago, and my brother and his girlfriend has been paying rent ever since, as the only two people in the house. There’s no contract, it was just a family agreement. They agreed to let my brother and his girlfriend live in the house for five years, and at the time of this happening, it had only been two.

Throughout the years, my parents would force my brother and his girlfriend to pay to fix up different parts of the house as a ‘part of living there’ situation, and would have the neighbors spy on them to report back on anything my parents wouldn’t approve of.

Last year around Winter, my parents asked me to come over to discuss something. When I arrived, they told me that they were planning on kicking my brother out of the house the following Spring, and asked me to help them break the news to him when the time came.

I followed up by asking them when they were planning on telling him, and they said they would tell him in Spring, just before kicking him out. They asked me not to mention it to him. So at that point, I was faced with a dilemma.

ADVERTISEMENT

I could either ruin my relationship with my parents by telling him as soon as possible, so that he would have time to prepare for the move, or I could wait to tell him, and potentially ruin the relationship with my brother that I’ve been building over the last few years if he ever found out that I knew earlier than I said.

I ended up doing what I felt was the right thing, which was going over to his house instantly and telling them both that my parents were planning on kicking him out. Of course, he and his girlfriend were destroyed about it, and when my brother called our parents, they were livid.

They called me over, and told me I was the ‘most selfish piece of s**t’ who had ever lived. That I had ruined all of our relationships with each other because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I asked them both what about this could have possibly been deemed selfish, and to give me any example as to how I could possibly benefit from this situation.

ADVERTISEMENT

They didn’t have any answers, so I left, and told them to have great lives. They ended up kicking my brother out two months earlier than planned. Since then, my brother has moved out of state, and both of us have cut them out of our lives. So Reddit, am I the a**hole here for going behind their back to tell my brother earlier than they wanted me to?

This sibling’s choice to warn their brother about an impending eviction reflects a clash of loyalty and ethics. The parents’ secretive plan, coupled with spying and forcing tenants to fund repairs, breaches trust and fairness. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association notes that transparent communication in families fosters stronger bonds, while secrecy often erodes them.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a family dynamics expert, says, “Honesty, even when painful, preserves relationships worth saving”. The sibling’s decision prioritized their brother’s stability over parental secrecy, a move that aligns with ethical integrity. The parents’ reaction—lashing out—suggests defensiveness rather than accountability. Family therapy could help mend communication gaps, and the siblings might explore legal recourse for the broken agreement.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit rallied behind this sibling with a mix of outrage and applause for their courage.

ADVERTISEMENT

PurpleMarsAlien - NTA. What exactly did they think that not telling him until they kicked him out was going to result in? Probably the same thing--him and the girlfriend cutting them off.. You at least gave them some warning so they could look for options before being kicked out.

Intelligent-Help8946 - NTA, you did the right thing by going to your brother right away. Hope you two have had successful lives. I'm curious thought, and not really any of my business, but what made your parents decide to break their agreement and kick your brother out?

ADVERTISEMENT

LurkingToaster66 - NTA, did they seriously not think that they were ruining their relationship if they did it last minute? You were a good brother.

Yeeter-boiy - NTA. Your parents are the ones being selfish. They violated your brother's privacy by spying on them and violated their agreement by kicking them out three years early. On top of that, they didn't even give him a heads up so he could prepare to move out and just planned to tell him right before kicking him out. You made the right choice by telling your brother about this, and your parents are to blame for your relationship being ruined.

ADVERTISEMENT

melympia - NTA. Your parents were being AHs in several ways. Let's list them, shall we? 1. Your parents made your brother pay rent, yet also forced your brother to make repairs to their house. That would have been your parents' job as landlords. Just saying..

2. Your parents had neighbors spy on your brother? WTF? 3. They agreed to let your brother and his girlfriend rent their house for 5 years, then suddenly decided to kick them out less than halfway through. 4. Your parents wanted to kick out your brother with next to no notice. Which is highly illegal in many places...

ADVERTISEMENT

5. Not to mention, they intended for you to 'break it to him' that he was being kicked out by your parents. So, if your brother took it badly, you would have taken the brunt of it. 6. They, for some reason, decided to tell you in advance and tell you to not tell your brother, thereby putting you between a rock and a hard place.

If things had gone according to your parents' plan, your relationship with your brother would have been irredeemably ruined.. 7. And yet, your parents have the audacity to explode at you.. Your parents were trying to play you and your brother like puppets. Good for you for cutting the strings.

ADVERTISEMENT

InsertDramaHere - NTA. Your parents went back on their agreement. If I were your brother I would send them an invoice for all repairs done.

eirwen29 - NTA. It's so bizarre that they told you, expected YOU to keep it a secret (super healthy btw), and then they wanted to just /kick him out/ like it was no big deal??

ADVERTISEMENT

bamf1701 - NTA. I don’t know what your parents wanted to accomplish by ambushing your brother with this news, or why you had to be complicit in keeping the secret, but I think you did the right thing. Your parents’ reaction seems telling that they knew they didn’t have good motives.

Also, if they could do this to your brother, they could just as easily do something similar to you, so just by that point you saved the right relationship. All in all, I can’t blame the two of you for going NC with your parents.

katymae77 - NTA. Your parents sound like dicks

[Reddit User] - NTA. Sibling solidarity always.

ADVERTISEMENT

These fiery Reddit takes hit hard, but do they capture the full family fallout?

This sibling’s bold move to expose their parents’ plan reveals the messy tangle of family loyalty and betrayal. When does keeping a secret hurt more than help? What would you do if forced to choose between parents and a sibling? Share your stories—let’s dive into how to balance trust and truth in families.

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *