AITA for completely ignoring my father’s girlfriend?

In a house buzzing with teenage energy, two 16-year-old twins—one with flowing blonde hair, the other rocking short black hair and piercings—share a bond as tight as their identical faces. But their dad’s girlfriend of two years keeps throwing a wrench in the vibe, constantly mixing up their names despite their obvious differences. Three times a day, she calls one by the other’s name, and the boys, convinced it’s a deliberate jab, have had enough.

Now, they’re pulling a sly move: ignoring her until she gets their names right. Her “honest mistake” excuse isn’t cutting it, and her anger at their “disrespect” has turned the living room into a battleground of egos. This story dives into the messy dance of family dynamics, respect, and teenage rebellion. Are the twins out of line, or is she the one crossing boundaries? Let’s unpack this drama.

‘AITA for completely ignoring my father’s girlfriend?’

It’s more like “are we the assholes?” I have a twin (we’re 16,M). We have identical faces, but you can’t mix us up. I have long blonde hair, he has short black hair and piercings. He’s bigger, like he works out. No one mixes us up. We have known her for 2 years.

She mixes our names up all the time. At least 3 times a day. We know she’s doing it on purpose to annoy us. So. Yesterday I was in living room and she called me my twin’s name. I just ignored her and pretended she wasn’t there.

Then she called me my name and I answered her normally. My brother did the same, we did it few times. Now she’s mad at us, apparently we’re being extremely disrespectful and not being sympathetic because she makes “honest mistake” sometimes.

Navigating blended families is tricky, especially when respect feels like it’s in short supply. The twins’ decision to ignore their father’s girlfriend when she misnames them is a bold stand for their identity, especially after two years of what they perceive as intentional slights. As family therapist Dr. Susan Forward notes, “When someone disregards your individuality, it’s a subtle way of asserting control” (source: Psychology Today).

The girlfriend’s persistent name mix-ups, despite the twins’ distinct appearances, suggest either carelessness or a power play, as Reddit users suspect. Studies show that 30% of blended family conflicts stem from perceived disrespect, often tied to step-relatives undermining personal boundaries (source: Journal of Family Issues). Her defensive reaction—calling the twins disrespectful—may reflect insecurity or frustration at being challenged.

Dr. Forward advises clear communication to address such conflicts. The twins could calmly explain how her actions make them feel, while their father should mediate to ensure mutual respect. Ignoring her might feel satisfying, but a direct approach could reset the dynamic.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users jumped in with gusto, serving up opinions hotter than a summer barbecue. Most cheered the twins for standing their ground, with some tossing in cheeky ideas like calling her the wrong name in return.

enumarelish - NTA. She's going for a power play.

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SignificanceSpeaks - NTA. If she pushes just let her know you’re not used to answering to a name that’s not yours. When she gets your name right, you’ll respond to her. Won’t take long to learn who’s who that way.

AwkwardAF0277 - NTA. Does your dad have any previous girlfriends that you know of? You should start calling her by their name. If she gets pissed just remind her 'its an honest mistake'

amaraame - That's no honest mistake. Maybe the first time or 2 but to keep doing it is blatant disrespect to you both. NTA

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defenestrationinc - NTA. She’s should know the difference after two years. You’re not disrespecting her by correcting her in such a subtle way. She needs to get over it.

graywisteria - NTA. If this is an honest mistake (and I highly doubt it is), it would be because she doesn't actually care about you enough to get to know you as individuals. Her freakout that you are being 'disrespectful' is also kinda narcissistic of her.

mclemmington - NTA calle her by a different name and get arsey when she doesnt answer

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[Reddit User] - NTA 3 times *a day* with people who look totally different? If it's not some sort of weird power move she should see a neurologist.

drekiaa - NTA: If she isn't going to call you by the proper name, you have no reason to respond.

f_thatspookyshit - NTA. She’s doing it purposely. You guys are right to ignore her when she’s not calling you by your correct names.

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These Reddit takes are fiery, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the family feud?

This tale of twins and tangled names reminds us that respect is the glue in any family, blended or not. The boys’ silent protest is a teenage cry for recognition, but it’s also a challenge to the grown-ups to step up. A heart-to-heart might clear the air, but only if everyone’s ready to listen. Have you ever dealt with someone who disrespects your identity in a subtle way? What would you do in the twins’ shoes? Let’s spark a conversation.

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